My money tree is dying

$1871.17
That is the total amount for the recommended work on my car.
That is also a vacation to Europe (a cheap one, but one nonetheless)
A cruise
A new couch for my living room (and the ottoman)
A kick-ass flat screen tv
A whole new wardrobe

That is roughly 1/3 to 1/2 the blue book value of my car.
That is the real kicker.

So posed with the "what do I need to do RIGHT now?" question, we whittled it down to about $600/700 worth of work.
Merry Christmas to me.
It's happy hour somewhere, right? I need a cocktail. Cold and scratchy throat not withstanding. Hell, the alcohol might kill the germs.

Now Listening: O by Damien Rice

Not a Virtue

I will be the first to admit, I am not a patient person. My mother has told me that for years.
Patience, while it may be a wonderful virtue, is not mine to posses. Never has been.
Which is why this morning is really starting to piss me off. I couldn't get to my voicemail on my cell phone this morning and got routed to Sprints customer service center. Seems my cell phone has been shut off from outgoing calls due to an outstanding bill. I will also admit, I am not always the most prompt on that -- I always forget, so I go to the automatic payment option and figure I would be on my way.
Yeah, except my bill was $529.27 for ONE MONTH. Um. No.
So I get online and take a look.
I will accept the extra $90+ dollars over my usual monthly rate due to my rather excessive text messages this month. I pay $5 for an extra 400. Seems I used an additional 435 this month. That's on top of the included 400. So, tapping out at almost 1,000 text messages a month. I am not 15, I swear.
oops.
Ok, willing to bite that bullet.
The real goodness stems from an extra $273.24 in ambiguous "other charges".
I get on the phone to them, can't go to the store as I don't have a car (another update forthcoming) and I have meetings starting at 9 AM that literally run through 4:30.
I call the "Customer Service" number listed on the bill. Wait like, 5-7 minutes to get a representative. I mean really, how busy can they be at 8:15 AM - anyway. Get to a person, have to give her my phone number AFTER I have entered it. I tell her I need two things, 1) to get unlimited text messages added to my phone and 2) someone to tell me what in the heck these "other charges" are. She tells me for both counts, I need customer service.
Um, who in the hell did I call then?
So she transfers me. Of course, it was not a soft transfer, but a cold one. Allow me to dig WAY back into my customer service recesses and explain. A soft transfer, they wait on the line with you, explain to the new person what is up and then drop off. Saves you (the customer) from having to repeat yourself and get really annoyed. A cold transfer is when they just dump you back into queue and you basically start over.
Cold. That is me.
So, I get "Randy. I give Randy my number and explain the same set of issues. Randy tells me that the $250+ dollars in extra charges are a cancellation fee. For what, no one seems to be able to tell me, but there they are.
To recap - got charged cancellation fees for a "service" that cannot be identified nor that I actually canceled.
As of right now, I have been on the phone for 39:50 and I have only spent about 5-7 minutes of that actually talking to a human. I have spent the other 32:50 listening to horrible jazzy-hold music.
Go sprint.

For the car, it is in the shop today getting tweaked and poked. I am hoping (optimal word: hope) that it will not cost me an arm and a leg. I am trying someplace new today on a recommendation. That meant that I got a new shuttle driver this AM. One who proceeded to tell me about the $10/hour he makes, which is a great improvement over the $8/hour he used to make at John's Auto Sales or whatever.
And I didn't have coffee yet.
It has been a banner morning. And now, hopefully Randy will wrap up this crap before I have to go into 8 hours of meetings.
Woot.

Now Listening: to the aforementioned jazzy-craptastic hold music at Sprint.

Somebody has a case of the Monday's

Where to begin?
Turkey day came and went. I ate too much, drank too much and had too much of a cold to really enjoy myself.
I think that getting sick is my bodies way of telling me to slow the F down.
Good times.

The only other thing that I have to report tonight as I am still feeling pretty icky, is that I had dinner tonight. With Gary. And he now has a job offer in Des Moines. And he took it.
really still processing that one.

Now Watching: Monday Night Football.
Pictures from the last few weekends are posted on the Flickr site. Check em' out.

First Pluto and now this... ?

Ok- I was willing to set aside 12 years in the public school system when scientist told me a few months back that Pluto was no longer a planet. Although, in all fairness Pluto -- you will always be #9 for me, cold, unforgiving and the smallest of the planets. You were always the easiest to make in my many planetary diorama's.
Ah, the joys of elementary school - a solar system in a shoe box.
Moving on.
I was surfing around the Internet over lunch today and came across this little article HERE. I was intrigued. I clicked. I clicked and had my whole childhood destroyed in one newspaper article.
The gist of the story is that they have released a number of the original episodes of Sesame Street out on DVD -- and they are not recommended for children.
You read that right my Gen-X'rs.
Add it to the list of things that have kept us from reaching our full potential:

• Bike helmets. Never wore one. Must be why I am so slow.
• Small Lego's. Played with them. Probably swallowed one or two.
• Homemade treats at school. Ate them. The entire reason I am 15 lbs overweight to be sure.
• Santa saying Ho Ho Ho. As a woman, I am offended and I am boycotting Christmas.

And now this.... Sesame Street had the "wrong" message all those years ago. Yep. Counting, the alphabet, and some diversity for those of us stuck in middle, white America -- completely screwed us all up.
First Burt and Ernie got split up and now this epiphany.
I might need therapy to convince me that Cookie Monster gobbling cookies was in fact a bad thing.

Next thing you know, revisionist history will be applied to the Smurfs. Can't wait for the fall out from that one.

Now Listening (probably too loudly with earphones and will cause permanent hearing damage): The Reminder by Feist

Drink It Back

That phrase was coined a few weeks back at Lisa's bridal shower. It came from one of the bridal parties mom in response to some high levels of emotion. As in, don't get too emotional -- drink it back.
And so in true wedding weekend fashion, it was drank back. In a big way.
We drank it back Thursday night to kick off the festivities.
We drank it back Friday at the rehearsal.
And we REALLY drank it back Saturday. And we didn't even start until after the actual ceremony.
The wedding was amazing. It was a beautiful ceremony, an awesome party and I believe a good time was had by all. I know table #5 was kicking it old school. I took a bunch of pictures but I managed to leave my camera at my parents house on Sunday -- so those will get loaded later this week.
And yes, you read that right. After a 3 day bender, and a cab ride home on Saturday night, I got up -- how, I am not sure, at 8:30 Sunday morning to get on the road to surprise my dad for his 60th birthday.
I am fairly confident that had I gotten pulled over at any point in my 3 hour journey south, I probably would have gotten a DUI as I was still drunk from the night before.
Drink it back.
Party went well. My dad was surprised, that was for sure. And we had a good turn out at the house. I did feel bad that we didn't do something more -- you know that commercial on TV where the guy takes his dad to Norway for his 60th??? Yeah, we aren't those kids. We threw a party at the house to watch KC football. And I didn't put it on my mastercard. I put it on my visa, so there.
Had another Joe run in on Friday.
Drink it back.
It was ok - who knows these days. Boys are just eejits. That is what I think officially. I haven't talked to Gary in like, 4 days. And frankly, I haven't missed it. He does have another interview in Des Moines next week, so at some point, I am sure he will call.
And I can't WAIT for that.
Alrighty. Lunch posting time is almost up, so I must go. Pictures as I mentioned will be posted sometime this week --

Now Listening: Grace by Jeff Buckley

Auspicious begining

Signs that you are not going to have a good day, even if it is a Friday.

You wake up on Friday morning at roughly the same time that you GOT to work on Thursday*

Your loofah sponge doesn't work in the shower.
Yeah.
Think about that one for a minute. Not exactly sure what is up -- but I dumped a whole thing of body wash on the thing and no lather. And for the record, a loofah with no lather -- kinda hurts.

Your face lotion that has some age-defying, acid-type substance in it, gets into the paper cut on your hand as you slather it on your face.
That feels good.

You realize that the piles of dirty clothes totally and without question, outnumber the piles of clean clothes, which means you run around Fabreezing the hell out of everything so you can wear something appropriate to work.

And then, in a shining, beaming light of humanity, a beacon of hope, a kindred spirit ...Jan the coffee lady (we are on a first name basis) gives me a freebie today. Just cause'. She likes me.
There is hope.

Now Listening: Automatic for the People by R.E.M.

* For whatever reason, I woke up yesterday at 5:15 am and couldn't get back to sleep. So I jumped in the shower and was at work by 6:45 am yesterday. Dark when I got to work, dark when I left work. Woot.

Someone gets paid to write this stuff

I am taking the yearly "security" exam today at work for my government access. The usual, don't surf porn, don't take confidential info out of the building, don't forward viruses, don't think for yourself -- that sort of thing.
At the end of the review is a test. One must pass with at least an 80% to keep your access. This was one of the questions...
"You receive an email from a friend with the Hot Bodies 2008 calendar attached to it. You open the attachment and discover that the bodies are partially clothed. Since they are not totally nude, you decide to forward it on to some co-workers that would enjoy it as much as you. This is acceptable for the Sexual Harassment Policy and email attachment policy: True/False"

That was actually the freakin' question. I laughed. A lot.
That more than anything tells me how effective our government is.
Good times. Good, Hot Bodies 08' times.

Now Listening: Speak for Yourself by Imogen Heap

In the Category of....

Most out of the blue comment heard on an airport tarmac
Airport Jockey 1 “ No dude, really, crack leaves the system really quickly”
Airport Jockey 2: “Really? That is good to know. How do you know that?”

AJ1: “My mom is an RN, she works with druggies”
AJ2: “A what, RN?”
AJ1: “ Registered Nurse.”
AJ2: “Oh cool, so she really does know what she is talking about”
The above conversation overheard while standing on the tarmac at the Cincinnati Airport waiting to board one of those mini airplanes that seem to be the only ones that fly into and/or out of Des Moines.

Most work done for the least amount of return:
Counting all the bottles in my garage – 141-- and getting them into my car for a whopping $7.05 back from the return people.

Most disgusting thing I have seen in quite awhile:
While counting the above bottles, notice one bottle with what seems to be some beer left in it – shake it out to release there is in fact a MOUSE in the bottle. How it got in there, I don’t know, but it died drunk.

Worst pick up line I have heard in awhile:
Random guy in bar in Baltimore: “I don’t mean to be rude, but you look just like that one actress… you know, that one”
Me: “Molly Ringwald” – I get that one all the time. Keep in mind the only reason I think people we look alike is the red hair.
RGIBIB: “Yeah, her. She was hot”
Suffice it to say, didn’t get very far on that one.

A great reason to date someone this time of year:
Huge Piles of leaves raked up: 5
Number of yard bags filled:13
Number of huge piles left: 3
How many could have gotten done if I had a boy helping: all
At least that is what I like to think, Humor me. I am having a bad relationship week. Like I have had a good relationship week in any time in recent memory, but whatever.

Most annoying adult thing I have done this week:
Realizing that I would have to go to a bar to watch the Bears game and deciding instead to stay home and rake my yard.

Catching Up

Lots to talk about --
Not sure what my problem is, but I have not been the best blogger on the planet lately. I know, I know -- work on it...

Suck
It
Up!

But I tell you what, with my schedule lately, the last thing I have wanted to do when I get home at night is fire up ye olde' computer and fill the ether with my ramblings.
But here we are, rambling away, so I should get you up to speed.
Last weekend seems like a logical place as it is where our story last took place.
So hit the rewind button on your memory banks and travel back with me to a place I like to call

LAST FRIDAY
-- queue the really cool special effects and sound machine sounds --
Actually, we need to go a day further to last Thursday. That was when Gary was in town for his job interview. He was at my house when I got off of work. The plan was to grab a drink and then he was going to head back to Lincoln. He did of course throw out the, you know, I could just stay the night and you could take a mental health day tomorrow -- to which the answer was a resounding NO. So through the course of drinks, and then dinner we talked. He apologized for all the crap he had been throwing at me. To which I responded you are pushing too hard and in fact pushing me away -- It was a good conversation but I sorta had an epiphany. When I first saw him, I wasn't like *bam*, I have missed him. And when we were eating/hanging out I never was like, I miss this...
which led me to my comments to him later in the evening where I basically said, I can't be your girlfriend (which is what I said to him 6 weeks ago, details) and what I needed right now was a friend who could help me get through all the crap in my life. There was more, but that is the jist of it.
He headed back home and of course, on Friday morning I had a late night email from him telling me he was going to work on being a good friend to me and giving me the space I asked for. So only time will tell if this is going to be a repeat performance of the last month or so, or maybe, just MAYBE he got the message.
Friday was a 1/2 day at work as Heather and Sebastian were coming into town. Small TSA glitch led them to miss their flight, so they didn't get into town until later in the afternoon. Which was still cool. We met up with some peeps -- had more than a few cocktails.
Sangria Blanco
Yum
Sangria Rojo
Yum.
Mojhitos
Yum. Yum.
Margaritas
Yum.
So you can see how the evening progressed. Actually it sounds like a lot, but there was like 4 of us drinking them. So it was a shared deal.
Friday night got a little interesting when just as we were getting ready to leave downtown, I got a text from Joe asking me to come meet him for a drink.
Hm.
Keep in mind ever since my mom's funeral, he has either hid from me or left the building that I was in. So I was sorta tempted to see what the behaviour was going to be.
So I went.
And no, you can't all yell at me for going. Heather did that a little. I told her, as I shall share with you, there are just sometimes that you have to go and face the crap storm. This was one of them.
I think he thought that it would be cool, hang out deal.
That would be a negative ghost rider.
I lit into him. With good cause. Asked him about all the crap around my mom and his behaviour. We did manage to get a acknowledgement that yes in fact he was a colossal shit and he was scared shitless about talking to me. I let him know that a simple "I'm sorry" would have gone MILES for me and been all that he had to say.
Really boys - sometimes the simplest thing is all you need. Remember that little gem, consider it a gift.
Not sure where all of that is going - He did give me the " I miss you" routine.
Whoa dude. Check yourself.
Normally I would be more than willing to assume responsibility in a relationship. Let's face it, it does in fact take two. But on this one -- erm. Nope.
This was all you bud.
And I told him that, If you "miss me" then it is up to you to decide how much you miss me. Which with him, is ALWAYS the issue.
Anyhoo.
Saturday I headed down to KC for Melissa's 30th birthday. Which was good. I think on top of the usual "Holy-crap-I-am-30-this-is-SO-not-how-I-saw-my-life" freak out, there was the whole Mom factor. And the fact that I had thrown myself (please note, I had thrown myself) a big ole' birthday party when I hit the Dirty 30. So she had some high expectations.
Small detail, in order to throw a birthday party one needs to plan a birthday party. Which she didn't really do. Courtney and I sorta threw something together -- ok, really more Courtney than me. And by throwing, I mean she made a few phone calls.
So Melissa wanted to have dinner and then go to this club and get bottle service in the VIP lounge. For those of you that don't know, bottle service is when you pay anywhere from $250 upwards to get a bottle (get it, bottle service) of some liquor and then all the mixins'. This is supposed to be the swank way to enjoy a night out. One would think.
Then again one wasn't at NV last Saturday. And no, that is not Nevada -- its N-V (envy). Yeah. Catchy.
Moving on. So, we shelled out the coin for the birthday girl. Of course, we got the smallest table on the planet and the people next to us took liberal use of there table. By liberal, I mean, they must of made reservations for like 10 people and then decided more like 30 needed to come out. So Melissa was freaking out because there were people floating over into "our" space. Granted, it would seem that the whole concept of the VIP lounge would be to create a certain sense of exclusiveness -- Kansas City social scene not withstanding. And I did get the distinct feeling that the management did overbook the area just a little as it was the weekend before Halloween.
regardless.
What happens next goes down in my top 5.
As in, TOP 5 BAR FIGHTS I HAVE EVER WITNESSED -- AND I HAVE SEEN SOME BAR FIGHTS
Just to reference, V-I-P Lounge. Big $$
Not sure what started it, who started it or how it started, all I know is within a few seconds there were glasses flying, bottles being cracked on heads, some guy walked passed me with a cracked skull and got blood all over my arm, Courtney's shirt (that I was wearing) and Brooke. I looked over and some dude was getting the ever-loving-crap beat out of him, the velvet ropes used to rope off the VIP area where on the ground and general chaos took over. All in the VIP area. The area that we had payed to NOT have to deal with this crap.
Long story short -- too late.
The management ended up closing the bar 1.5 hours early. We managed to get out, Patrick had to give a statement to the cops, we came outside to -- and this is not an exaggeration -- like 15 cop cars, 3 ambulances, a fire truck and people getting thrown in the paddy wagon left and right.
Oh, and the cops were dicks. I don't say that lightly. Chasing people with mace, batons and tackling people on the cement isn't exactly my idea of public service. Melissa was of course in tears and Courtney was trying (justifiably) to not have to pay the full price of our night. I dunno you idiot waitress, maybe the fact that glass was flying all over us is the reason we don't think we should shell out $350 for a night you cut short. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I am over-reacting.
Or maybe you are a mo-mo and don't want us to come back to your club and pay $9 for a beer.
dunno.
Of course, the rest of the night was filled with recounting all the Drama (and that was some drama with a capital D) and karaoke on the home cable channel.
Headed home on Sunday just in time to watch the Bears get beat by the Lions -- again.

Rest of this week has been in preparation for Lisa's big Bridal Shower/Bachelerorette party on Saturday. And I found out I have to go out of town next week for work.
And then I had a little melt down yesterday at work. I blame Courtney for this one. She sent me this link which is actually a really neat story that is connected to my mom. However, little smarty-pants didn't tell me about the connection to my mom, so when I saw the blurb about her I started crying.
At work.
A lot.
With co-workers walking by.
It rocked.
Or not at all.
But it is a good thing.

So after this mammoth post to get you caught up - I promise pictures soon from the birthday weekend, should have pictures from this weekend coming up and more stories to tell.

Now Listening: Give Up by The Postal Service