Executive Decision

Now Playing: Jill Scott

So I made it back home without issue.
I put somewhere in the neighborhood of 800 miles on my car last week.
The Bug was worn out.
And dirty. Ick.

So had a full, but laid back weekend.
Did some shopping, caught a baseball game, grilled out.
All good things.

Even got a little color -- now a healthy shade of pink.
But still mostly white. This reality will never change.

On the online front, I committed.
Yes -- surprise, you didn't feel the earth move or anything.
Anyway, I signed up for 3 whole months of PerfectMatch.
As much as I hope John Cusak shows up, not holding my breath.

This should be fun. Offers up the best of both worlds... they bring the Thai food to you AND I can go driving around for my own dinner as well.
Translation: They match me with people and I can still man-shop.
So a whole new group of men are unwillingly about to become fodder for the Meghan machine.
Whee!!!
So, you shall have to stay tuned.
They make you answer all these questions and then come up with a "type"
I am ..... drum roll please
RBOV

Risk Taker, Relaxed, Optimistic, Seeks Variety
You take chances, believe in yourself and look for interesting life
experiences. You are most likely willing to throw yourself into a love
relationship in a big way, and you generally want someone who feels the same
way. You want someone who is willing to give the relationship the time and
priority that you believe in. This would be overkill to many RAOV's; probably
not a good choice for you.

Side note, RAOV = Risk Taker, High Energy, Optimistic, Seeks Variety
So, we shall see what winning four letter combo works for me.

Darwins Secret

Now Playing: Erykah Badu

I am still in Kansas.
It is sorta like a bad dream.
Working in the burbs' , commuting 40 minutes every day, driving 10 minutes to get a decent cup of coffee...
the list goes on.
I will not bore you with my less-than-rockstar lifestyle this week.

I should update with the latest and greatest on dating...
Franklin's suggestion to solve my dating woes: Move to Austin.
Apparently you can just pick eligible, intelligent, gentleman off the dusty plains of Texas.
I knew I was going about this all wrong...
Kidding Frankels ... it was a sincere offer. He told me if I came to visit, I can have a date every night I am there.
Natch.

Mom unit came home last night.
It was... Interesting.
We found out what has been causing her to be so loopy the last few days -- they have been feeding her valium like breath mints.
Seems it was part of her prescription history, so they figured -- dish em' out.
It is actually only used to help her relax when she has MRI's.
But lets hear it for the doping friendly staff at KU Med. It has made for some RANDOM comments out her mouth.
Also discovered that my parents house in no way shape or form is designed for people who are less than 100% mobile.
And re-enforced the fact that my parents dog -- well, my Mom's dog -- is insane.


But what has really caught my eye over the last few days is this billboard that I see every morning on the way to work.
Little background on this one...
I graduated from a Kansas school. This was -- well, it will be 13 years this summer

Holy Shit... hadn't thought about that number in awhile.
I digress.

Since then the REALLY conservative members of the state school board managed to get Evolution OFF the state standardized tests. Leaving the scientific doors promptly closed for any conversation around Evolution vs. Creationism.

I think -- and I need to check this -- that they managed to get some form of evolution back on the exams. Not sure.
But this billboard....

Dark orange background.
The all-too-familiar shadow image of an upright gorilla/monkey/simian-type form

and it says in big, HUGE letters ...

Teach Evolution
But Teach it Honestly

What does that mean? And why does it need to be on a billboard?
Are we concerned that people are lying about evolution....

"See you came from horses... NOT monkeys, no wait, I mean dolphins, or ... "
That sort of thing?

This state kills me some times.
About as forward thinking as a slug.

And people call Iowa a fly-over state. We look positively liberal compared to this stuff.
And on that note, I have to go. I have a 40 minute drive home with all the other suburban lemmings.

We Are Not In Kansas Anymore

Now Watching: Wallace & Gromit

So here I sit in good ole' Lansing ....
Well, it doesn't get much better than this.
Actually it does.

Mom is still in the hospital. Can't seem to keep her fever in check.
Went to go see her this afternoon and she was all loopy from the drugs that they have her on.
Kinda funny.

Working out of the Kansas City office this week. I have discovered the following:

• I really hate commuting
  
• There are no decent coffee shops between my parents house and the KC offices.
  
• Working in downtown Des Moines has spoiled me. I hate the fact that from our KC office, you have to drive 10 minutes to even get a sandwich.

Not much to add today... kinda tired.
I did get an email from the Executive Iowa folks -- if I sign up now, I get an extra 3 months for my $1000 --- THREE WHOLE MONTHS.
So 9 months are all mine, should I choose to spend the money.
And the PerfectMatch people (think John Cusak) want me to get their service for a special 3 month deal -- MUST ACT NOW.
I feel like my dating has become a infomercial.
At least in 90 day increments.

Ok, More later.
I must go. The Daily Show is starting soon.

No Strings Attached

Now playing: The Perishers


New developments on the boy front.
So Mr. Poker and I have been doing to phone thing all week. Leave a voice mail, what are you doing tonight -- but never actually went out or anything.
So last night, he called and decided to come over.

So he did. We small talked for a bit, blah blah....
And then we get the epiphany

I will say this on the onset -- I have never met anyone who has LESS of a problem saying what is on their mind. You know exactly where you stand with this guy.

So he says, he has been doing a lot of thinking this week.
My instant thought is -- don't know this guy all that well, but when he says he has been thinking, prepare yourself for who-knows-what --

He goes on to say, he is in a position right now where he only wants to be doing things that are good for him -
And after we had dinner and then after we watched the movie and I went home, all he could think of was the ex-girlfriend.
This is **not** good for him.

continuing down this line of thought, he has given serious consideration to what he said to me last week.
Reminder for the kids in the back: Friends with benefits, hang out... that sort of thing.

He has come to the conclusion that one of two things need to happen between us for him to stick with the 'it has to be good for me' thought.
1) Just friends
or
2) Just benefits.

Interesting approach, natch.

Brain at this point is moving pretty fast trying to process and keep up.
I ask him what he wants...
He tells me he is in no position to set boundaries for us.
WTF?

So I now get to choose (and I think this one is pretty obvious) between ANOTHER male friend or an on-demand booty call.

At this point, Meghan mentally turns and begins wading back in to the tumultuous waters that are online dating....
How on EARTH do I attract these people? Jen had an interesting theory that due to my "unique" personality, I am drawn to people who are a little more eclectic and out of the norm.
This is probably a true statement. However, I don't feel that with that type of person I need to be picking up a 15 piece set of luggage.


I am now back to the pressing choice of which online venue I should choose for my next round of field research.
Comments, as always are welcome.

On the mom front:
Haven't actually talked to her. She doesn't have a phone in her room since she is in Neuro ICU.
And my dad can't use his cell due to the monitoring equipment.
So last update was the were struggling a little with pain management. The list he rattled off makes her sounds like Rush Limbaugh's best friend:

• Self medicated Morphine
• Vicodin
• Oxycotin
• And a few others I haven't heard of

So no word on when she will be out of the hospital. I am going home on Sunday and going to work out of our KC office next week. It is only about 30 minutes from my parents house and will allow me to give my dad a break at night and help around the house.
Good times.
So that is all from my corner of the world.
I am going to call that damn cabana boy - it has to be happy hour somewhere.

The All Clear

Short and sweet for right now...

Mom cleared surgery just fine. Didn't take quite as long as they had anticipated.
She is self medicating her pain meds, was sitting up this AM and seems to be doing ok with pain.

Meghan is feeling better -- cold is on the way out.
More later today.....

Exoskeleton or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ?

Now listening: Tori Amos

So, my mom is having surgery today.
Almost didn't happen. Her white blood cell count was pretty low on Friday when she was doing all of her pre-Op work-ups.
They gave her some meds, checked again yesterday and so under the knife she went.

I was supposed to go home for this one. Big operation, fusing several of her vertebrae at her lower back together. But, I came down with a slight cold yesterday and when I was talking to my dad he heard a sniffle.
All the sudden he was Tom Smith, MD

"Do you have a cold, are you sick? Don't come. No use to us sick. You will do more harm than good"
So on and so forth.
thanks dad for making me feel wanted :)

Of course, it is the right call. With an already supressed immune system, don't want to introduce anything to the enviroment that could cause additional complications.

So, I called back last night. They were on the phone - my dad says he will call back. About 15 minutes later he does, from his cell.
My mom is on the home phone with who knows... she was Susy Social yesteday.
And my dad proceeds to tell me that I need to get healthy, take some time for myself -- etc, etc.
I am like, I know, I know.
He thinks that I am manifesting stress over my mom as a cold.
I was like -- well yes, that is about one-eigth of the equation.

• I just spent a crazy weekend in Chicago
• Working 12 hour days
• Had something going on every day last week
• Didn't work out

Myraid of things going on. Then he starts in on the "I need you for the long-haul here"

Weird. Maybe he was projecting onto me his freakout with the surgery.

Maybe I should stop using words like "projecting" & "manifesting". I sound like a therapist. And I am in NO position to be giving advice to anyone.

So - she is in surgery. Has been since 7 AM CST. Expecting a phone call sometime tonight around 7/8 PM -- yep, this takes that long. Kinda nice not to be at the hospital. Those waiting room chairs SUCK. You would think with all the money they are making and all the time that people sit just waiting, they would spend a few bucks on some comfy chairs. Nope.

When she gets done with surgery she gets to wear this full-upper-body brace that looks like a turtle shell. That will be on for an as-yet-determined amount of time.

On to lighter topics -

Debate of the day: I have talked to the date guy from last week every day since ....
But we haven't gone out. I still don't know what I want to do. And in the mean time, a girl I work with at the Cafe says to me, I have someone I want you to meet.
As Martine said -- When it rains it pours.
Oh and I got another bible-beater from eHarmony. Commonly known in some circles as "The Army"

The Number One Thing He Can't Live Without:
Christ

And he has a kid. I really think the whirring boxes at eHarmony are broken. Or a hacker broke in and changed the code to match people with the worst possible matches.
Alrighty then. At work, not really too focused on work today, but am going to attempt to get some stuff done round' this joint.

Pocket Full of Kryptonite

My kryptonite got married this weekend.

You all know what I mean. The one person that can drive you totally nuts.
The person that is all wrong for you, is a total cad, cheat, self-absorbed, makes bad choices, makes you make WORSE choices... well, I don't need to go on.
But despite that list, or maybe because of it -- you are powerless against them.

So, married.
Now, I officially and without fanfare, box it up, pack it in peat moss and ship it off on a slow boat to somewhere on the other side of the planet.
Bon Voyage.

I Just Bought Some New Samsonite

Now Playing: Damien Rice

I still owe you the full scoop on the Chicago weekend and Ms. Kim's last hurrah.
Alas - I have had more requests on the "date" front, so that will still have to wait.

So here we go
-- tighten your seatbelts kids, the ride is about to get a little crazy --

So last night after a few phone calls back and forth we decided to meet for sushi about 8:15 for dinner. His thought, as he said on the phone --
"Why bother with coffee or any of that, if it sucks, we will know and can call it."
Really can't argue with that.
So dinner it was.

I got there a few minutes ahead of him, and sat at the bar and ordered a glass of wine.
Not more than 5 minutes later -- he walked in.
So, deep voice, tall, very metro/European looking -- the clothes, the hair -- I think, this may not be so bad.
So he goes to check on seating, and comes back after telling me it is going to be 10-15 minute wait.
No problem.

So, the bartender offers him a drink.
He says "I don't drink"

This is the point that I about choke on my glass of wine.

I look at him and politely ask if it is an issue if *I* have a drink, he says of course not.

So we sit down to dinner at the sushi bar. Conversation is good. He has traveled extensively, lived overseas, large cities -- very not-Iowa-farm-boy.

Now, this particular sushi restaurant is known for their propensity to throw back large amounts of Sake bombs and one more than one occasion, shots of Hennessey (which for the record is GROSS)
And one more than one occasion, I have partaken in that very social activity.
So, we are sitting there chatting, eating our dinner and I can see that the sushi chefs are well are their way to tying one on ...
And so it begins:

Meghan, do a sake bomb with us

Meghan, need a shot?

Meghan, we have Hennessey

And I am sitting there with a man that not only doesn't drink, but has been sober for 9 years and still attends AA meetings.
Shots aren't really a great idea at this point.

So -- through the course of conversation I discover the following:
(and these are in no particular order)

1) the pre-established addict with no drinking (which is clearly NOT a negative, but a bit contrary to how I live my life)
2) He went to law school, but has spent the last 1.5 years as a professional poker player.
3) He broke up with his girlfriend of several years in February
4) The only reason that he is in Des Moines is because his mother is not doing well, he has no intention of staying here
5) He has no qualms about discussing his sexual past.

So, I am sorta reeling from all of this. We end dinner and he is like "What do you want to do?"
Now, normally, I would say... "Let's go get a drink and talk some more"
This is CLEARLY not an option.

So -- trying to get creative. We go for coffee.
So overall the date was good, intelligent guy, well traveled and read -- I mean this guy is upfront about anything.
and I do mean anything.
So at the end of the night he proceeds to tell me in no uncertain terms, that he is not sure how long he will be in Des Moines... but he has spent a lot of time thinking since his breakup and he is sure of the following:
He is pretty much emotionally unavailable (i hate that phrase, for the record) but is always looking for people to hang out with, he enjoyed our evening and would like to do it again, and really we could have lots of casual sex.

You read that right.

Not sure how many of you have gotten that level of honesty on a first date.
I can't fault him for being upfront.
But holy shit.
Although there is the tiny, miniscule part of me that thinks a friend with benefits may not be such a bad idea for a short term.
Of course, I will not go there.
Fleeting thought though it was...

So, there you go.
There really are no NORMAL men in this city.
No where.
I mean, come on.
I really don't know where to go from here...
The convent?

I tell you what, that $1000 is looking pretty reasonable right about now.

Stay tuned --- details at 10

Now playing: Maria Taylor


Ok - I owe you all like a dozen posts or something. For sure an update on the Chicago trip, the nastiest bathroom I have EVER gone into in my life -- And I lived in Eastern Europe for a year, do the math on that one. and all sorts of pictures of the most gi-normous limo I have ever seen.
All that will take a backseat for the immediate future, as I am at work and have a ga-zillion things I should be doing right now.

But check this, I have a date tonight.
A DATE!!!
A real god-honest date.

Holy shit.



For those of you that I had a previous commitment with tonight, apologies.
So, yes -- I am ditching book club for a date.
I am sure they will understand. If not, well --
Bygones.

So, I met this one online (please hold all snide comments for a moment) like a month ago. Seems normal. Likes Tom Robbins books, so can't be that bad. Looked somewhat normal.
Can use spell check and had no children. We traded a few emails that included a phone number exchange and then promptly never heard back from him.
Until Monday.
I was out celebrating with some co-workers as one of them is leaving for a new job, and my phone rang. Normally I don't answer the phone if I don't know the number. But I had a few beers at that point and nothing to eat -- so I picked up. It was him. Apparently, he had a family emergency and had to leave town for a few weeks. But wanted to touch base.
So there you have it. Tonight we meet.
Holy crap, I have to go shopping. I have nothing to wear.

I shall update later, but must go -- that pesky internet keeps calling and the cabana boy refuses to get up before noon to do my work for me.