Julie & Scott welcomed little Ms. Samantha yesterday afternoon. She arrived about 3:45 PM and was a healthy 6 lbs 11 oz (I think that is right) and 20" long.
Mom and Dad are awesome. Grandparents haven't come down off cloud 9 yet.... expecting that to take some time.
I am eagerly awaiting more pictures.
Best part is, now I get to plan a trip east to go visit.

I can't believe they have a daughter. Too crazy.

Happy Festivus

A day late, but it is the thought that counts.
I have been down in KC since Friday night. Ended up heading down a little early to avoid the snow that was predicted for Saturday. And for once, I think only once, it did in fact snow. A lot. Like 6" on Saturday.
Of course, once I made it home, I realized that minus a few little trinkets here and there, no Christmas decorating had been done. Tree was in the living room, but that was it. No lights, no decorations --- nada.
So, off I went in search of decorations. And commenced one of my two breakdowns over the weekend. I am still amazed how the littlest thing will send me off the deep end. In this case, tags. You know the ones that you put on presents -- To so and so, From you know who -- that sort of thing. Well, went looking for some as I was wrapping the only 2 gifts I had managed to buy and in my search came across tags -- all the ones my mom had always kept. All filled out - To Meghan, Love Mom, and viola, floodgates open. The other came the next day as I was looking for all the freakin' Christmas decorations. There are many -- so many that I was in my 3rd closet of the morning and found a box, full of other boxes, with nothing in them. Round II.
All said and done, it was a nice holiday. Got a new iPod -- whee. Been steadily downloading music at an alarming pace. And some other goodies -- new Uggs. Big shout out to the sisters on that one.
Bittersweet, would be the best word.

And today -- I am strapped to my phone as Julie and Scott are having their baby today, at least for her sake I hope its today. She headed to the hospital at 6:30 AM this morning to be induced as little munchkin had decided that he/she was quite comfortable in there -- thank you very much. Super excited for them!!
Stay tuned for more details.

Alrighty then -- I am out.
Now Listening: Graduation by Kanye West

The Reality of the Fairytale

I was perusing through some of my older posts recently, and stumbled across this little gem of an entry. Your Friday Fairy Tale
And I realized, almost exactly a year later that there is a reason they are called fairy tales -- because the reality goes something like this....
Our young heroine is still pretty hot, witty, intelligent, maybe a few pounds heavier, couple more gray hairs and has had a helluva a year. Her woodland friends have moved to new parts of the woods, started having mini-woodland creatures and she doesn't see them nearly enough. She no longer toils at the fortress -- although she does routinely drink the nectar of the gods there. And she has a new boss to replace her old cruel boss but, she still works too much.
As for the dating ritual, well, that has taken on a whole new life of its own.

As for our hero ---
Well.
Yeah.
Here is the reality of the hero. The hero is a lazy, scared and yes, YOUNG man who can't admit to how he feels, uses text messaging as a primary means of communication, drinks too much and can't decide what he wants in life. And just when he thinks it is time to cut things off with our heroine, decides to pop back in her life. Took a new job not doing what he loves, and then wonders why he doesn't like his job any more.
And he snores.
Loudly.

His family, still lovely. At least the last time I saw them.
The Electric Blue Carriage has a few more miles, and more than a few trips to the shop to keep it in fine fairy tale condition.

As a post script to the fairy tale, my fairy godmother needs to check out of rehab or where ever she has been hiding for the last 8 months, get her ass in gear and find me a new hero.
Stat.
Oh - and bring a new carriage. The mileage on the old one is getting too high.
And some new shoes. Preferably glass slippers that can support my weight.
And a new gown.
You get the picture.

I guess it comes down to this. We can now show without question -- because its on my blog and if you read it on the Internet it must be true -- that my life is NOT in fact a fairy tale and more like an entry in Bridget Jones's diary.

Now Listening: The Best of Otis Redding by --- Otis Redding

Welcome

My cousin Dan and his wife, Beth welcomed their first child into the family last night.
Little Maggie made her grand arrival around 10:45 PM at a fighting weight of 7 lbs. 4 oz.
Congrats to the whole family.

Still waiting for Julie and Scott - due any day now.
Round II of the baby boom will be coming late Feb/early March from my other cousin, Chris and his wife, Kara (Feb) and Nate and Martine (March)

Babies everywhere!!!


Now Listening: The Reminder by Feist

Walking in a winter wonderland....

I would like to say, sleigh bells ring, etc.... but it is more like the spinning of tires trying to gain traction on ice, the scraping of shovels against driveways and the constant sounds of sirens as they race to get the next car out of the ditch.
Let's hear it for winter. Although, I shouldn't be too loud in my complaints. I still have power (meaning heat) and only lost the cable for a little bit. All in all, I have fared pretty well in the last round of Mother Nature vs. the Midwest.
Mother Nature won in a unanimous decision.
Few pictures on the Flickr site to show off some of the winter fun.

So the weekend with the EX came and went. I can say this, by Saturday around noon, I was ready to go postal. I have no issue with trying to find a rental place for six months. Makes sense. Get to know the city and whatnot before you commit to a place. That being said, if you are looking at a place as 1) a rental and 2) short term -- then the condition of the driveway shouldn't be a deciding factor in renting it. Nor should the fact that the appliances are slightly out-of-date. Yes, those were the things I was listening to as we drove around town looking for someplace that wasn't 2 blocks from me.
And of course, we -- and by we, I mean him -- had to bring up the whole relationship conversation again. Like that horse isn't dead enough?!?!?
I explained to him --- again -- that I don't want to date him. I don't want to be his girlfriend. I don't want to be in a relationship with him. And, I don't want to date him.
Jury is still out on whether or not it actually sunk in.
But, he found a place. Not 2 blocks from me. But not 30 either. About 10-ish. And he won't be back in town until he moves here. And that is a whole other post, but we are not going to think about that until we actually HAVE to think about that.
Weekend was good. Happy 30th to Carissa -- she joined the club. I **think** we managed to surprise her a little bit. I hope so, because I had to park a block away from her house and walking that block in heels in the snow was NOT fun. How I suffer for fashion and my friends.
Also managed to hit a Christmas party and met a Rockette. Sorta cool. Especially for Iowa. Also saw Oprah & Barak Obama together on Saturday. Equally cool. Also managed to find a spot to stand at the rally of 18,500 people about 2.5 feet from 2/3' s of Joe's family. How is that for odds? I suppose the family that caucuses together, stays together. So they were getting their rally on as were the rest of us. Like I told Julie -- I want to want to believe this guy. We shall see. No official endorsement from the Smith camp has been issued. Still have a few other candidates to chase down.
Ah, caucus season in Iowa. Tis' a thing of beauty. Only this time of year can I say that I got a text from a friend who just found out that one of her friends heckled Mitt Romney in the skywalk downtown.
woo hoo. Mitt needs some heckling.

So pictures of the rally and the b-day are posted as well.

In random news....
Came home from work yesterday about noon due to the aforementioned weather fiasco and not wanting to chance the bug being one of the ditch-dug cars. Came in, dropped my bags, set down the sammy and soup I had picked up for lunch and was about to get started on some eatin' when I noticed an odd thing on my carpet out of the corner of my eye. I thought that it was one of the cat toys. I have a few of these little felt balls with feathers coming out of them that the cats will chase for ever. Upon closer inspection, and by closer I mean actually looking at what it was, I discovered it was not in fact a cat toy. It was cat prey.
Yes, my fat, lazy, fat cats had managed to snag a mouse. Not only had they snagged a mouse, but it was sorta missing its head.
My first thought, was "Wow, who would have thought MY cats would kill a mouse"
My second thought was "Holy shit, where is the head?? Please, please don't let them have left me a "gift" in my bed"
They didn't
My third thought was "Gross, I have mice in the house"
And for those of you that don't know my reference in thought #2, cats, domestic cats anyway, are known to bring their owners a "gift" of their kill to show how good they are. Mine apparently don't like me enough to do that or in 3 months, I am going to be cleaning my house and stumble upon a mouse skull in the oddest place.
Moving on.
I am praying that this was an isolated incident and that the poor, unfortunate mouse was just looking for a warm place. And that it was a single mouse. Not a family mouse that left behind 4 starving children and a wife/husband. That would be bad. Very, very bad. Although, not that bad as my great white hunters aka my cats seem to have the problem well in hand.

I think that about wraps up the last few days -- at least what I can recall anyway. Bowling last Thursday was abysmal. I am chalking that up to the work holiday party that I was attending in the 4 hours prior to bowling. Translation: I started drinking at 5:45 and didn't bowl until 9:15. Therefore I sucked.
Stay tuned for more.

Now Listening: Do or Die by Dropkick Murphys

Catch up

I have been bad. I know. But this week has been in a word chaos.

So a few things this AM and then I am off to another whirl wind day of meetings. Woot.

Snow. I like it this time of year. As of January 1, it can all melt. But I drive a bug -- lets just say that I am getting really good at that rocking move where you pop between reverse and first gear to get moving off a bank of snow that the snow removal peeps pushed right up against the back of your car.

On that note, Gary is here. Good times. I came home last night and he had shoveled my driveway. All of it. All, like 75 feet of it. Since that wasn't enough and I had to go to a work party, he also picked up my grocery list for me.

Seems slightly cruel, but hey - its my style.

I need to enter the political fray and decide who I am going to caucus for. So with that in mind, I have tickets to an Obama (with Oprah!!) rally tomorrow. My mom would be jealous. She would hate the Obama part, totally love the Oprah part. Trying to find a Hillary rally I can check out between now and January 3rd. Cause' in Iowa, we like to rock out with our caucus out!! And yes, I stole that line and Scott -- you can parade it all over D.C., as I am told you do :)

And last but not least, this little nugget of good corporate behavior. Found on a series of stalls in the womens room on a floor I don't normally spend time on -----

Yep - a sign asking for a courtesy flush. Will wonders never cease.

Now Listening: Under the Pink by Tori Amos

Flyover no more....

I had two people forward me this article from the NY Times today. It made me happy that FINALLY the things I have been saying about Des Moines (for the most part) are being recognized.
Now, I am not expecting the glitterati to start descending on DSM tomorrow. Or next week for that matter, but it does let people know that we are not hicks, I don't have a cow in my front yard and in fact, I do have an appreciation for the world outside of the city limits.
Moving on.

Interesting weekend. I THINK -- operative word: think-- that the message has finally sunk in with Lincoln boy. The message that I have been saying for the last 2.5 months. The one that goes roughly like this: no, I don't want to date you now, next week or next year. If you can handle a friendship, then great, otherwise -- well, yeah.
In saying this last night on the phone (for the 513th time, or so it seems) I was told that I am still a bad communicator and that I had probably reached this conclusion based on our history, not what was in front of us. My response was simple -- I don't have those feelings for you. Nothing to do with past, present or future. And both of us deserve to have someone in their life that can reciprocate those feelings.
And he is coming to town this weekend to look at places to live. One of which is two (yes, 2) blocks from me.
That should be comfortable.
Alrighty, tons of work to do, just was taking a little mental break.

Now Listening: The B-Sides by Damien Rice

My money tree is dying

$1871.17
That is the total amount for the recommended work on my car.
That is also a vacation to Europe (a cheap one, but one nonetheless)
A cruise
A new couch for my living room (and the ottoman)
A kick-ass flat screen tv
A whole new wardrobe

That is roughly 1/3 to 1/2 the blue book value of my car.
That is the real kicker.

So posed with the "what do I need to do RIGHT now?" question, we whittled it down to about $600/700 worth of work.
Merry Christmas to me.
It's happy hour somewhere, right? I need a cocktail. Cold and scratchy throat not withstanding. Hell, the alcohol might kill the germs.

Now Listening: O by Damien Rice

Not a Virtue

I will be the first to admit, I am not a patient person. My mother has told me that for years.
Patience, while it may be a wonderful virtue, is not mine to posses. Never has been.
Which is why this morning is really starting to piss me off. I couldn't get to my voicemail on my cell phone this morning and got routed to Sprints customer service center. Seems my cell phone has been shut off from outgoing calls due to an outstanding bill. I will also admit, I am not always the most prompt on that -- I always forget, so I go to the automatic payment option and figure I would be on my way.
Yeah, except my bill was $529.27 for ONE MONTH. Um. No.
So I get online and take a look.
I will accept the extra $90+ dollars over my usual monthly rate due to my rather excessive text messages this month. I pay $5 for an extra 400. Seems I used an additional 435 this month. That's on top of the included 400. So, tapping out at almost 1,000 text messages a month. I am not 15, I swear.
oops.
Ok, willing to bite that bullet.
The real goodness stems from an extra $273.24 in ambiguous "other charges".
I get on the phone to them, can't go to the store as I don't have a car (another update forthcoming) and I have meetings starting at 9 AM that literally run through 4:30.
I call the "Customer Service" number listed on the bill. Wait like, 5-7 minutes to get a representative. I mean really, how busy can they be at 8:15 AM - anyway. Get to a person, have to give her my phone number AFTER I have entered it. I tell her I need two things, 1) to get unlimited text messages added to my phone and 2) someone to tell me what in the heck these "other charges" are. She tells me for both counts, I need customer service.
Um, who in the hell did I call then?
So she transfers me. Of course, it was not a soft transfer, but a cold one. Allow me to dig WAY back into my customer service recesses and explain. A soft transfer, they wait on the line with you, explain to the new person what is up and then drop off. Saves you (the customer) from having to repeat yourself and get really annoyed. A cold transfer is when they just dump you back into queue and you basically start over.
Cold. That is me.
So, I get "Randy. I give Randy my number and explain the same set of issues. Randy tells me that the $250+ dollars in extra charges are a cancellation fee. For what, no one seems to be able to tell me, but there they are.
To recap - got charged cancellation fees for a "service" that cannot be identified nor that I actually canceled.
As of right now, I have been on the phone for 39:50 and I have only spent about 5-7 minutes of that actually talking to a human. I have spent the other 32:50 listening to horrible jazzy-hold music.
Go sprint.

For the car, it is in the shop today getting tweaked and poked. I am hoping (optimal word: hope) that it will not cost me an arm and a leg. I am trying someplace new today on a recommendation. That meant that I got a new shuttle driver this AM. One who proceeded to tell me about the $10/hour he makes, which is a great improvement over the $8/hour he used to make at John's Auto Sales or whatever.
And I didn't have coffee yet.
It has been a banner morning. And now, hopefully Randy will wrap up this crap before I have to go into 8 hours of meetings.
Woot.

Now Listening: to the aforementioned jazzy-craptastic hold music at Sprint.

Somebody has a case of the Monday's

Where to begin?
Turkey day came and went. I ate too much, drank too much and had too much of a cold to really enjoy myself.
I think that getting sick is my bodies way of telling me to slow the F down.
Good times.

The only other thing that I have to report tonight as I am still feeling pretty icky, is that I had dinner tonight. With Gary. And he now has a job offer in Des Moines. And he took it.
really still processing that one.

Now Watching: Monday Night Football.
Pictures from the last few weekends are posted on the Flickr site. Check em' out.

First Pluto and now this... ?

Ok- I was willing to set aside 12 years in the public school system when scientist told me a few months back that Pluto was no longer a planet. Although, in all fairness Pluto -- you will always be #9 for me, cold, unforgiving and the smallest of the planets. You were always the easiest to make in my many planetary diorama's.
Ah, the joys of elementary school - a solar system in a shoe box.
Moving on.
I was surfing around the Internet over lunch today and came across this little article HERE. I was intrigued. I clicked. I clicked and had my whole childhood destroyed in one newspaper article.
The gist of the story is that they have released a number of the original episodes of Sesame Street out on DVD -- and they are not recommended for children.
You read that right my Gen-X'rs.
Add it to the list of things that have kept us from reaching our full potential:

• Bike helmets. Never wore one. Must be why I am so slow.
• Small Lego's. Played with them. Probably swallowed one or two.
• Homemade treats at school. Ate them. The entire reason I am 15 lbs overweight to be sure.
• Santa saying Ho Ho Ho. As a woman, I am offended and I am boycotting Christmas.

And now this.... Sesame Street had the "wrong" message all those years ago. Yep. Counting, the alphabet, and some diversity for those of us stuck in middle, white America -- completely screwed us all up.
First Burt and Ernie got split up and now this epiphany.
I might need therapy to convince me that Cookie Monster gobbling cookies was in fact a bad thing.

Next thing you know, revisionist history will be applied to the Smurfs. Can't wait for the fall out from that one.

Now Listening (probably too loudly with earphones and will cause permanent hearing damage): The Reminder by Feist

Drink It Back

That phrase was coined a few weeks back at Lisa's bridal shower. It came from one of the bridal parties mom in response to some high levels of emotion. As in, don't get too emotional -- drink it back.
And so in true wedding weekend fashion, it was drank back. In a big way.
We drank it back Thursday night to kick off the festivities.
We drank it back Friday at the rehearsal.
And we REALLY drank it back Saturday. And we didn't even start until after the actual ceremony.
The wedding was amazing. It was a beautiful ceremony, an awesome party and I believe a good time was had by all. I know table #5 was kicking it old school. I took a bunch of pictures but I managed to leave my camera at my parents house on Sunday -- so those will get loaded later this week.
And yes, you read that right. After a 3 day bender, and a cab ride home on Saturday night, I got up -- how, I am not sure, at 8:30 Sunday morning to get on the road to surprise my dad for his 60th birthday.
I am fairly confident that had I gotten pulled over at any point in my 3 hour journey south, I probably would have gotten a DUI as I was still drunk from the night before.
Drink it back.
Party went well. My dad was surprised, that was for sure. And we had a good turn out at the house. I did feel bad that we didn't do something more -- you know that commercial on TV where the guy takes his dad to Norway for his 60th??? Yeah, we aren't those kids. We threw a party at the house to watch KC football. And I didn't put it on my mastercard. I put it on my visa, so there.
Had another Joe run in on Friday.
Drink it back.
It was ok - who knows these days. Boys are just eejits. That is what I think officially. I haven't talked to Gary in like, 4 days. And frankly, I haven't missed it. He does have another interview in Des Moines next week, so at some point, I am sure he will call.
And I can't WAIT for that.
Alrighty. Lunch posting time is almost up, so I must go. Pictures as I mentioned will be posted sometime this week --

Now Listening: Grace by Jeff Buckley

Auspicious begining

Signs that you are not going to have a good day, even if it is a Friday.

You wake up on Friday morning at roughly the same time that you GOT to work on Thursday*

Your loofah sponge doesn't work in the shower.
Yeah.
Think about that one for a minute. Not exactly sure what is up -- but I dumped a whole thing of body wash on the thing and no lather. And for the record, a loofah with no lather -- kinda hurts.

Your face lotion that has some age-defying, acid-type substance in it, gets into the paper cut on your hand as you slather it on your face.
That feels good.

You realize that the piles of dirty clothes totally and without question, outnumber the piles of clean clothes, which means you run around Fabreezing the hell out of everything so you can wear something appropriate to work.

And then, in a shining, beaming light of humanity, a beacon of hope, a kindred spirit ...Jan the coffee lady (we are on a first name basis) gives me a freebie today. Just cause'. She likes me.
There is hope.

Now Listening: Automatic for the People by R.E.M.

* For whatever reason, I woke up yesterday at 5:15 am and couldn't get back to sleep. So I jumped in the shower and was at work by 6:45 am yesterday. Dark when I got to work, dark when I left work. Woot.

Someone gets paid to write this stuff

I am taking the yearly "security" exam today at work for my government access. The usual, don't surf porn, don't take confidential info out of the building, don't forward viruses, don't think for yourself -- that sort of thing.
At the end of the review is a test. One must pass with at least an 80% to keep your access. This was one of the questions...
"You receive an email from a friend with the Hot Bodies 2008 calendar attached to it. You open the attachment and discover that the bodies are partially clothed. Since they are not totally nude, you decide to forward it on to some co-workers that would enjoy it as much as you. This is acceptable for the Sexual Harassment Policy and email attachment policy: True/False"

That was actually the freakin' question. I laughed. A lot.
That more than anything tells me how effective our government is.
Good times. Good, Hot Bodies 08' times.

Now Listening: Speak for Yourself by Imogen Heap

In the Category of....

Most out of the blue comment heard on an airport tarmac
Airport Jockey 1 “ No dude, really, crack leaves the system really quickly”
Airport Jockey 2: “Really? That is good to know. How do you know that?”

AJ1: “My mom is an RN, she works with druggies”
AJ2: “A what, RN?”
AJ1: “ Registered Nurse.”
AJ2: “Oh cool, so she really does know what she is talking about”
The above conversation overheard while standing on the tarmac at the Cincinnati Airport waiting to board one of those mini airplanes that seem to be the only ones that fly into and/or out of Des Moines.

Most work done for the least amount of return:
Counting all the bottles in my garage – 141-- and getting them into my car for a whopping $7.05 back from the return people.

Most disgusting thing I have seen in quite awhile:
While counting the above bottles, notice one bottle with what seems to be some beer left in it – shake it out to release there is in fact a MOUSE in the bottle. How it got in there, I don’t know, but it died drunk.

Worst pick up line I have heard in awhile:
Random guy in bar in Baltimore: “I don’t mean to be rude, but you look just like that one actress… you know, that one”
Me: “Molly Ringwald” – I get that one all the time. Keep in mind the only reason I think people we look alike is the red hair.
RGIBIB: “Yeah, her. She was hot”
Suffice it to say, didn’t get very far on that one.

A great reason to date someone this time of year:
Huge Piles of leaves raked up: 5
Number of yard bags filled:13
Number of huge piles left: 3
How many could have gotten done if I had a boy helping: all
At least that is what I like to think, Humor me. I am having a bad relationship week. Like I have had a good relationship week in any time in recent memory, but whatever.

Most annoying adult thing I have done this week:
Realizing that I would have to go to a bar to watch the Bears game and deciding instead to stay home and rake my yard.

Catching Up

Lots to talk about --
Not sure what my problem is, but I have not been the best blogger on the planet lately. I know, I know -- work on it...

Suck
It
Up!

But I tell you what, with my schedule lately, the last thing I have wanted to do when I get home at night is fire up ye olde' computer and fill the ether with my ramblings.
But here we are, rambling away, so I should get you up to speed.
Last weekend seems like a logical place as it is where our story last took place.
So hit the rewind button on your memory banks and travel back with me to a place I like to call

LAST FRIDAY
-- queue the really cool special effects and sound machine sounds --
Actually, we need to go a day further to last Thursday. That was when Gary was in town for his job interview. He was at my house when I got off of work. The plan was to grab a drink and then he was going to head back to Lincoln. He did of course throw out the, you know, I could just stay the night and you could take a mental health day tomorrow -- to which the answer was a resounding NO. So through the course of drinks, and then dinner we talked. He apologized for all the crap he had been throwing at me. To which I responded you are pushing too hard and in fact pushing me away -- It was a good conversation but I sorta had an epiphany. When I first saw him, I wasn't like *bam*, I have missed him. And when we were eating/hanging out I never was like, I miss this...
which led me to my comments to him later in the evening where I basically said, I can't be your girlfriend (which is what I said to him 6 weeks ago, details) and what I needed right now was a friend who could help me get through all the crap in my life. There was more, but that is the jist of it.
He headed back home and of course, on Friday morning I had a late night email from him telling me he was going to work on being a good friend to me and giving me the space I asked for. So only time will tell if this is going to be a repeat performance of the last month or so, or maybe, just MAYBE he got the message.
Friday was a 1/2 day at work as Heather and Sebastian were coming into town. Small TSA glitch led them to miss their flight, so they didn't get into town until later in the afternoon. Which was still cool. We met up with some peeps -- had more than a few cocktails.
Sangria Blanco
Yum
Sangria Rojo
Yum.
Mojhitos
Yum. Yum.
Margaritas
Yum.
So you can see how the evening progressed. Actually it sounds like a lot, but there was like 4 of us drinking them. So it was a shared deal.
Friday night got a little interesting when just as we were getting ready to leave downtown, I got a text from Joe asking me to come meet him for a drink.
Hm.
Keep in mind ever since my mom's funeral, he has either hid from me or left the building that I was in. So I was sorta tempted to see what the behaviour was going to be.
So I went.
And no, you can't all yell at me for going. Heather did that a little. I told her, as I shall share with you, there are just sometimes that you have to go and face the crap storm. This was one of them.
I think he thought that it would be cool, hang out deal.
That would be a negative ghost rider.
I lit into him. With good cause. Asked him about all the crap around my mom and his behaviour. We did manage to get a acknowledgement that yes in fact he was a colossal shit and he was scared shitless about talking to me. I let him know that a simple "I'm sorry" would have gone MILES for me and been all that he had to say.
Really boys - sometimes the simplest thing is all you need. Remember that little gem, consider it a gift.
Not sure where all of that is going - He did give me the " I miss you" routine.
Whoa dude. Check yourself.
Normally I would be more than willing to assume responsibility in a relationship. Let's face it, it does in fact take two. But on this one -- erm. Nope.
This was all you bud.
And I told him that, If you "miss me" then it is up to you to decide how much you miss me. Which with him, is ALWAYS the issue.
Anyhoo.
Saturday I headed down to KC for Melissa's 30th birthday. Which was good. I think on top of the usual "Holy-crap-I-am-30-this-is-SO-not-how-I-saw-my-life" freak out, there was the whole Mom factor. And the fact that I had thrown myself (please note, I had thrown myself) a big ole' birthday party when I hit the Dirty 30. So she had some high expectations.
Small detail, in order to throw a birthday party one needs to plan a birthday party. Which she didn't really do. Courtney and I sorta threw something together -- ok, really more Courtney than me. And by throwing, I mean she made a few phone calls.
So Melissa wanted to have dinner and then go to this club and get bottle service in the VIP lounge. For those of you that don't know, bottle service is when you pay anywhere from $250 upwards to get a bottle (get it, bottle service) of some liquor and then all the mixins'. This is supposed to be the swank way to enjoy a night out. One would think.
Then again one wasn't at NV last Saturday. And no, that is not Nevada -- its N-V (envy). Yeah. Catchy.
Moving on. So, we shelled out the coin for the birthday girl. Of course, we got the smallest table on the planet and the people next to us took liberal use of there table. By liberal, I mean, they must of made reservations for like 10 people and then decided more like 30 needed to come out. So Melissa was freaking out because there were people floating over into "our" space. Granted, it would seem that the whole concept of the VIP lounge would be to create a certain sense of exclusiveness -- Kansas City social scene not withstanding. And I did get the distinct feeling that the management did overbook the area just a little as it was the weekend before Halloween.
regardless.
What happens next goes down in my top 5.
As in, TOP 5 BAR FIGHTS I HAVE EVER WITNESSED -- AND I HAVE SEEN SOME BAR FIGHTS
Just to reference, V-I-P Lounge. Big $$
Not sure what started it, who started it or how it started, all I know is within a few seconds there were glasses flying, bottles being cracked on heads, some guy walked passed me with a cracked skull and got blood all over my arm, Courtney's shirt (that I was wearing) and Brooke. I looked over and some dude was getting the ever-loving-crap beat out of him, the velvet ropes used to rope off the VIP area where on the ground and general chaos took over. All in the VIP area. The area that we had payed to NOT have to deal with this crap.
Long story short -- too late.
The management ended up closing the bar 1.5 hours early. We managed to get out, Patrick had to give a statement to the cops, we came outside to -- and this is not an exaggeration -- like 15 cop cars, 3 ambulances, a fire truck and people getting thrown in the paddy wagon left and right.
Oh, and the cops were dicks. I don't say that lightly. Chasing people with mace, batons and tackling people on the cement isn't exactly my idea of public service. Melissa was of course in tears and Courtney was trying (justifiably) to not have to pay the full price of our night. I dunno you idiot waitress, maybe the fact that glass was flying all over us is the reason we don't think we should shell out $350 for a night you cut short. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I am over-reacting.
Or maybe you are a mo-mo and don't want us to come back to your club and pay $9 for a beer.
dunno.
Of course, the rest of the night was filled with recounting all the Drama (and that was some drama with a capital D) and karaoke on the home cable channel.
Headed home on Sunday just in time to watch the Bears get beat by the Lions -- again.

Rest of this week has been in preparation for Lisa's big Bridal Shower/Bachelerorette party on Saturday. And I found out I have to go out of town next week for work.
And then I had a little melt down yesterday at work. I blame Courtney for this one. She sent me this link which is actually a really neat story that is connected to my mom. However, little smarty-pants didn't tell me about the connection to my mom, so when I saw the blurb about her I started crying.
At work.
A lot.
With co-workers walking by.
It rocked.
Or not at all.
But it is a good thing.

So after this mammoth post to get you caught up - I promise pictures soon from the birthday weekend, should have pictures from this weekend coming up and more stories to tell.

Now Listening: Give Up by The Postal Service

Well I feel better

I just read this article on cnn.com. And it has to be true because it was on the internet. Nobody makes stuff up on the internet.
See -- read it here and see why I don't feel so bad about my adult beverage habit. This has also re-affirmed my degree in history. History can be fun kids!! Full of adventure and drinking stories.

Had dinner with Gary last night. I told him he was pushing too hard and we needed to step back about 8 steps. I don't think he was very happy about it, but I was not going to let this crazy ass juggernaut keep moving forward like this. Its like I told my sister, if this is going to happen, it needs to happen on its on, not because it was forced.
Of course, he HAD wanted me to take today off, and stay in town last night. I put the kebosh on that thought right quick. He did send an email later last night when he got back to nebraksa about being "friends" and what that meant for him.
Ugh. Seriously, I think his head needs an off switch.

And for your weekly bowling segment....
84 & 107.
So, it would seem things are looking up in that department.
Or I got lucky.
But, the new ball comes in next week so maybe that will be the magic pill.
Here's hoping.

Now Listening: Not A Pretty Girl by Ani DiFranco

Book Club for Dummies

Rule Number One of Book Club: you don't talk about book club
Rule Number Two of Book Club: you don't TALK ABOUT BOOK CLUB

Kidding.
Actually the rule lately has been you don't talk about the book because you haven't read it.
So, Gold Star to Annie -- she read the whole thing.
Silver Star to Beth and Mimi for getting past 100 pages
Bronze Star to Carissa for cracking the cover.
Meghan gets a raspberry as she was supposed to moderate the discussion and didn't even open the book. Frankly, I am calling mulligan on that one this month.

Things we did learn in book club last night:
New Vocabulary Words:
page-turningiest: to turn a page repeatedly
unputdownable: unable to physically remove the book from your hands
I was Robbed: phrase used by young lawyers to convey a sense of grief brought on by a bad bowling frame on the Wii.
I know there were a few others, but at the moment I can't remember them. Might have had something to do with the glasses of wine I had last night.
Or maybe I am just getting old and forgetful.
Let's go with that theory.
Wait, scratch that. I am not old. It was the wine.
My logic is sound, I would rather be a alcoholic and young that an old forgetful person. Makes perfect sense. Although the other thing we learned last night -- your "alcoholism" is a relative thing. See compared to Joe -- I am sober as all get out. Compared to Gary -- kinda a drunk.
See - shades of gray.
Next in Meghan's 12 steps.....
Moving on.

AND
I bowled a 167 last night.
Ok, it was on the Wii -- but I am telling you, if I can just translate that to the actual bowling alley, I am golden.
Tonight shall tell.
Alrighty then kids -- its nap and cookie time, so off we go.
Actually its meeting time -- ick.

Now Listening: Trouble by Ray LaMontagne

I am in a box of emotions

Bad blogger.
Bad, bad blogger.
I know, I know.
The whole point, Meghan, is to keep things current and share with the world the latest and greatest in your life.
Well - here we go.
Its been a busy week-plus in my world. Full of confusion, indecision and overall I don't know what I am doing. And sucky bowling.

Where to start given that state of the union is so murky?

Hm. Lets see.
Gary sent me flowers last week.
At work.
Yep. That didn't raise any eyebrows or cause people to ask "Who did you get those from?" or "What is the occasion?"
Try and explain that one to co-workers who don't know a darn thing about this situation. I left it with "an old friend" and went from there. Then there was the series of emails from him telling me over and over how AMAZING I am.
Duh, of course I am fantastic.
Which then culminated with the "I have been a bad friend" email in which he was like, I should be focused on you, what you need, not pushing all this crap on you. I agreed. Told him to chill a bit, give me the weekend to just unplug a little. Which should have been easy as this past weekend was the weekend that my dad AND my brother went up for the football game.
And then I missed a phone call.
I was suppose to call him on Sunday at some point. I sorta ended up getting caught up with the Bears game -- hello? did you see that game? It was heart attack inducing. Nonetheless, I started celebrating the victory and forgot to call - not to mention had a few drinks in me, so that would have been a great conversation.
Called him last night and he unloaded a ration of shit on me about respect, time and what is really going on -- all because I didn't make a phone call.
I was pissed.
Really pissed.
I told him I was pissed and then he told me he has a job interview on Thursday. In Des Moines.
Yep - AWESOME.
I am so not cool with this whole crap storm. I told him up front that if I didn't return a call immediately or something along the lines of what happened, that it wasn't the end of the world.
Oh - and I compartmentalize my emotions.
WTF?
Really. Not sure I want to play this game anymore.
On to other nuggets of goodness....

Traded some text messages with Joe on Sunday as well. I know, shocking. Text messages from Joe? I don't believe it. I know you don't.
That all culminated in the last text message, along with a phone call as he was getting pulled over for an OWI.
Yep.
So, Sunday had like ZERO sleep as I was up waiting to see how all that was going to play out.
Ended up having to call his dad as my cell phone doesn't accept collect calls and they would not let him use his cell. Didn't know my cell doesn't accept collect calls. So he called me back at like 4 AM to let me know he was ok and had a ride.

I am joining a convent. Its the only answer at this point.
And bowling last week.
After my triumphant dominance of the hundred mark, I fell flat.
Really flat.
99 & 80
Yes. You read that correctly.
And the team we played beat us -- and we had a 114 pin advantage with our handicap.
Massive Suckage.
This week its all about concentration.
Or maybe I should just give up, accept the crapiness of my bowling ability and go from there.

Ugh.

Now Listening: 11:11 by Maria Taylor

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was my Mom's birthday.
She would have been 60.
It was an odd day as I wasn't sure what to expect.
Called the house talked to my sister and my brother.
Got a few text messages from Courtney.
I know all her girlfriends back home were having dinner and a toast in her name. I believe some of the family went down for that. I thought about it, but dinner on a Sunday at 6 would have been a midnight arrival back here in DSM.
I had a moment later in the evening with some of my friends.
I think Courtney said it best...
I just miss her.

Now Listening: Seven Swans by Sufjan Stevens

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

Did you feel the earth move?

Perhaps catch a glimpse of a pig flying by your window?

Get a special delivery of a snowball straight from hell?

No!?!?!?!

Well you should have.

I did it kids.

Broke the hundy mark. TWICE.

You are looking at a 107 & 114 game bowler. Well, reading about technically, but you get the idea.

See I have proof:

Ok, now don't go all conspiracy on me. This isn't the Zupruder film or some weirdness about us landing on the moon. It's a cell phone picture. Allow me to explain. I am the last bowler -- so if you look across, you can clearly see that both games have a 3 digit score.

Booya. And yes, I am getting WAY too excited about a seemingly ridiculous thing, but a girl has to have goals!

Now Listening: Speak for Yourself by Imogen Heap

too early for this

So I am driving up to the coffee shop this morning.

As I do every morning.

Not a morning person. Any of you that actually know me, know that speaking to me before about 9:30 AM can lead to serious physical harm.

Anyhoo.

I pull up, there is a little line so I look up and I see this right in front of me:

That's right. Its' not just a butterfly. No -- its a FLAG butterfly. And its not just one, there are NINE of them. On a rusted out Taurus that needed a new muffler.

My thought was -- wow, what's next? Unicorns singing the national anthem? Fairies running for congress?

FLAG BUTTERFLIES?

Either that or this is some new tactic in the war on terror. I mean, what terrorist would harm a person with butterflies on their car. Like I can see W in his office (the oval one) thinking -- hmm. I like butterflies. I like flags. Lets make a car decal.

Boom.

National Victory.

It hurts the head. More than a lot. Frankly I am not sure that a gallon of straight caffeine would help that headache.

Now Listening: Four Songs - EP by Alexi Murdoch

Save Second Base

HEEEEELLLLOOOOOO?!?!?!?!?

Is anyone out there?

Echo, Echo, Echo.

Ok - I might be exaggerating just a smidge. It has been a week since I posted. But I had a good reason. Last weekend was the big race weekend. And last week was all about getting ready for race weekend. Each night had a plan. There was cleaning the house -- more straightening up than anything. Laundry night for clean towels and sheets. The CostCo run -- thanks Mike for the maneuvering of the HUGE grocery cart with more than a little momentum. And for lugging it all around. And driving out there. Well, you get the point. Thursday was more groceries -- less bulk. For the record, back to the CostCo thing, I mean I just needed a bottle of juice. Not 8 gallons. Or, 50, MAYBE 60 plastic cups. Not 250. Bulk has its place, but wow. They are not messing around out there.

Thursday was also the start of Meghan's mini-bender. See, some folks were in town from well -- out of town, and I had said I would meet up with them. Well that kicked off at 6 PM. And then there was bowling at 9 PM. So, I went straight from drinks with friends to bowling. And sorta missed the whole dinner thing. So here I was, shooting to break 100 (again) and start off sucking it up -- big time. I know you all find this so hard to believe. Well, this other guy we work with was there -- big bowler. Unbeknowst to me, prior to that evening. He has 8 300 games. Yes, I was in the presence of greatness. So I ask Mr. PBA what I am doing wrong. For the next game and a half, we decide to work on my "technique". Which translated to even worse bowling because it all felt wrong. Starting with my left foot rather than right, locking my wrist, snapping the ball on release (huh? still don't get that one) and all the while knocking down one, maybe two pins at a time.

Allow me to put this all in perspective. With our handicap we had like 230 pins on the other team. They STILL almost beat us. So the obvious answer to a bad bowling night, no dinner and a weekend where you are entertaining 50+ people?

Simple.

Keep drinking.

Martine calls it grieving through socializing.

So, when I got to work on Friday (at 7:55 AM thank you) I think I might have still been drunk.

Yes, I am 32.

Yes, I am professional

No, I should not be doing these things on a school night.

Oh, and of course, all my projects at work are hemorrhaging from every possible orifice and I had planned on leaving early that day.

Suffice it to say, I did get through the day -- with the help of some grease. And did leave at 1 PM to go pick up the team shirts and do ANOTHER grocery store run before people started showing up at 5 PM for shirt pick up. And my dad and my sister and three of her friends were due in town at any point. This is what the chaos in my house looked like at one point:

Yes - I had shirts everywhere. These were on top of the official Komen shirts, so we were in good shape. Shirt pick up went well. Had some snacks and drinks for people that wanted to stick around. And some of them did. Good to catch up with people and forgot how many of you hadn't been to the house so gave a few 10 cent tours. Good thing I had picked up all the underwear. Kidding.

Sorta.

Well of course, it dawned on me about 9:30 PM and more than a few beers later, that I still had two egg casseroles to make along with 2 huge potato casseroles for the 50 + people I had promised breakfast to. So about 10 PM we started cooking. I had some great help from my sisters friends. Not my sister grant you. She just sat her butt out back and kept the cocktails flowing. But Lindsey and Morgan kicked into high gear and made some pig their bitch. Translation: they cooked the bacon. I will say that we were almost bested by an onion. But Ms. Morgan had a solution for that:

Yes, that is right. We wear our sunglasses at night. I am not sure that they actually helped in keeping me from tearing up for about 20 minutes, but hey, they looked cool and when you are c
cooking at 10:30 on a Friday night and you have had a few cocktails, they seem like the perfect answer to a rather teary issue.

So, we managed to get all the cooking done by about 11 PM -- and even managed to get the kitchen cleaned up. Called it a night around 1ish because I had people showing up starting at 8:15 AM the following morning. I got up around 7 to get some last minute stuff done around the house. And of course had my first of two breakdowns in the morning. I was sitting there, having my coffee, thinking about getting my race number pinned on to my shirt and then realized I needed one of the "I race in Celebration.." of signs. And then realized that I was going to have to change my sign this year. " I race in Memory of..." That was one of the toughest things I have done, reaching for that sheet. And I just stood there and stared at it for a good 5 minutes or so before Courtney came downstairs and she was like, can you write one for me. I told her give me a few minutes, I am having a little bit of an issue with this one this morning. But I did manage to get not one but two of them done. One for me and one for Courtney.

So slowly all the people started showing up. And we managed to all get downtown and hit the race in time -- which was something of a miracle considering all the bodies. Got a team picture -- of course that is only about 1/2 the team. It is on the Flickr site. It was a good walk. It was a little crowded at first but once the crowd got its pace and spread out, it was pretty nice. Except it was 80 freakin' degrees on an OCTOBER morning. IN IOWA. I think Al Gore may be on to something. So, aside from a slightly warmer morning than was anticipated, we had a great turn out. I think the announcer placed the total count somewhere in excess of 22,000 people. Which is a lot -- especially for Des Moines. Now we did have a few uber-ambitious folk that not only ran, but wanted to get timed. Big congrats to Andrea & Matt, finishing 170th & 168th in their respective groups (women & men) and to Steven who finished 35th in the mens standings.

Yes, that means that about the time we were completing our first mile, they were done, had cooled down and were headed back home to shower and wait for my walking ass to get home and get the food cooked.

But -- she had a plan. HAHHA.

Actually, it sorta solved itself. My father wasn't going to walk the whole 3.1 (yes Courtney, 3.1 miles) miles. He made it about 3/4 of a mile before the knees gave in. So I told him, no sweat -- head home and get the food in the oven.

The rest of the race went well. My second emotional part of the day was when we got to the finish line. Survivors have their own chute to finish through. They get a rose, have a whole cheering section and so on. Watching all these women walk through the finish line and get cheered on was just a little too much.

So there was that.

But on the whole, it was a really good day. Made it home, all the girls had beat me to the punch and had all the food set out, the bar set up and things kicked off in full swing. See all the pictures on the Flickr page link on the left. We did find out later that day that our "racy" team name had made the Des Moines Register. You can check out the article here. Of course, this was day three of the Meghan's Race Bender. Bloody Mary's and beer until about 5ish -- when I needed a "nap". Right.

I think everyone had a good time. I know that I did. It had all the makings of a really emotional day, and it was but in a good way.
And to top it all off, I got a picture of all the muchkins that raced in their team shirts and I think it might just be my favorite picture of all time:

That's Cloud, Emerald and Noah. All of them sporting the coolest in 7 month old gear. Kills me. Every time.

We did of course, have to go out for dinner and then had to keep the trend alive as it was LaNiya's birthday weekend. Those pictures are also posted.

Sunday was all about two things. Sleep and football. Oh, and reclaiming my house. But mostly sleep and football. Bears managed to pull one out against the Pack -- and I couldn't be happier. AND

I got to watch the "Rock of Love: The Reunion" show on Vh1. More train wreck. More trashiness. More bad hair. I heart it.

Ok, now that I have brought you up to speed -- sorta, I will sign off. I promise I won't wait a week between posts anymore. In theory, I am through the craziness and can start getting back to normal life. Whatever that might be.

Now Listening: Walk the Line Soundtrack

Daisy Turned 21

I blocked.
I partied.
I block partied.

Weekend was good. Drank too much. I know you all find that SO hard to believe. But it was nice to be home. The block party turned 21 this year.
And yes, that makes me old.
Weird to have a block party without my mom. Weirder to have one with Gary there.
We talked. I told him that I couldn't be his girlfriend. He told me all sorts of crazy shit that he never told me when we were dating. I think he might be having a mid-life crisis. I don't know.
The kicker was when I showed my sister the letter he wrote me. And their response was "I have mixed feelings"
HUH?
Mixed feelings? You are my sisters. You are on my side. There are no mixed feelings.
They were like, but he said such nice things. Ok, that was never an issue. The issue was that he could have told me these "nice" things at any point IN THE LAST 7 YEARS.
Ok, done with that.
I will keep you posted on any new developments.
Big race weekend this week -- trying to get the house in check (thanks god for the cleaning peoples scheduled visit lining up on the right week) and making a big ass Costco run this week.
Woo hoo.
Cross your fingers that the weather holds out. If it doesn't 50 people in my house could get interesting.
Flickr site is updated with pictures from the party.
Should have more tonight for all of you, just not feeling the love, or the appropriate snark levels.
Oh - but I did finally get caught up on the "Rock of Love" finale on Vh1.
It.
Was.
Awesome.

Now Watching: No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain

Kingpin I am not

I joined a bowling league.
I did this several months ago. The thought - at the time -- was cool, something different, gets me out of the house (like I need help with that), meet some new people that sort of thing.
I did caveat my joining of the team with the usual "Um, I suck at bowling". But, I was told no worries.
Yeah - I suck.
Two weeks in and I have bowled a 83, 98, 84 & 95 -- SUCKAGE.
All I wanted to do last night was break 100. I had a ball issue.
And no, get your minds out of the gutter.
None of the balls fit my fat fingers. They were all too small. And the ones that did fit, were like the 15 pound balls. So that is what I blamed it on.
On the upside to the "league play" I do get a gift -- I get to either pick shoes, a ball or a bag.
My first thought was shoes -- I mean, who want to wear other peoples shoes?? But then I realized, 1) they disinfect them 2) I wear socks. I do not wear gloves and I don't think they disinfect the balls, so I am getting a neon orange ball. It was ordered last night.
So watch out 100 here I come....

Posted some random new pics on my Flickr site. Nothing too special. The huge spider I found in my house, the deer in my back yard this morning, that sort of thing.
And of course, this is the big Block Party weekend -- fun, games and telling the ex-ex no, I will not be your girlfriend, wife or mother of your children.
Good times.

Now Listening: Van Lear Rose by Loretta Lynn

How Am I?

Everyone keeps asking-- how are you? are you ok? how is your family?
Do you want to know how I am? I am freaking the fuck out.
In a nutshell.
And no, that is not a cry for help. That doesn't mean that I need constant attention or supervision or anything else like that. It just means that things are seriously outside of my control right now. And that is not how I operate.
I have an ex that can't face the fact that he was a total -- and I mean TOTAL -- shit when things got bad. I have an ex-ex that is madly in love with me and if I asked, would move to Des Moines tomorrow and get married next week. I have a make out boy that I have no idea what is going on with, not that I have high expecations. I have work that is chaotic as all hell and I need to be spending way more time there. I have a family that needs me to be around right now.
I have fifty freakin' people coming to my house next weekend for breakfast.
Oh- and my mom died about 3 weeks ago.

To quote -- loosely, a John Hughes movie-- "aside from that I am fucking perfect"
And if you can give me the whole quote and the movie, then you are possibly a bigger geek than me.

So my options are to curl up in the fetal position and ignore the world or deal with this crap one dramatic deal at a time.
I don't have the answers. I am no where NEAR close to the answers. And I read back through that and I think that I must be the most selfish woman on the planet. I have a ton of good in my life right now, friends that have other shit going on in their lives -- and that is important to recognize. And still I am focused on all of MY stuff.
I need a reality check, that is how I am.
How to get that, well that is a whole other story.

Now Listening: Bittersweet: The Very Best of Nina Simone by Nina Simone -- not that my listening choices have anything to do with my mood right now.

The fun never ends

Not even sure where to start.
Weekend that was SUPPOSE to be quiet, was of course not. Had two separate sightings of Joe, both times he either left or went and hid rather than see me. But he did buy my beer the time we stopped into his bar.
That's a manly thing to do.

Got another email from the ex-ex confirming that he is still thinking about me, how much seeing me made him miss me and just laying it on -- even going so far as to say,

"I don't want to seem needy but...."

Ok, if you say that, odds are good that YOU ARE NEEDY.

Work is freaking insane. Nothing is going right. And everyone went all high maintenance on me.

Saw make out boy this weekend.

And I have killer cramps right now. I am sure you all wanted to know. Deal with it.

And coming in under the title, of sealing the deal, discovered tonight that I have ants in my kitchen.

At some point it has to stop. I mean, what do normal people do? I will grant you, I am not really the dictionary definition of normal but at some point this has to all slow down, right? Shouldn't I be able to just spend a few days not freaking out about something? The worst part is, I just really want to talk to my mom about all this, and I can't. I mean, she would have simultaneously pissed me off and made me feel better, but it would have been her.

And, I am suppose to go out of town this weekend for the block party. The same block party that my dad invited Gary to. The same block party that I basically told him, as my father invited you, if you want to come, you can. And he took me to task on that one. So my dad is all, Come on down, spend the weekend relaxing, etc. I was like Dad, you sorta made me relaxing this weekend about impossible.
Here is where I am at. I am ok with having him in my life. As a friend. I am not ok with being his girlfriend, fiancee, mother of his children and so on. If he can handle that, then fine. If he cannot handle me in his life without one of those labels, then the answer to me is obvious.
It's not there for me. It's like I said earlier, I closed that chapter of my life.

On the upside -- yes, there are good things in my life -- I had 44 people sign up for the Race for the Cure and like, another 4 or 5 that didn't quite make the deadline (slackers, you know who you are) but will be joining us anyway.
So, now I just need to plan a breakfast for 45-50 people. Should be fun. Not sure where everyone is going to SIT, but it will be fun.

I need a deserted island. With a cabana boy. And a kicking bikini body. And a winning lottery ticket to make all that happen.

Now Watching: The Daily Show
Now Listening: to Boris ( my cat) howl at air.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Drama Installment #8,741
Do you ever feel like you have lost all control of your life? That if this was a reality series, you would be like, no way that is really happening?
I have those thoughts.
daily. at least this week.
Last night.
ooh, last night. So, as was mentioned earlier this week, the ex-ex has been making noises about being interested in me and re-connecting. He actually called me on Wednesday night when I had a few people over at the house, so I let it go to voicemail.
Well, I called back last night after work - I am a big girl, it seemed to be the right thing to do.
Holy crap.
We talked for about 35 minutes. Actually he talked a lot. I listened.
The conversation, in a nut shell, went something like this:
I love you. I have always loved you. I compare everyone to you. I want to spend time with you. I want to get married and have kids and the only person that I only think of when I think about the future is you. I am sorry for all the things I have done to you in the past.
And so on
And so on
And so forth.
And basically every possible iteration of the above message that you can think of.
My first reaction was -- you think the week after my mom's funeral is really the ideal time for this conversation?
Really?
Just think on that for a minute - or seven years.
And then of course, he mentions that he talked to my dad. I was like, I know. He mentioned the block party, again, I knew the invitation had been extended. And he wanted to know what I thought about him coming down for that.
Ok- you just dumped a shit storm on me and now you want to plan a weekend? How about you give me a little time to digest all of this.
Say maybe seven years.
Who effing knows?
I don't. Clearly.
Well, scratch that. I do know that at no point last week when we were catching up was I like, man, I miss him or I can't believe I am not with him. And then there is the fact that in the intervening seven years, I have grown up a little bit. I am not some wide eyed 24 year old that needs someone to help them in the big bad world. So, honestly I am not sure who he is so madly in love with. Some previous version of me?
Jeebus.

Now Listening: Little Plastic Castles by Ani DiFranco

PS: for a great laugh (thanks Danielle) check out this link, especially all my coastal readers.

Back to life, Back to reality

I have been told that people have stopped reading, as my posts have been too sad lately.
Well, back diving head first into the ramblings that you all love. Because surely I cannot just have a few days without anything happening. Oh no. That would be to easy. So I finally made it back to Des Moines late Monday morning. I had to stick around the house and we finished off the last of the thank you cards -- I hope we got them all. Should you be a reader and did not get one, well, chalk it up to the organized chaos that was the last 10 days of my life. That said, a HUGE thank you to everyone. The outpouring of support from every nook and cranny of my life has been amazing. It truly is the silver lining in all this.
Ok - back to the good stuff.
So Monday night a few of my girlfriends decided I needed a night out. Like I hadn't consumed enough alcohol in the last few days. Whatever. So we went for sushi. And it was awesome. I think that was the most food I have consumed in like, 2 weeks. Of course, at Taki, with sushi comes sake bombs. I think we did 3 or 4. And then, we decided to go to another bar for "one drink". And for the record, we did only have one drink. And a few shots, but we never specified about shots.
What am I? Like, nineteen? Anyway.
During the course of the pool game, a question came up about make-out boy. As in, where is make out boy, have you talked to him? I hadn't, so a text message was sent and the response was, been a crazy weekend/week, if you want to stop by later, feel free. As I have mentioned before, we have a friend in common, Lisa. Lisa who was with me Monday night. Lisa who decided that we ALL should go over to Make-out boys house. Um, no. Of course, I hadn't driven that night. Smart move, Very smart move. So we head -- to what I think is back to Lisa's house. Where my car is. And all the sudden, she is giving directions to Make-out boys house, he does have a name BTW - Chris. And then we are there. All three of them get out of the car and head right into the house. I am furiously texting him to let him know he is about to have his house invaded, and all I hear is hysterical laughter coming from inside the house. My only thought at this point, is "Holy shit, I cannot believe this is going down like this.". About 5-10 minutes later, all three girls, plus Chris pour out of the house. I go over, get a hug and I am like, SO SORRY about this. He is laughing as well, so I think no harm, no foul. In the course of like, 2 minutes, all three girls jump into Liz's car and off they go. Leaving me stranded. Nice. Very nice.
So long story short, too late. I had a little slumber party. Get your heads out of the gutter, it wasn't anything that crazy - so yeah.
My insane friends.
Of course, against this little back drop, I have another wave of drama hitting me.
When it rains it pours.
So as I mentioned over the last few posts, my ex-ex boyfriend showed up to my Mom's funeral. Small history lesson. We dated for about 3.5 years and broke up like, 6 years ago -- with the last communication coming in somewhere about 5 years ago. I did in fact, send him an email -- along with some other people -- telling them what had happened. I told him mostly because his mother passed away when we were dating and he had come down to my parents house on several occasions and knew my mom.
So fast forward back to last week. He was great. really. Everything he did was compassionate and very adult. It meant a lot. So since he left the house on Thursday, I have received two emails from him. One that said it was great to see everyone, even under the circumstances, reminding me to not have to be strong all the time -- that sort of thing. The second one came on Tuesday when he basically said he had been thinking of me non-stop and wanted to know what my weekend schedules were looking like as he thought we should meet somewhere or he could come visit. That was then topped off by a phone call from my sister on Tuesday night in which she started the call with "You are never going to guess who Dad is talking to". Given the people that have been turning up out of nowhere the last few weeks, I had no idea. Well, seems Gary had given my dad a call. And they talked about a few things, according to my father, and then Gary invited him to join him at a Nebraska football game. My father then turned around and invited Gary to my parents block party the last weekend of this month.
Um, WTF?
I mean come on, I haven't talked, emailed or sent a carrier pigeon to this guy in FIVE YEARS. And all of the sudden he is like, lets get together, lets see each other, let me hang out with your dad.
Can't deal. I just wanted to come home, get back to normal - or whatever version of normal my life is -- and go from there.
All I need at this point is a drunk, 2:30 AM text message from Joe and the whole thing would be all set.
Narf.

Now Listening: O by Damien Rice

Thoughts that linger

I have been thinking quite a bit over the last week about everything that has happened. It has been a lot.

I remember being totally devastated that I never heard from Joe right after it happened.

I remember saying the Our Father right before they took my mom away.

I remember having a beer with my dad after we left the funeral home and watching Nebraska play the last 5 minutes of their football game.

I remember watching the train-wreck of Brittany Spears on the VMA's on the Sunday after it all happened when I came back to Des Moines for the night.

I remember seeing the flowers from my ex-ex boyfriend at the funeral home.

I remember standing for what seemed like forever during the visitation, waiting for the line to get smaller and it never really did.

I remember getting up and talking, but not really seeing anyone in the church.

I remember my cousins beautiful voice singing the Ava Maria

I remember breaking down the first time I saw Julie when she came into town.

I remember lawn mowers stopping as the funeral procession passed on the way to the cemetery.

I remember turning back in the limo and see an entire almost mile of cars following us.

I remember being more tired than I have ever been on Thursday.

I remember calling my mom's cell phone the day after she died to hear her voice. I have done it a number of times since.

I remember a ton of people who all the sudden told me I looked like my mom.

I remember seeing Nate outside the church and him giving me the biggest hug I think I have ever gotten.

I remember all my friends that came down just for the funeral. Their support is something I will never forget.

There are more. But I will leave you with those.

Passion

I had a number of people that were wanting a copy of th eeulogy I delivered at my mothers funeral.
Here it is.

I have heard over the last few days, well months, really about my mothers zest for life, her joy for everything and her love of life. For me it comes down to one word: Passion.
It is a word that we hear quite a bit, but never really think too much about in terms of ones life. I believe that she was full of passion and embraced everything in her life with it.

She was passionate that that stack of checks in the basement from 1982 were in fact, very important documents that could not be thrown away.

She was passionate that in fact, Ty Pennington and the whole Extreme Makeover crew should just come and raze the house down and start all over.

She was passionate that I was totally off key with any and all political beliefs and couldn’t understand where she went wrong.

She was passionate about my father. And as we have witnessed over the years, that could be good or not so good. But she was. Starting from the fact that she thought he was a total idiot when they first met. And to hear him tell it, it was love at first sight.. And no more was that obvious to myself and my brother and sisters than over the last few months. From them kissing each other in the kitchen when we were younger to snapping at each other over some ridiculous petty thing, their 34 years together is something that we will always cherish as a family and look to as a role model.

She was passionate about her teddy bears and the fact that there was always room for one more in our house.

She was passionate that no matter what anyone says, Sadie is in fact, a well-behaved dog.

She was passionate about children. Having worked in the school system for so many years, I cannot tell you how many times we would be out running errands and she would see one of “her kids”. She never forgot a name, their teacher and we would have to stop and chat for awhile. And in the last few years, as we have gotten older and our friends have brought their children over, the pure joy she had for all of our friends children and our growing family.

She was passionate about shopping. No one could shop like my mom. My father, I belive will back that up. Every day after Thanksgiving off we would go. All I wanted to do was relax and watch some football, but no – she had to get out to the sales.

She was passionate about the disease that took her life. From every Walk For The Cure, to her luncheons that she put on, my mom was not going to let this disease do to other women what it did to her.

She was passionate that in fact, she would need all those stacks of magazines from the entire decade of the 80s at some point. For what, I am not sure we will ever know.

She was passionate that under no circumstances could you possibly have enough Christmas decorations, trees, snow men or Santa Clauses in your home.

And most of all, she was passionate about her friends and family. All of us. To the idea that Patrick could do no wrong – which is debatable, to her and Courtney’s daily routine of “How much I love you”, and her constant worrying that Melissa was doing the right thing and being taken care of. All the visits’ to family – insisting that we see everyone in Omaha for Thanksgiving and in recent years, all the laughs shared around the table in Cedar Falls.
And her friends. There are no words in the English language that will ever begin to express the gratitude and thanks that we have for the wild women walkers. And all of her friends that have supported her over the years, moving all over the world, raising all of us and still being a great friend. Thank you just seems horribly insignificant. My family and I, will be eternally grateful for all of the devotion, love, thoughtfulness and unending generosity that these women have shown. My mother and her friends have showed us that friends are in fact just an extension of family.


And I am passionate about the fact that the hole that has been left in her passing will never be filled. But I know that as I look out at all of you, your stories, thoughts, prayers and continued support will help make each day a little better.

There is a quote that I have had for ever in my cube and that my aunt has on a plaque in her house that I think captures my mom’s journey in every way possible.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO – What A Ride!!”


I will not let cancer define my mother. It showed us her strength, but it was in fact, the ride that made her the woman that we have all loved.

Woo Hoo.

My Surreal Life

I think that yesterday was the hardest day of my life.
We had my mom's funeral.
It was insane. So many people. We did a brunch in the morning before the service and then did our final family visitation before the actual funeral. It was tough. Really, really tough. Just watching them close up the casket sent me into a sobbing fit.
The funeral itself went really well. All the readings we had picked out were perfect. Father hit all the right notes that my dad had talked about in his homily. The music. That is what got me.
My cousin signing the Ava Maria about broke my heart. And then of course, there was On Eagles Wings -- the most cliche funeral song ever, but my dad wanted it. Of course, it was played right before I spoke.
Brilliant timing on my part.
But I did speak. THAT was actually the hardest thing I have had to do. All my sisters and brother came up with me, just to support me. But I got through it... barely in some parts.
We finished up and as I was sitting in the limo waiting to go to the cemetery, I looked up and saw .... my ex-ex boyfriend. Like, I haven't talked to him in something like 5 years.
It was surreal. I mean, really.
Actually the last four -- five days -- have been surreal. But the Gary thing was definitely up there on the list of key contributors.
We made it through the grave yard service without too many issues. I just remember looking back at the cars and the line just went on for ever....
So many people came down from Des Moines, flew in from the coasts..... I have been overwhelmed with people. The level of support and generosity that has been shown to my family is beyond comprehension. And the flowers and plants. We will be writing thank you notes for the rest of the year.
Right now I am just tired. So tired. Gonna hang out at the house for a few more days before heading home.
The whole thing was like a wedding in reverse. You have to say hello to everyone, balance both sides of the family, make sure the friends that travelled get the time with you -- feed and hydrate (or de-hydrate with alcohol, thanks Nate & Sebastian for the crazy wine run) everyone. Just nuts.

The rolodex of my past

We had my mom's visitation last night.
In a word, flowers.
In another word, people.
Lots and lots of people.
People I knew, people I should have known and people I don't know at all.
It was a steady stream for a good 2 hours. We actually had to start the rosary service late because the receiving line wasn't getting any smaller.
I am amazed at the people that I saw. Old high school friends, old high school friends parents, coaches, teachers -- I even saw my 7th grade English teacher. I knew that I knew her face, but could not place her name.
Oops.
Actually that was the theme of the night. I said on more than one occasion, this is what my mom always kept up on -- all these people. I never had to worry about names or anything with her around.
Some friends on my mom's did a video slide show of pictures. It was beautiful.
We are getting ready to leave for the brunch before the funeral, but I wanted to get down last nights events.
I can't believe all the people that told me I look like my mom -- for 32 years I have been told I was my father's daughter. I had sort of made peace with the fact that I was going to look like a tall, fat guy my whole life.
Well, last night it was a steady stream of how much I look like my mom.
It was odd.

Now Listening: to my sister and brother fighting.

It's quiet

And I believe it is the quiet before the storm.
Or so they say.
I have been home since Friday night after work. My mom passed on Saturday morning, so this house has been all things chaotic since then. I decided to get up a little early this morning just so I could collect my thoughts a little bit.
Or a lot.
I was able to get home before she went. That has given me a huge sense of relief. And all of us were here. Everyone seems to think, that she waited for all of us to be around to say goodbye. I don't know if that is in fact the case, but it does certainly seem that way.
Everything since then has been a blur. People, more people, food, more food... and now that we have hit the week days, the flowers and cards.
I am amazed at the tiny corners and recesses that everyone has come out of. It's just amazing.
People I haven't seen or talked to in 10, 15 years are just showing up, calling etc. I suppose that it is really a reflection of my mom rather than anything we have done. That is what we should be focused on.
I have had some questions about times, places etc... so here we go.

Visitation & Rosary (yes, we are catholic -- I haven't felt this catholic or had to dig this deep in the catholic recesses of my brain for a long time) will be tonight, 6-8 PM, rosary starts at 7 at the Davis Funeral Chapel in Leavenworth, KS
www.davisfuneralchapelinc.com

Funeral will be tomorrow at my parents parish church, St Francis De Sales in Lansing, KS. That is starting at 12:30.

I am hanging in there. LIke I said, it all seems a bit of a blur at this point. I think it might stay this way for quite some time. The rest, I am sure, will come.
Now Listening: to nothing. And it's good.

Susan E Smith

My mom died today.
I am for once, without any thing to say.

I have pissed someone off

Are you kidding me? Really.
Kidding.
Someone, somewhere is having a good old laugh at my behalf.
Like I don't have enough going on in my life right now.
I came home today -- today being the only day this week that was not blocked up with something. Today being the gonna sit on the couch, watch some football and maybe just maybe, have a beer.
If I was feeling really ambitious, I would mow my urban jungle, I mean yard.
No, instead, I came home to water.
Lots and lots of water.
Water in my kitchen.
Water in my dining room.
Water in my hallway.
Water completely soaking the rug in the hallway -- and luckily preventing the water from getting into the rooms with carpet.
Water dripping from every possible seam, joint, and whatever else you call them, in my basement.
Water all over the basement.
Like 2 feet of water that had collected in the washing machine tub.
My house was a swamp.
For the second time in 6 months.
The culprit this time around?
Well, you won't believe this one. As I was walking out the door this morning, I turned on the dishwasher. Why? It was full from the night before as I hosted book club last night.
Turns out that handy little hose that connected the dishwasher to the water line decided to separate. So water was shooting out of it all day long.
All day long.
8 hours.
Freakin' swamp.
You have all heard that old adage "God only gives you what he thinks you can handle"
Ok - news flash.
He, she, it, whomever -- pick a Deity for all I care -- I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!. It's official. I am tapping out. Hit maximum capacity. Filled to the brim.
Don't care.
Done.
So I managed to get the main floor cleared up.
Wait...
I hear lightening. Yes, it is raining. Meaning the rug I had laid out to DRY is now being rained on after sitting in the swamp that was my hallway all day.
Awesome.
I think I am just going to call it a day.
Seriously, not sure what sort of cosmic cleansing I need, but more than willing to listen to any suggestions that anyone has at this point.

Now Watching: Thursday night football.

Normal? What is normal?

We hit critical mass the other night.
Massive breakdown
Reading in bed, listening to the radio as I often do before I fall asleep. Didn't have the iPod plugged in so was listening to a local station when "In The Arms of the Angels" by Sarah McLachlan came on. Not sure what the tripping point was, but the floodgates opened and didn't end for a good 20 minutes. I was like a 2 year old after a temper tantrum. That hiccup-y, sobby heaving that accompanies a good, solid, bawl your eyes out cry.
So there it is.
I am confident that it will not be the last.
Mom unit is ok. Things are pretty much changing daily. Just when you think you have a handle on the latest normalness -- and I use that term VERY loosely. NOTHING about this is normal. Something else shifts. She clearly is spending more time in bed, more time sleeping and not as engaged as she was with other people. But we take it day by day and keep doing what we think is right.
Some days are good, some are not. I have days where I will just stare at the computer, trying to get work done -- knowing that there is massive amounts to do, but just can't get focused. Other days, rock star. It sucks. But, I try to remind myself that there is in fact, a world that continues to revolve. Other people have things going on in their lives and I do need to focus on the good. And there is a lot of good right now. The good is good, and the bad, well it is bad.
Funny -- I don't have a little curl on my forehead, but whatever.

Now Listening: Wincing The Night Away by The Shins

Dog Days of Summer

It's September.
That just seems insane to me. Where in the hell did my summer go? It wasn't at the pool, on the boat, at the lake or plopped in a beach chair reading trashy magazines -- so where is it?
WHERE HAS MY SUMMER GONE?!?!?!?!
Oh, there it is.
In a cube.
Split between meetings and conference calls. Deadlines and budgets. And with the exception of an occasional lunch-time online check of People.com, not a trashy magazine in sight.
Go ahead. Envy me.
In honor of Labor Day - I chose not to labor. Was down at my parents house for a little bit. Came back up to DSM on Sunday so I could have one day at my house where I do more than just sleep in it. So I went out to the Court Ave Street Party on Sunday night with the headlining performance by Reel Big Fish. Hadn't heard some of their stuff since college, so that was cool. Had some cocktails, met some new friends, avoided ex-boyfriends, all in all, a solid Sunday performance. Even traded some digits -- GASP.
We shall see on that one. You never know how that is going to go when you meet someone in a bar.


Yesterday was spent in dedication to two things -- 1) sleep. 2) my house.
I did better at #1
Although, I did get quite a few things done around the house. And got my mom's b-day party invitations finished up. Just not mailed. So if you didn't get an invite via the mail and you think that you should, rest assured, it will be there shortly.
That then translated to a day of laundry and watching mind numbing, brain cell killing television. And I think it is fair to say that I found my place. Vh1. Rock of Love. Bret Michaels, yes of Poison fame, looking for "true Love". With 20 year old strippers. But I love it. I love it for its trashiness. I love it for its bull shit drama. I love it for the train wreck that is the whole show. Check it out. I PROMISE you will not be disappointed. Think groupies who still think that "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" is still the uber-power ballad of all time. Which it very well may be -- but that is not the issue here.
This of course took me right up to that part of the night that got interesting. When the phone started ringing with text messages. From the boy that I had my little make out session with a few weeks back. Over the course of a few text's back and forth, I was invited over to come watch a movie. So I did. And we hung out. And had a good time. And yes, we made out a little bit more. Sometimes a little making out is good for the soul. Martine says I had a date. I don't think so. I think we just hung out for a little bit.
On another note, I just tried logging into my messenger client and for the life of me CANNOT remember my password. And of course, the "security question" does not seem to be doing the trick.
Grr. I just want to do a little IMing.

Now Watching: the daily show

Save Second Base

Well the design is done. For those of you that haven't signed up yet -- get on it!! Deadline is 09/21 for online registration. For those of you that will be unable to walk, but want a t-shirt let me know. We will have baby, kids and adult sizes available. Final cost will depend on volume. I will keep you posted.
Now Listening: Tim by The Replacements

True Love

My parents have been married for 34 years. I think it is fair to say that not everyone of those have been picture perfect. But, they have stuck it out and I consider myself lucky to have them as a model to follow -- should I ever get married. That is a whole other post and many, many sessions on the proverbial couch.

I digress. Back to my topic.

But with my mom's illness, I have noticed a new level of devotion between the two of them. Nothing exemplifies this more than the scene I was able to witness on Saturday. As I mentioned, we came back from the party early. My dad and I had some dinner, and then moved out to the deck as it was a great night. Opened some wine and were just chatting. My mom decided she wanted to come out and join us. So we got her situated, and I had to run inside for a minute. As I was doing that, my dad said something about turning on the CD player. My uncle has the whole house wired -- including the deck, so I turned it on shuffle. As I was coming outside, the Temptations "My Girl" had shuffled through the play list. I opened the door, and there was my dad singing to my mom.

I actually had to turn away and compose myself a little bit. I felt like such an intruder on a very personal moment. However, as I told this story to Martine, she reminded me how lucky I was to actually have that memory.

And I agree.

Catching Up

Well kids, it has been a little bit since I have posted. However, it has not been for lack of things occurring in the always intriguing world of Meghan. Less a day go by that something blog-worthy doesn't happen. It just so happens that the last few days have been somewhat technology constrained. I was regulated to dial-up access at my uncles' house. And man, how did we EVER live with that as a Internet option? Just checking an email took forever. Hell, I think my cell phone is faster. And then I ended up at my parents for a day or so. Their computer is totally on the fritz and ranks somewhere in the neighborhood of #826 on the priority list these days to fix.

So, back in the saddle I get with an update on the last few days in my little red-head world.

What, ask the screaming masses ( I imagine you all as screaming when I don't post for a day or so), have you oh teller of the urban legend been up to?

Headed up to Cedar Falls on Friday after work for my great-Aunts' 80th birthday party. It turned into a pseudo-family reunion due to all the people that actually came up, out and over for it. The party wasn't until Saturday so Friday night was spent in avid dedication to the consumption of all things grape and fermented. And consume we did. In fine fashion. I believe the count the morning after was 9 bottles between roughly 4 people. Which, by my math, and the maths and I were never very tight - taps out at roughly 2.25 bottles per person.

Well played. Well played indeed.

Of course, I have a large family.

Irish.

Catholic.

Drunks by the above snippet.

All things point towards many members of the family. With large family comes the always entertaining family dynamic. There is the crazy uncle from Maine, who along with being socially inept, will talk in an affected Irish brogue every now and then. And he was born in Iowa. There is the uncle who divorced his wife of like, 30 years about 10 years ago and has remarried to a drunk. My parents in all their dysfunctional glory. My aunt who just wants to keep everyone happy. You see how this becomes fodder for the mill. Its like a bloggers dream.

So the stories of the weekend:

• Meghan competing with her mother on Saturday morning to see whose liver would fail first, hers or mine from all the stinking wine.


• The aforementioned drunk step-aunt (is that right?) who was blotto by noon on Saturday -- and we still had to go to the actual birthday party that they drove 700 miles for. She was drinking straight gin out of a water glass that I thought was -- drumroll, water. Seems I was quite wrong.


• The group effort to cook lobster when no one had ever done so. Even the crazy uncle who lives in MAINE was clueless. Although in all fairness, I don't think he can afford lobster in any fashion, even in Maine.

It was as always, a joy to behold and mentally file away. There are a few pics posted on the Flickr account. Link, as always, to the left.

My Aunt's birthday party was great. One of those deals where of the 120 people in the room, I was related to like, 80 of them. And for once, I don't think I was exaggerating.

Then there is the always uplifting mom update. She came up on Thursday so she would have Friday to recover before going to the party on Saturday. She did fairly well on the ride up. Or so I am told. Over the course of the weekend however, my dad and I noticed several things that caused us concerns. Things she was doing herself the week before all the sudden became an issue; showering, getting dressed and even eating. The other thing was her spatial relationship to things. She would poke her fork at something on her plate, but miss it by like 2". The straw that broke the proverbial camels back was on Sunday when she fell. She had been laying down taking a nap, apparently needed to use the bathroom, tried on her own and didn't make it. So after a few intense conversations we decided to call the hospice on Sunday and see if they would move her assessment up to Monday when we got home. I took a few days off work and drove down to KC with them on Monday. Met with the nurse as a family. She was amazing. Really amazing. We now have a hospital bed in the living room and someone will be stopping by daily. I am not sure she is "really" that bad -- all things considered. But she clearly needs 24/7 care and we needed the help.

The gut punch of the weekend was Monday -- which was Patrick's birthday. We are sitting there going through all the hoops with the nurse. At one point, she is talking to my mom and asks her "Susan, is there anything I can do for you at this point?" My mom looks at her and says, "Make it go away" - the nurse replies, "The pain?" To which my mother said, "No, the cancer"

Queue the tears and a sobbing we will go. Lost it on that one.

So into this new phase we go. Somewhat ambivalent, a little scared and didn't think we would be here this quickly. But we are, so deal with it we must.

Sounds very Yoda-esque doesn't it?

Oh, and my parents insane friends built a ramp to our front door while we were gone and cleaned the ever-loving crap out of the house.

So there it is kids. Your update for the day. Enjoy. Ponder.

Now Listening: Passive Aggressive by Nicola Hitchcock