The Thousand Dollar Answer

Now Playing: Iron & Wine

Not sure if anyone is even READING this anymore.
I have been most terrible in the blogsphere of late.
There is talk of me losing my blog-credentials if I don't stay current.

So here I am.
I have discovered a new truth.
When it is a Friday before a long weekend, your office is rapidly becoming a ghost town and you have more work that you can mentally wrap your arms around....
You blog.

In all fairness, I am eating lunch, so this SORTA counts as a lunch break.
the man can't come down on me for that.
NSA maybe,
Man. No.

So what you ask, have I been up to for the last, erm... 2 weeks??
Well.
Hm.
Certainly HASN'T been any action on the online front.
There were two inquires that made me laugh...
One from our friends at Match.com and another from Perfectmatch.com.
Match.com
22 year old.
In Ames.
Leaving in 3 weeks to go to culinary school on the East Coast.
Tells me in his profile that he if he is not working, he is out boozing it up with his buddies.

So, in his infinite 22-year old wisdom, he has decided that in the THREE weeks he has left in town, he should hang out with a 30 year old who might just come along to his keg-stand parties and go from there???
This is one of those fork-in-the-road moments.
Will I regret this the rest of my life? could this be the one for me?

Oh wait.
Nevermind.
No -- and no. I don't feel that I even have to explain myself on this one. Oh, and there was this... I am fairly confident that one of the pictures he posted was from PROM!!!!
Yeah. right.

Round II
**bell sounds**

Perfectmatch.com.
Which is so far removed from PERFECT, that it isn't even funny.
I got an email this week.
Lets give it a read, shall we??

I think yopu are really nice and I am interested in your person. I you are
looking for long term relationship, please contact me at xxx ya hoo .
com for privacy.Waiting eagerly for your reply. Receive my best
greetings.Bigo.

Now, Bigo lives in the Dominican Republic.
I am sure Bigo is a lovely gentleman.
But what is UP with the international crap from this site? How do they find me? I mean, they have to really look long and hard....
Or do they just grab zip codes they think are cool and go from there? Or did someone tell them, chase those Iowa girls -- you have a great shot, the competition there is men who like crappy chain restaurants and 60 year old Japanese business men -- who live in Japan.
Sheesh.

So. In light of this recent bout of activity, or lack thereof.
I did it.
I did it, BIG.
The executive matchmakers were contacted, paid and it has begun.
I had my introductory interview with them last night.
So there is a basic web form you fill out. Age, location, height -- generic enough stuff.
And then they get into all this crazy stuff.
Like, -- if you had to identify the things that have gone wrong in your past relationships, what would they be?
or
"What do you find physically attractive?"
Which in and of itself should be a simple answer. But it stumped me. I mean... think about it. One, my idea of "attractive" has changed since I was 16. Two, There are a number of occasions that I found someone more attractive as I got to know them.
Quite possible I am overreacting. Wouldn't be the first time.

So then they have this whole process.
They feed all my info into the system
Sort out the ones that don't meet basic criteria (location, age, etc)
Then they hand sort them
Then my counselor talks to the counselor of the person they think I should meet.
Then I get the introduction via email.
And before we talk, we are supposed to let the counselor know our initial thoughts.
After we meet, I have to let them know what I think
and then
Later, Rinse, Repeat.

They do one guy at a time. At least two a month and I can put my subscription on hold if I start dating someone.
This all takes about 2 weeks from the first interview.
So -- there it is. Now, THIS should be interesting.
Stay tuned for this one kids....

Other stuff.
Holiday weekend. No plans. Maybe last minute camping if we can get it thrown together.
Or not. Just laying low is ok too.

Mom. Doing well. Had another chemo treatment yesterday. So there is that. Strength is starting to come back from surgeries. So we are doing ok there -- at least for now.

I think that is it.
Natch.

The Thousand Dollar Question

Now Listening: Iron & Wine

I have been lax in my posting lately.
Yep.
I would offer some excuse, but I am terribly afraid I have no excuse.
Part of the lack of posting has come from the lack of online activity in the last week.
Now -- I will say this, when I signed up at PerfectMatch, I wasn't really expecting John Cusak to come knocking on my door.

That said, I wasn't expecting the distant chirping of crickets to be the only activity on the site.
It has been DEAD.
No matches
The ones I have contacted have not responded.
We are talking vast wasteland of online dating stagnation.

And I haven't even really made fun of any of them.
Is this cosmic payback for my mockery of all the others that have come before?
I even let Martine do some man-shopping on my behalf on Sunday -- and minus one guy that she wanted to send something to that I wouldn't give the nod to, there was nada.

-- For the record, the one guy that she wanted me to contact was 5'2".
Now, I don't have a lot of physical traits that are absolutes. I have several that I prefer... but who doesn't? But I am only 5'4". Being taller than me isn't a hard thing. Most people are. Being shorter than me by 2 inches --- sorry. Can't go there. Call me names, a snot, unwilling to try new things --- all those. Not going to change my mind on this one. You have to be at least my height or taller. With my shortness in play, this is not an eliminating factor for the majority of the male population.

So, this is what I have been thinking. I am giving SERIOUS consideration to the 6 month subscription to the actual matchmaking service. Price tag is a little high... but I have been doing the online thing on and off for close to two years and the results...
Well.
I am still looking at other dating options... that should tell you something.
And while I am guessing this potential group will not be as -- mock-worthy -- they might just be more date-worthy.
I think that is a trade I am willing to make.

What else?
I was driving home last night from work -- in a pretty piss-poor mood I might add, and I saw one of the funniest things I have seen in a while.
So at one of the intersections, there is a guy with a sign...
You know the type
homeless, need hot meal, vet -- God Bless, that sort of thing.
This guy cut to the chase and had I actually hit the red light, probably would have given him a few bucks just because he made me laugh.
His sign:

Why Lie?
Need a beer and taco

That was it.
Got a good laugh off of that one.
Not much else today -- I will check the online barren wastelands later today and see if my luck has changed :)

I leave you with this closing thought....
Nothing is better than falling asleep in clean sheets. It rocks.

Mensa Anyone??

Now Watching: The Daily Show

Congrats to Kim and Jason. Wedding this weekend was wonderful. Had a great time and everything was beautiful.
Pictures will be forthcoming at some point.

Been busy at work and that seems to be about it.
Mom seems to be doing well. She gets her staples out on Thursday and if she is doing well they are going to start the chemo back up.
Seems kinda backwards -- you are feeling better so we will start pumping you full of poison.
Medical logic is one I will never get.

Online world is chugging forward like it should.
Had a few interesting hits over the last few days.
One is from PerfectMatch -- which for the record has been less than Perfect in its matching.
Not a lot of activity.
But I did get an email from a guy in Japan.
Yes -- Japan. Small island nation on the Pacific ocean. HALF WAY AROUND THE WORLD.
Now, I have no issue with long distance relationships. It can create some unique issues -- especially starting a relationship that way. But I am not totally opposed to it.
That is until I got an email from a guy in Japan. I mean, if I was to call him... it would be tomorrow. Always. Tomorrow.
The logistics are really pushing the outer limits of what I am willing to try.
Oh...
and there is this little tidbit.

HE IS 60!!!!!!!!!!

For the record, that is older than my dad.
Ew.
Ew
Ew
Did I mention he was 60?
Yeah -- 2x my age.
Like was he looking through every woman on the site, or just decided a nice midwestern girl is what he wanted??
Suffice it to say, I don't see this one going anywhere.

I still have a profile up on Match.com and got this winner over the weekend...

patrickfromca


Ok - so this is him.
He is 42.

This is my favorite quote from his profile:

my education
My four degrees provide some interesting stories. However, the more
relevant question is "Are you comfortable with an unapologetic genius?"

So good to see that a healthy does of humility is at play here.
Now given that he has 4 degrees and is looking for:

Mensa membership is not required but a high EQ is desired

One would think that literacy would be a good skill of his.
Clearly not -- as he has FOUR children. Four.
One less than 5.
One more than 3.
Thanks Patrick from CA. I think, even with the temptation of your unapologetic genuis and IQ standards... I am going to have to pass on this one.

So that should bring us up to speed. 60 year old Japanese men and Mensa candidates who can't read.
My life is complete.