Monday, December 22, 2003

Whose life is this anyway?

So Friday comes along, supposed to be getting out of
work no later than 4, so i can run home, throw some
clothes in a bag, feed the munchkins and be on the
road.
at 4:30 i am still sitting in my VP's office, with my
CIO on the phone working through a customer issue.
so, i got a late start.
get home, can't find any of the clothes that i want to
take with me, just start throwing crap into my bag,
put out some extra water and food and then, bam
landed right in the middle of des moines flee to the
suburbs...also known as rush hour, but i can't really
justify rush hour in des moines.
so i get to omaha at 7:30.
freshen up, still in work clothes, and head out to the
party. which was pretty good. saw some family, bunch
of old friends and had a few drinks.
then my cousin and his girlfriend (and by all accounts
soon to be fiancee) get into a heated battle. complete
with storming out, etc. keep in mind, this is their
party they are hosting and dan (my cousin) has earned
this whole thing. along with his brother who was
getting his MBA.
not really a mature thing to do in my opinion.
and that was right after i found out one of my other
friends was getting a divorce, which sent me down this
path of trying to figure out how on earth you are
supposed to have confidence in your relationships.
this of course, caused me to wonder if this is why i
have shied away from all this for so long.
of course, after a few drinks you really should not
try to analyze stuff like this.

so we closed the bar, i went home and failed to sleep
in past 9 am... like usual.

met up with the fam' for lunch, did a little (and i
mean LITTLE) shopping. and then was set to head home.
nope, got talked into staying and seeing Return of the
King.
which rocked.
alot.
i loved it.
alot.

so got up early to get a start on the day, rolled back
into town about 11ish...
where i proceeded to do 6 loads of laundry, clean the
basement (aka the kitty bathroom) and get all my
presents wrapped.
tonight, i have 3 more loads to finish and my floors
to clean.
did i mention my mother will be here tomorrow night?
i always swore that i would NEVER do all the things
she did when her mother was coming for a visit.
yeah... at 12, you should never really say NEVER.

so my parents and my sisters are invading tomorrow
night...at some point. and then i am working until
lunch on the 24th and off to Cedar Falls. and i still
have nothing for my grandmother...what on earth do you
get a 87 year old woman who in true irish fashion,
wants nothing more than to die so she can be with my
grandfather? did i mention she has a bit of a martyr
complex? actually, she has elevated it to a legitimate
gift.

um, whose life is this?
certainly not mine, as i currently have no control
over it.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

been awhile

things have been pretty busy lately. the holiday season is in full effect. at least at my house. i bought the tree, decorated and have not done much else.
i spent saturday christmas shopping. i think that might have been one of the stupidest moves i have ever made, christmas shopping on a SATURDAY, 2 weeks before the big holiday. on the upside, i did get a fair amount of shopping done. well, at least for the family. friends are going to wait till after christmas. doesn't really seem fair...but i am running out of time and have no idea where to start for most of them.

news flash: i went out on a date this weekend.
kinda odd.
ok, really odd. not that he was odd or anything, but the whole idea of going on a date is the odd part.
so we did the norm (at least what i remember to be the norm) went to dinner and then went and watched a band. had a great time, nice enough guy, but i didn't get any real, and i hate to say thing as it is SOO cliche, spark from the whole thing. i mean, there was never a lag in coversation, and the whole "tell me your story" gig was actually pretty interesting, but at no point did i get the, wow feeling.
i could totally see myself hanging out with him, but not really getting the whole romantic vibe from him.
not sure how i am going to handle that one. i do have an out, he is traveling this week for work, i am out of town this weekend and then it is christmas and i am out of town for that. not going for avoidance here, but trying to determine the best way to break the news.

not to mention that work is crazy insane. things have moved into overdrive and they look like they are not going to stop for awhile. not that work should ever be an excuse, but i am going to be pretty busy for awhile.
lame reason i know.

aside from that, not much else going on. so i am out. more to come later.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

sick and turkey

so i spent the 5 days prior to turkey day sick.
fever, chills, what felt like a 50lb boulder on my chest.
it has been a LONG time since i have been sick like that. and to make matters worse, it incited in me a pity party the likes i have not seen in awhile.
all i wanted was someone to take care of me in my infirmary. even with the nasty breath, the greasy hair and the snotty kleenex floating around. i mean it would have to be someone who really loved me to hang out with me in those conditions.
but still, being sick and being single blows.
so i was still raspy and less than healthy for turkey day. but we still managed to have a good time. small crowd for our family this year, but all in all, a satisfactory holiday.
i was able to remind myself never to go shopping with my mother... EVER. she is off the hook with that crap. i thought a few hours, and no worries.
wrong answer.
we spent 7 hours wandering from shop to shop.
i think chinese water torture is less painful than that.
anyway, lots to chat about but i should get to work.
later.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

average jane

i love Average Joe.
I can't help it. it is my one guilty-reality pleasure this viewing season.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

afternoon naps are good

so i have returned from my foray into the nations capital. seems these days i am always "returning" from somewhere. trip was really good. here is what we managed to get done:
1. found julie's dress
2. agreed on bridesmaid dresses
3. met with 2 cake people and picked one.
4. met with events planner at the ceremony/reception site to work out some logistics
5. began looking at flowers.
what you don't realize is that it is only 5 things, but they were some big steps. should leave julie in a pretty good place for moving into the holidays and not having to deal with holiday stress and wedding planning. she can claim a moritorium on planning until after new years.

i would like to caveat that dress shopping is exhausting and i got really used to a nap in the late afternoon to get me through the day.

also in true style, julie and kicked back a pitcher of margaritas, and 2 bottles of wine on our first night there.
we rock.

i also had a chance to go to a moroccan resturant while there. cool gig. great food. all family style and with your hands. it helps to not get too wigged out over germs, etc in an enviroment like that. and they had a bellydancer. she was amazing. i took some bellydancing classes last winter and it is hard. to watch this woman move was simply fantastic.

what else? saw my other sister that lives in virginia. she is good. she has some growing up to do. i mean she has come a long way since she moved out there, but she is a few real-world slaps upside the head from being all the way there. she needs time. and it is a slow transformation, but man. one day and night was about all i could handle. plus she is not a big, sit at the bar with some friends and hang out kinda girl. she would much rather be in a club...but a little change of scenery never did anyone any harm.

so now, back to work. i had a 8am meeting today, so i am going to bail out of here at 4:15..

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

i have the best friends...

amazing.
truly amazing.
julie calls me and won't take no for an answer. she and scott have a voucher to cover about 1/2 the fare and they want to buy the rest...
i am truly, truly lucky to have such generous people in my life.
so-- i am going to DC.

feel like crap

ok- i am a horrible, lousy friend.
i have been planning this trip to DC to do wedding stuff with julie for about a month.
with all the insanity the last few weeks, i have been waiting to buy the tickets, etc.
now, i got paid, paid bills and oh-- i have no $$ for the trip. somewhere along the lines, i spent $300 in omaha the weekend of my grandpa's funeral. not sure how that happened.
bottom line is i can't go to dc and i feel like the biggest loser on the planet.
i jmean she maid appt. to see people and try on dresses and what do i do"? back out.
after all the math last night, and feeling like total crap about it, i woke up with a big ole' cold sore on my lip today. which is awesome. it feels great and looks terrifc.
actually, it is probably what i deserve for not planning a little better...at least with the $$. If i could find a way to swing the airfare, i could do it..but i can't seem to work that out in my head. short of asking someone to pay for the ticket and i can pay them back ...which is not going to happen.
ironically, i just checked expedia. even today i could get a flight for $250...how is it that i don't have $250 to spare? because between 2 trips to omaha, a trip home and a trip to chicago in the last month i have dropped about $1200. that kinda killed the travel budget for a little while.

i suck.

Monday, November 03, 2003

i would have skipped class

picture this...
in a dim bedroom on a monday morning, a woman sleeps soundly in her large, pillow topped, down-comforted bed.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP

the evil alarm goes off to remind the young woman of her obligation to get up and go to work for the man.

she groggily hits snooze, lays down and glances out her window.
rainy
dark
wind
cold
monday morning

she realizes had this been a monday about 6 years ago, she would have skipped class.
she then contemplates calling in sick and sleeping the day away.
of course the reality of the situation kicks in and after about the 3rd snooze attempt, she drags her butt out of the warm womb of her bed and faces the day.

and that is your monday morning fairy tale..
cinderella eat your heart out.

Friday, October 31, 2003

it's halloween

news flash: today is halloween.
i know that seems like a somewhat stupid comment to make, but i direct this comment to everyone who lives in the des moines metro area (note: des moines does not have a real metro, but work with me)

here is the deal. in des moines they do not have halloween. they have "beggars night"
the night BEFORE halloween is when all the kids go trick or treating.
this is one of those things that even homer simpson cannot understand.
the theory is that older kids get too out of control and jeopordize the little munchkins running around looking for candy.
personally, i don't see the difference.
however, i forgot about this silly tradition here. i thought i was in the clear, my good friend nate's birthday is today (Happy Birthday) and we are going out for that, so no need for candy at the house.

please understand that i did trick or treat as a child and had a great time. and if it was not on a friday night i would have had something to hand out.
but until i got home last night, i had spaced the beggars night thing. so i park my car and there are kids everywhere.
here is the dilemma for those of you in the back row:
i had no candy.
so i was forced into 2 options.
1. go to the grocery store and buy whatever candy was left ( the crappy stuff)
2. turn off the porch light and pray that they skipped the house.

now, what is worse? being the house that gives out the crappy candy, or the house that gives out no candy?

i opted for no candy.
lazy: yes
selfish: uh-huh
cruel to little childern: possibly

neccessary? you bet.

and to make matters worse, i have a costume party tomorrow night and well, no costume.
i should get on that.
creative juices just not flowing. so i will probably go as something predictable. in all fairness though, i can have a great time at a party in a lame costume or a cool one. doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

back to reality

welcome to my whirlwind life.
it has been forever since i have written anything. actually not that long, but given everything that has gone down in the last 2.5 weeks it certainly seems like a lifetime.
so the weekend after my brother left, i went with my friend heather to chicago. we hung out with rugby players.
they are insane.
and they have no problems being naked around perfect strangers.
and they drink... a lot. a lot.

but had a great time. would totally do it again.

and then i thought, great weekend to chill out and do nothing.
wrong.
my grandfather passed away last week. so i spent thursday and friday running around getting ready and heading to omaha for all the funeral goodness.
actually there is very little goodness in a funeral. at least for me.
on the upside, saw some family memebers that i had not seen in years. had a great time with my family.
one thing about a large, irish, catholic funeral. if you aren't crying you are laughing your ass off.
but watching my dad finally breakdown and just sob was a little more than i was prepared for.
that and all my cousins, who are my age, lined up as pall bearers doing the same.
pretty freakin' emotional weekend. but i did get to see my grandpa a few weeks back when i was in omaha, so at least i had that.
relief actually.
that and my family can kick back some serious alcohol. i mean, they can drink. people were showing up with some sort of funeral food and either a 24 pack of beer or a bottle of something.
it was an exhausting few days.
glad to be home. playing catch up at work sucks.
and then next week, off to washington dc.
ah, my rock star life style.
hardly.

oh- and total weirdness, get an email from the ex boyfriend while i am in omaha. of course, i had not heard from him in oh...a year and a half. we have been broken up for almost 3 years and have not talked since i left his appartment that day. we have emailed a few times, but this was random. so i sent back a short note congratulating him (he got a new job) and just said things were good with me, hope they were with him and have a good holiday season.

he writes back and tells me he will be coming through town soon and maybe we should meet up and catch up.

um, WTF?
you are kidding right?
suffice it to say, i have not written back to that offer yet.

ugh-- holy insanity.
so i am getting a massage tomorrow. i am sure my masuese will find some knots the size of boulders on my back and shoulders.

Monday, October 13, 2003

bon voyage

patrick is in germany.
seems odd.
saw him off yesterday. my mom was not as bad as i thought she would be. although she did make us wait until he boarded the plane. KCI has the type of set up where even though you can't get into the gate area due to security, you can see it. so we watched through the glass as patrick sat there.
kinda torture really, but in situations like that, you humor your mom.
pretty emotional weekend for everyone. relived that it is over. but now, who knows what will happen...patrick is not due for iraq until about april (at least that is what he was told) so maybe in 6 months everything will be better.
not counting on it.

i have been having some messed up dreams lately. now, the weird thing is i never remember my dreams. i think these are happening between the time when my alarm goes off and i actually get out of bed. this can take up to 30-40 minutes, so it is entirely possible that i am dreaming and remembering them. but what i do recall is fairly vague, but pretty odd. i think my subconscious needs some cleaning or something.
suggestions are welcome.

happy birthday to my mom.
we sorta celebrated this weekend, but got mixed in with all the going away stuff. how's that for a birthday celebration...send your kid off to the military.
but she is doing well and you would never guess her age if you saw her.

so home this weekend as i have mentioned like 80x already, and my mom made me start going through some of my old stuff. notes from middle school, random high school pics and even some stuff from college. made me laugh. the stupid crap we used to get worked up about.

wait,
we are still getting worked up about stupid crap, except now people are married, living together or something like that instead of "going together". and instead of notes in between class it is emails back and forth.
we have just up'd the ante it seems.
i knew i hadn't grown up too much.
hah!



Tuesday, October 07, 2003

election day

ok i understand that california is the most populated state in the union. but do we really CARE if the govenor gets recalled or not?
i don't. now, if i was a tax paying resident of the state, different story...but come on. an actor is running, big deal.
i am just tired off all the inane press and will be more than happy when it gets done.

i hate money.
well, let me rephrase that. i hate not having money. that old adage, when you make more you spend more...it is true. i can't tell you how or why, but i never seem to have enough. and just when i get everything undercontrol... BAM! some odd and normally expensive thing happens that requires more money.
i need to win the lottery. that will solve ALL my problems.
yeah, and i have some swampland for sale as well.

so miracle of miracles...the cubs won. now, i am not a die-hard baseball fan. can't stand watching the games on TV, enjoy going to them live. my grandfather on the other hand, lived and died for that team. what really sucks is the year that he passed away was the year of the baseball strike. not that the cubs had a chance in hell of making it that year, but the one thing that he really loved was not around to watch.
plus he was not 100 years old so he never saw them in the playoffs either. i am following the games for him. he would be thrilled.
and in other baseball news.
my great friend julie's red sox's won a thriller last night. which means her red sox and her fiancees yankees will be facing each other. things could get pretty exciting in that house for the series, trust me.
if we have a cubbies/red sox world series, i am not sure what i would do.
time will tell.
enough on the sports ....

i need a change of scenery. not sure where, but it needs to be soon.
i am heading to DC in a month to do wedding dress/bridesmaid dress shopping. which means i have a month to lose 15 pounds.
i am NOT going to be the "chubby" bridesmaid.
and i am totally looking forward to that trip, but i want to go somewhere i haven't been.
for a long time
and then find a sugar daddy that will keep me in a style to which i could grow accustomed.
right.
kidding of course.
i do need something new though.

i think that is all for today.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

fall has fallen

so it is official...at least i have made it official. summer is over. i can't really say i am too broken up about that fact. big fan of fall. can't explain it, but always been a favorite of mine.
i am about to launch into one of my bigger birthday months. October is one of those times, bunch of valentines day babies. six people this month alone. i need to get cards etc, lined up and ready to go for everyone. and then all my weekends this month are taken. i don't know where my time has gone, but i am looking at the weekend before thanksgiving as the first one i have open.
um, hello...where did this burst of social activity come from? i can't explain it. just works out that way. not that i am complaining.

had a kinda weird thing go down this week. looking at some pictures from my holiday party last december. i was almost sad to see, so many friends and there are now 4 or 5 people that are not talking to each other. most of them have to do with one person. i felt like my family had broken apart, and in a sense it has. my friends are my just like my family and when things happen that keep them from all being together and getting along, it really sucks. i still have good realtionships with all these people, but it seems now, every time i make plans or want to get a group together i have to consider who is talking to who, etc.
bites ass.
i guess this is life. no one ever said it was perfect.


on a lighter note, i am totally, completely, unabashadly addicted to www.homestarrunner.com
thanks again to my good friend tom for creating hours of -non-working fun for myself and klas. we trade quotes via chat all day long. and yes, we are geeks.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

blogitty, blog, blog, blog

i'm pooped.
i have been playing a little hard the last few days. and i think it might be catching up to me. i am getting old.
gack.
so i am going to see damien rice in MPLS tomorrow night. i can't wait.
should be a great show. only $15. i remember when other bands i really like used to only charge $15 for a show.
good times.

that is really all i have today.
really short, but just not feeling too social.

Friday, September 19, 2003

thanks tom for the time waster

check it out.
www.homestarrrunner.com
my dear friend tom, also known in some circles as my future sugar daddy or the "default", oops, that is me...sent me this link.
now thomas p is in graduate school preparing for a life of fuel cells and all sorts of engineering fun. so he sends this link to myself and a few other like-minded friends with the note of "something to do when you are bored at work"
now, i adore tom. he is brillant and works really hard at what he does. however, when i chatted him yesterday he had just gotten up. this was about, oh...11 am ish.
so i can't feel too bad for him.
so i check out this website.
i laughed so hard i almost peed myself.
now here is the kicker. checking out crazy flash sites at work is about as frowned upon as blogging at work...seems i have no problem with either.
but i have this loud, deep laugh. so the guys around me are fairly sure i am losing it as i am watching some of the shorts on the site.
yeah, not cool.
because me being me, can't just watch one and go back to work, oh nooooo...
i have to watch like 10 of them.
have i ever mentioned that addictive personality of mine?

but, check it out. good stuff. worth a laugh or two and will make the day move a little faster when the motivation is lacking.

so i met with this woman about job possibilitites in other cities.
it is a consulting company, so i would be back to that gig. which i have no problem with.
but as of today, the only place that she could move me within the next 6 months would be minneapolis.
now, i have nothing against MPLS. i always have a good time there. but i really wanted coastal and i have never been there and had the "cool city, i could live here vibe". of course, i currently live in des moines.
so there is all the perspective i really need. but if i am going to move, i want it to be somewhere i really want to be.
and winters are colder there than they are here.

so that is that.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

it's official, my family is insane

i spent the weekend with the family, minus one of my sisters who could not make it.
it was block party time on daisy street.
allow me to explain.
once a year, the block that my parents live on throw a "block party". as our house is located in the middle of the block, the majority of the party action takes place on our drive way.
my parents and a core group of neighbors have been doing this for something like 17 years.
as the kids of the neighborhood have gotten older, the craziness seems to mulitply.
so they get a keg of beer and we still end up making a $150 alcohol run so i can make margarita's, long islands, tom collins and of course, red-headed sluts. That is of course the shot, not my $19.99 two day course...
then my mother turns on the rap cd's and the dancing starts.
i am not making this up. friends of kids on the block come with them and are in shock and awe for a good twenty mintues watching my mother's rendention of "back that ass up" while my father oogles her. and she knows the words.
and they say the american family is dead.
hah.
come on down to daisy street and we can prove otherwise.
as my neighbor said, and this is one of the kids i used to babysit, with tom collins in hand, "how many people do you know that would bring friends home to drink with their parents on the drive way?"
this steven, is a good point.
not many.


it was also my brothers triumphant return from basic training. he gets a few weeks off before shiping off to germany in preparation for iraq.
looks good. kid is a solid as they come. his waist is smaller than mine, which is not that impressive of a stat, but still. they beat some respect into him, which i think he needed and my father got almost teary-eyed telling us all about how proud of him he is, etc. patrick is one of those kids that everyone deemed a "troublemaker" so completing something like this and doing well is sorta like a big "i told you so". he will do great. i have total confidence in him. i can honestly say i am none too excitied about the iraq thing, but this is the choice he made. i just hope our beloved president pulls his head out of his ass before patrick ships out.
not too likely, but worth throwing it out there.

also spent some time with my sister courtney while i was there. hung out in the big city of KC and well, the end result was very similar to a night in Des Moines, had a few beers, got hit on by creepy 50 year olds and a midget or two and that was a wrap.
had a great time with the girls though. as long as we continue to make ourselves laugh, we will never have a bad time. plus the bartenders at the last bar we went to, loved us. we were highly entertaining enough for them to buy a few shots and a drink or two. always a good way to end a night.
and so wraps the big weekend at home.
clear your calendars for this time next year, the planning sessions for the next party are already scheduled. i will keep you posted as to when.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

pants-optional wednesday

so i have this pair of black pants that i wear
a lot.
actually, i have several pairs of black pants that i wear a lot.
in reality i just wear a lot of black.

but i digress.
i have cats. yes, that is plural and i do fully understand the reprecussions of mulitiple cat ownership as a single woman. the path towards spinster-hood and that "crazy-cat lady" name is getting clearer and clearer everyday.
but due to the aforementioned black-ness of my wardrobe and the frisky felines carousing my house, my black pants that i have on today are COVERED in cat hair.

but not for lack of trying and that is where my frustration kicks in...
here is a brief summary of my average cat-hair repelling activites:

-swiffer when i get home. i have hardwood floors and go through those things like nobody's business.
-the lint remover. one in the bathroom right after i get dressed, one more time as i am feeding the little psychos before i leave and again when i get to the office. i should own stock in the company. and yes, that is with 3 seperate rollers.
-i keep blankets on my couch where naps are most likely to happen. i clean them once a week.
-2-3 times a week i take the little monsters out on the porch (where they proceed to freak out) and brush them. in the winter, i do it inside.

so keeping all this in mind, i still have pants that are covered in cat hair.
this leads me to the following revalation: i should either shave my cats, stop wearing so much black or simply accept it and move on.
i am going to try for dealing with it and moving the hell on.

i would also like to report that i left my motivation somewhere in the sub-flooring of my house today. i think it might have something to do with the fact that i have a dentist appt. this afternoon.
cavity fill.
2 of them
at the same time.

this would be the anti-hotness.
i am not sure which part i love better..
the feeling that my lower jaw is 5 times its normal size even though i can't technically feel anything due to the novacain
or the pounding headache that i will have for the rest of the evening courtesy of the drill that will be shoved into my mouth.
how is a girl to choose?

i applied for a job in london.
super long shot that anything will come of it, but what the hell? might was well see what happens.
anything for the off chance to get out of des moines. this is the one thing that i am not sure about. in all the job listings for the UK they either have an annual salary...or just Ł300. now, is that 300 a week? every two weeks? a month? what gives? not that all of them have a set salary of Ł300, that of course varies. my concern is how often you get that money. i am not that money hungry, but these are things that are helpful to know.

i will keep everyone posted as to my working oversees progress.
not holding my breath.




Friday, August 29, 2003

long weekend

nothing like a free day off.
not that today is that day, but monday will be.
in the true corporate american spirit, i will be trying to get out of here early today.

happy birthday julie.
i went a little crazy with the e-cards yesterday. i can't help it. virtual or actual, i can spend an hour in the card aisle.
i laugh out loud and then walk out with like 10 cards.
i came in for one.
this is one of those things that my mother does. she always has a stack of cards for just about any occasion, just sitting around the house.
for those moments in which the "oh shit, i forgot....insert holiday/special occasion" reaction kicks in, she always has them around.
well, i am getting there.

so that is about it for today.
wanted to have big, fun plans for this weekend,but looking like i am chilling right here in beautiful, metro des moines.
yipee.
should anything exciting happen, i will let you know.

don't hold your breath.


Thursday, August 21, 2003

fried on a stick

car problems suck.
there is a shocker.
battery died on me this week. really not a big deal. however, it gets covered by my warranty, so i am not going to go out and buy one from sears or something. the catch is the dealer could not get me in until today...car bit it on monday.
you fail to realize how dependent you are on quick and reliable transportation.
that and i have been walking to work everyday.
now, i walked all over europe when i lived there. no big deal. you would think based on peoples reaction that walking to work was some sort of capital punishment.
perspective: it is roughly 10 blocks. we are talking 15-20 minutes tops.
people in america don't walk anywhere.
scratch that. people in IOWA don't walk anywhere. they drive 2 block to the 7-11.
now, it has been upwards of 95 degrees the last few days, so even at 7:45/8 ish it is pretty warm. but still.
i guess i never considered walking that controversial.
in some circles, it appears it is.

what else is new...?

i broke down.
moment of weakness.

i went to the iowa state fair.
perspective for non-iowans: the fair is a big deal. a REALLY big deal. over 100,000 people PER day show up. it is the largest state fair in the country. you can find a fried twinkie on a stick there.
so, after weathering 3 years of shocked faces "you've NEVER been to the fair!!!! how is that possible??" i broke down.
i went.
there is so much food you would not believe it. and it is all on a stick.
cheescake on a stick
pork chop on a stick
fried macaroni and cheese ON A STICK
fried oreos & fried snickers ON A STICK
perhaps you are picking up on a theme here... hint: fried & stick.

i saw a pig that weighed 1100 pounds.
his balls were bigger than my head.
his name was pepperoni.
i think the irony was lost on him.

i saw every form of individual style you could think of.
of course, i was blending. practiced my top of the line WT look, complete with wife-beater and the cowboy hat.
this is an insane thing to witness first hand.
you have to see it to believe it.
trust me.
no amount of prepping could really convey the true feel of the place.

so after that little bout of culture shock, i have returned to the normal world with no visable scars.
i made it.
a return visit next year is still undecided.

on a slightly more accelerated cultural note, damien rice. the album is "O".
buy it.
listen to it immediately.
listen to it again.
you will be hooked.




Wednesday, August 13, 2003

crap... does this mean i am an adult?

the day you realize that your relationship with your parents is no longer "parent /kid" but "adult/adult" is an odd one.
I actually had a conversation with my mother the other day in which we discussed her relationship with my dad. and somehow i ended up giving her advice. of course, i always caveat that type of conversation with the disclaimer of "i am single, so take this with a grain of salt"
mother or not.

still really weird.
learned some things that i never knew about. and in all fairness kids should not have to deal with or know about. it really brought home to me the fact that while they were trying to raise kids, maintain careers etc, they still had a realtionship to tend to as well.
i struggle enough with just the relationship aspect. i cannot imagine making all that other stuff work. but it does, daily for countless people i know.
i guess it provided a little insight.

don't really have much else to add at this point.
vacation was good, just not looking to go into all the details at this point. there was the usual drama and mechanical problems.
i have decided that will be my last trip with a group. it just gets too difficult to keep everyone happy and still have a good time. i have done 2 this year and both had their fair share of difficulty. from here on out, 4 people or less. that is my new limit.

having officially declared myself in a funk, i am going to go home, swiffer the floors, and assume the position on my couch.
i should do laundry.
i don't see it happening.

domestic goddess is not a moniker i strive to achieve.


Thursday, July 31, 2003

crazy week.
layoffs.
i have somehow for the 2nd time managed to avoid the chopping block.
so, i get to continue to come to work everyday..unlike about half of my department.

of course now we are all in this frenzied mode of figuring out who is going to do what, when etc.

these types of things always force your hand a little. one of those times you just have to think long and hard about what it is you are doing, where you want to be, stuff like that.
the bitch is that the ecomony is not very forgiving if i come to any conclusions that this is not where i want to be, want to be doing and so on.
ironically, i had just updated my resume on monster last weekend. this was out of the blue, so the timing seems somewhat ironic, almost pre-determined.
time will tell. i will keep doing my job the best i can, and if i get the axe, well i go have a few drinks(quite possibly more than a few) and the next morning, slightly groggy, i begin to figure out what i am doing.
no need to panic yet.

Read Still Life With Woodpecker.
it asks the right questions. not where are the weapons of mass destruction? but questions that count in our day to day existence. what makes love stay? what happened to the golden ball?
read it.
you won't be dissapointed and you might be enlightened.
yum.

Friday, July 25, 2003

some things i think i know...
almost a top 10 but not really.

1. getting a massage once a month, while great, is not nearly frequently enough.
2. cats will always, no matter what they are doing, find you the minute you open a magazine, newspaper or book and sit right on it.
3. i can ask for a beer in close to 10 languages.
4. my mother always calls on saturdays right as i am sitting down with a plate of hot pancakes. they are never hot when we are done talking.
5. i have my grandmothers laugh.
6. i think perfectionists and procrastinators are very close to being one in the same.
7. i should travel more.
8. as much as i tried to avoid it, i find myself saying/doing things like my parents.
9. adultswim on cartoon network has to be one of the funniest things on tv.
10. i can quote WAY too many movies verbatim from the 80's (thank you john hughes)
11. i sing as loud as i can in my car and the shower, i should not sing anywhere else.
12. chunky shoes not withstanding, i am short.
13. i should own a motorcycle.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

i have decided to take on a new hobby.
i am going to learn how to create web sites. not a big deal.
web designers are all around, this i know. but i want my own site and i want it to be reflective of what i want, not some canned format... no offense to the lovely folks at blogger.com that make this all possible.
so this weekend i am begining.
i will keep my progress here.

also i wanted to take this opportunity to share with you a cultural phenomena that i witnessed first hand last night.
having seen a few legitimate cultural phemomena, i think it is fair to say this one ranks up there.
granted this is not like a running of the bulls type thing, but has its place in iowa.

so sunday was the kick-off day for RAGBRAI (Registers Annual Great Bike Race Across Iowa)
One: the Register is the Des Moines Register...local daily paper
Two: I have been informed that the acronym sucks. well, i had little, scratch that, NO imputs when it was decided some 20 odd years ago.

so here is the deal. every summer at the end of july people from all over the states (and a few from other countries as well) start at the west side of this lovely midwestern state and bike to the other side. 7 days total on a predetermined route. which is varied from year to year.
so a few of my motivated friends decided to give it a shot this year. i have now been enlightened to the fact (and i don't think i am revealing any real secrets here) that this week is more about partying and drinking than biking.
which leads me to my phenomena....
last night drove down to the town that was closest on the route to des moines and met up with my friends.
we hung out on the bus (the support vehicle, support of course means mobile bar) which was eerily reminescent of some bad college parties, complete with the busch light in a can and a lingering stench of old socks and then made our way down to the beer garden the local town folk had put up in the town square...and yes, they had a bandstand and everything, this is small town iowa we are talking about.
so every one that rides, does so with a team. the teams have names, logos, t-shirts, hats...your basic marketing wear.
they also get stickers made.
and here is where it gets interesting.
they take rolls of stickers with their team name and logo on it, and peruse the crowds at the beer garden for members of the opposite sex in which to plant them on.
nothing out of the ordinary there.
except, your goal is to get as many, in as many places as you can.
i watched a group of men (more than likely professional in their "real" lives) circle around a girl (and this was not just one instance, they did it a few times) grab her around the waist, turn her upside down and using a sticker that was being sucked against their lips plant them all over her butt.
good times.

crazy really. i suppose this is the nearest these guys will ever get to some sort of girls gone wildtype activity. not that i condone any of it, but i thought i would log it here for everymore recorded.
like i said, cultural phenomena. there is no rule that says you have to like/appreciate them. but you do have to at least think about it.

i might start a whole seperate blog on the events like this. Meghans Cultural Phenomena. of course it would be somewhat limited and may not hold a captive audience for those outside the midwest...who knows? i will record them when i see them. if volumes are sufficient, maybe then.
that is all for today from my little corner of the world.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

gorgeous day here in lovely iowa.
nice change of pace from the humidty that seems to follow you everywhere and stick to your skin better than a band-aid.
ideal day to play hooky.
just need some willing accomplices and everyone is being a responsible adult for some reason.
whatever.

i need a vacation.
my attention to detail has suffered and dragging myself out of bed in the morning has become a cosmic battle. with the cosmos coming dangerously close to winning on several occasions.
last year i took a whole week and camped my pale ass on the beach.
for those of you who have not been, check out Dewey Beach in Delware. well worth the trek. spring break for the 25-35 crowd.
i was not pale when i left...not tan, more of a lobster red. but, did the trick. no meetings, no voicemail, no email...nuttin'.
loved it.

this year, alas, no beach for me.

which brings me to my "needing a vacation" comment.
i need one.
however, not thinking i am going to get one this year.
sucks.
that is what happens when you start a new job...vacation takes the hit.
plus at my last job, overtime could be applied to vacation time. here, nothing. if i could use my overtime for vacation, i would have a month of it at this point.

so instead, i take a 3 day weekend here, a 3 day weekend there.
not the worst way to use vacation time, but not the same.

went to omaha this weekend.
city gets a bad rap. i lived there for 7 years (4 of which were in school) and it really is not that bad. especially in the summer.
saw a bunch of old friends. shocks me some times. not that i am tripping the life fantastic, or the rock style lifestyle by any means. but i still go out and have fun. of course most of my friends are single. most of my friends that i used to run with are all married and domestic and stuff.
if they are happy, then no big deal. i just still enjoy going out and being social.
although while there i had this horrible feeling that i was going to run into my ex. i have not seen him or spoken to him for that matter, since we broke up 2.5 years ago. the thought of seeing him kinda freaked me out. it is really easy to work through a break up and who you are when you don't have to worry about running into them at the grocery store or the bar/restuarant that you like to hang out in.
but, chalk that one up to meghan's flair for drama or her tendency to think too hard about some things. not a single glimpse of him all weekend.


so for kicks the other night i was checking out the local singles on match.com. one of those pop-ups while browsing got the best of me. damn marketing people.
anyhew...kinda funny. some people take that stuff seriously, others have a bit more tongue in cheek attitude about the whole thing.
can't really say that i found prince charming among the lot. although a blurry digital photo and some self-deprecating single paragraph on what you want out of a relationship are hardly worthy for quick judgement.
i don't think i could ever go that route. i kinda suck at the dating/small talk crap and that is how all those deals have to start. at least i think that is how they start.
of course, i still reserve the right to lament the lack of quality men in the des moines greater metro area.
although, one of the last holdouts in the dating game has been hooked. my great neighbor kim who is always available to go grab a beer or two and bitch about life with has met a boy. at a bar. at the same bar that my now ex-roomie met her fiancee.
doesn't that mean i am due?
really, he is a good guy. kim deserves it.

on a closing note as i have been all over the charts today, i have begun re-reading "still life with woodpecker" by tom robbins. for those of you that have not had the pleasure of mr. robbins prose, i highly suggest any of his books. i am partial to this one as it was the first of his i read, and has an amusing theory on redheads.
go to your local library (not the local college bar, not barnes and noble, the place where you get books to read for free) and check out a copy.
well worth the time.
who knows, maybe my outlaw bomber is out there after all...
a girl can dream.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

do you ever have one of those days where your mind is moving in roughly 10 million directions and you can't seem to get a handle on any of it?
one of those days.

been doing a lot of thinking lately. could be from the fact that i know have a rather empty house. which is odd. i have more crap than i care to think about, yet the house seems strangely empty. i guess i knew all along that the roomie's stuff was hers. no question there. it just seems like it was more a home with all of our stuff all over. i know, i know, rather cheesy, smarmy comment. but that is life on occasion. so now i am in a position where i am trying to make it home again and still look for a roommate. of course, when new roomie moves in, the whole "home" concept gets re-arranged all over again.
vicious circle.

so back to my recent bought of pensive-ness.
work has been kicking my butt. late nights, lots to do. however, my boss and i might just kill each other. actually he is not technically my boss. which is a good thing, as my rather short irish temper seems to kick into over drive whenever we have the slightest disagreement. but i get the feeling that i am picking up a lot of his slack in addition to my own. hoping things will calm down on monday after we get this major project done.
i for one will be much happier.

but work is not really what i have been thinking about, short of finding a new job in a bigger city. constant effort on my part. just hard to convince people to move you half way across the country. i will get there.

no, just kinda trying to figure out where i want to be (more spiritually/emotionally etc) with my life. first thing that i need to do is work on the physical.
gack.
but i have to do something. that much i know. looking into a yoga program.

on the upside, have some fun planned before too long. going to sturgis this year (again) for some fun with motorcycles. we are actaully looking into creating our own line of gear. specifically for the chick on the back.
you can check it out at www.seatcandy.com
so that is coming up. as long as the weather holds out, we will have a great time.
and i am planning a trip to chicago for a few days. always manage some good clean fun in the windy city...right.
and will be back in DC sometime this fall (sept/oct)
so, now that everyone has my itenirary..on with the rants.

blah
blork
gack
ick
pphshsspt

i think i should go home. except it is 3 pm...would have to sneak out WAY under the radar. not sure how to make that happen.
i will keep you posted.
i should go. in theory they pay me to work, not blog.

Friday, June 27, 2003

so i had a grown up moment this week.
chalk it up to being a little bit older. or a wild hair up my ass.
take your pick.

basically, i went out on a limb and let this guy know that i liked him, thought we should hang out a little more and whatever happened, happened.
and i was then informed that he did not feel like he had the time to give right now and was not looking to date anyone.

in all fairness, he did have the decency to tell me that to my face, rather than via email, chat or some other less personal, but far more comfortable medium.

glad i did it. i am known for saying what is on my mind. and 99.9 % of the time i do. except when it comes to the relationship thing.
might have something to do with the fact that i have not been in a relationship in like 3 years, but that is another entry.
so i decided, screw it. let's throw this out there and see what happens.
now, i am not faced with the "what if" game or my bad habit of over-analyzing something to death.
cathartic really.
of course now, i have sworn off men.

don't get me wrong. i was not looking for a relationship. right now i am happy living my life the way i am. well, most days anyway. i don't feel like i need to have someone in my life to make it more fulfilling. but if the right person came along, i am not going to run screaming in the opposite direction of something like that.

i am going to rant a little about the overall interaction i seem to have with boys, guys, men whatever you call them.

i always get the feeling that i am merely a stop somewhere along the path to the "bbd" the bigger, better deal.
not that i don't consider myself worthy, but anyhew.

so the guys that i have an interest in, i get no where with and the ones that have an interest in me, just don't do it for me.
i am sure this is nothing new. in fact, i know that it is not a new phenomena.

i know that the grass is always greener, but i am convinced that des moines iowa is not the place for me. of course, i moved here on my own accord, and it has been good professionally.
personally, i have some great friends, but that is where it ends. not that i need more.

i am starting to wonder who i am trying to convince. myself or the millions who will never read this.

maybe this is some sort of cosmic wake up call to work on me for a little while. although i am not sure what that means and if i am ready to go delving into.
so, it is friday and i am going to leave work early and clean my house.
aah, avoidance. one of my favorite tactics.


Thursday, June 12, 2003

so it is my birthday.
and i am wearing some serious crabby pants today.
something inherently wrong with that.
i remember growing up i always assumed that 28 was so grown up and responsible. not that i am completely ir-responsible, but i wouldn't win any awards. I don't know. i wasn't sure where my life was supposed to take me, so i should not be so surprised that i am here. i still don't always know what i want out of life. i mean the usual, happiness, health, good friends. those are a given. although should NEVER be taken for granted. but what are the things that will give me that..job, relationship, self awareness???
still grappling with all that.
that and in the course of a week, my roomate and best friend from high school (the ONLY person from the hallowed halls of Lansing High that i still consider a friend) got engaged.
martial bliss galore.
blech.

don't get me wrong, i am not anti-marriage.
i would like to do someday myself. a fact that a number of people find surprising. i am just not looking to be married for married sakes. i would get married because i have found someone that i would committ the rest of my life to. someone who challenges me to be better than i am myself and i do the same for them.
it is just that we now enter the "bridesmaid zone"
it is a horrible place filled with pastel colors, stupid shower games, dresses that NEVER fit right and all kinds of girly things.
suffice it to say, i don't always enjoy my time here.
but in all fairness, it is supposed to be "their day", as it should.so, i will shut up and try and have as much fun with it as i can.


topping all this off, i am about to embark on a trip that could send me over the edge.
my sister is moving to virginia ( this is a good thing, a VERY good thing). however, she has to get her car out there, so my sister, my mother and myself are getting in the car in kansas, and not stopping until the DC/Virginia area.
any reports of a female going postal on family memebers in a neon should be disregarded as media exageration.
on the upside, my good friend, the aforementioned en-fianceed, lives in DC. So, i am taking a few extra days and going to chill with her in our nations capital.

maybe i will stop by george w's house and give him a piece of my mind.
ah, too predictable.
i will have to think of another way to let our decidely right-wing, anti-everything, war mongering goverment know how displeased i am with them.
suggestions are always welcome.
although, please don't write anything that could be picked up by our attorney general and land my butt at some federal facility.

ok, now i am really rambling. i should stop. especially since i am at work and using this as an avoidance technique. although anyone walking by only hears feverish typing which leads them to believe that i am working deligently.

i will leave you with this sage bit of advice that i firmly believe:
Spandex, it is a privilege, not a right.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

ok, ok, been REALLY bad about this. supposed to be something for me and yet i don't have time for it.
grr.
the last month was a bit of a roller coaster. brother graduates from high school (finally, long story) ships off 4 days later to basic training where he is cleaning latrines at 2:45 in the AM. and this is supposed to train our youth to be part of "the greatest military force in the world"?
uh huh.
can't really say too much about his decision as it was just that, his. not the path i would choose. but i wish him all the luck in the world.

sisters are another root cause for all the "drama" this month. money problems, reproductive problems, the stuff never stops. my bank account and my motorcycle fund took a massive hit this month.
the bank of meghan is now closed.

so i rewarded myself with a new tattoo for getting through all of it without losing my mind.
i am sure there are those of you that view that as somewhat masochistic.
bygones.
3 hours under the gun and a swollen foot for 3 days.
but, and i might be a little biased, it looks hot.
really, REALLY happy with the work. Dave Connor at Mid Air and Ink in our lovely Des Moines does some freakin' amazing work. he will get all my business for a long time.
plus, he kept me company the whole time. as did the stream of friends that showed up to cheer me on and otherwise distract me from the obvious.

here is my one pet peeve about people who DON'T have tattoos...."did it hurt?"
WTF?
did it hurt? a needle is repeatdly going into your skin, in the same place for an extended period of time...
do you THINK that hurts?
it is not like a searing pain, or a burn, but an almost good kind of irritation. however, after 3 hours, yes, it hurt like a bitch.

and then my roommate tells me she is moving in with her boyfriend.
love the place i live, don't want to move, can afford it on my own (will be a little tight if i do) and the idea of having a whole place to myself sounds cool.
but then the reality kicks in and so i have begun the roommate search. i hate it.
i have lived with the same person for 2 years. we get along, no major issues and we hang out together. now, starting all over.
gack.



Friday, May 09, 2003

i have decided the only thing that i love more than sleeping in clean sheets, is sleeping in clean sheets while it is raining outside.
that said, the constant deluge we have been going through for the last week is starting to wear on me.
i can almost imagine i live somewhere interesting, seattle, san fran, london..(insert rainy metro area here) but then i remember, nope. still iowa.
oh woe is me and my rainy environs.
really, if that is the worst thing in my life at the moment, then i should shut the hell up.
but they way things are going, a rainy day would be great.
seems the fates just want to kick me in the ass a little and remind me to not be too complacent about anything.
i think it is fair to say i got the message.

if anyone knows of any remote, pacific islands that are not occupied, minus a few natives and where i can get food/water drops on a weekly basis for free....
let me know.
i will be on a plane tomorrow.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

So-
This is my first time for one of these. Seems rather strange that I can ramble on and on, personal information, opinion, anything trapped in my brain and it is instantly avaiblable for anyone to see and pass judgement on.
Ah, this instant world we live in. Just add water and VIOLA! Anything your immediate gratification self could want/need.
But here I am anyway. Ranting aside.

So couple of things about this red head.
-to start with i am a horrible speller. seems ironic that i made it through 4 years of higher education pursuing a degree in english and history. i live for spell check.
that said, i will not be checking my rants here. i view this whole process as a rather stream of consciousness sort of thing. and i can assure you, in my brain, the spelling is right.
-the particulars about me: single, female, live in the midwest in a city that is really a large town, late 20's. that should paint enough of a picture for right now.
-i think for me this whole blogging thing will be rather theraputic. i haven't kept a journal or a diary in eons, but i often find myself needing to get things out of my brain and onto paper - real or virtual. and these days, it seems, my brain is chock full of crap that needs to be let out.
I will close with this today. do you ever feel like the life you are living is not your own? right now, i swear, i am somebody in the audience watching this all play out and not having any control over the outcome. (side note: i tend to exaggerate and am rather prone to the drama on occasion)
i suppose i should just chock it up to the rollercoaster called "this is your life" and accept that the next hill won't be as steep.
here's hoping.