Day Five of my new life

or the story of how my belly button came back. The Little Leprechaun made his arrival. Finally.

And we have proof:

There he is.

Finnian James McConville

January 25th, 2009

9 lbs 4 oz (yes, that big)

20.5 inches long

Things finally kicked off about 9 PM on Friday night. So yes, when you do the math -- he was born at 4 AM -- we were in labor for about 30 hours, give or take a few.

And while we had the best of plans, all natural, totally in control, things ended up a little different.

Made it to about 7.5 cm dilation before I realized that I needed the epidural.

And when I needed it, I needed it RIGHT NOW.

God love that doctor. Joe told me after the fact how big the needle was. Didn't care, didn't feel it.

And we got to 10 cm in good fashion and we all thought, sweet, we are gonna have this kid today. Well, it seems that while I never thought my hips would not be able to handle a kid, it seems that Finn had other plans.

We couldn't get him to move on his own. So after 3.5 hours of pushing, we ended up having to go the C-section route.

I don't remember much about it. Other than being cold, Joe being right by me and him screaming when they finally brought him over the curtain commenting on how big he really was.

But in the end, he arrived, was healthy and we both are doing great.

Joe was awesome. And hasn't taken his hands off of him since he arrived. I am not sure I could have done it all without him. Our doula was fantastic. All in all, while it wasn't anything near what I had hoped it would be, it was amazing. Our families stuck it out at the hospital the whole time. And the flood of friends was amazing.

So what have we learned this week in the post-labor world.

My belly button has started to return.

Staples are in fact uncomfortable.

Percoset is a great drug.

Sleep is a lost art.

One flight of stairs never seemed so large.

Joe was made to be a dad. He hasn't let this kid out of his sight.

And so, it begins.

And here is another picture of him, a few hours older and looking still as cute:

Good Day/Bad Day

It is done.
The era has ended.
I felt a huge surge in the force as order was restored.
W is out the door. Now we are just faced with cleaning up 8 years of domestic and foreign policy that has left us with the current clustered-state-of-the-union.
But its a start.
And watching everything yesterday was just really cool.
And more than a little jealous of friends that were there in person. But thems the breaks.
I feel like I should be writing a novella on the election and inauguration. But just not feeling the love for a long entry.
And the reason why -

Baby update:
Had our appointment on Monday -- our due date. And well, nothing has changed, other than my weight. Grr.
So, still sitting at 2 cm dilated and nothing new to report. So we are now scheduled for induction on Sunday, starting at 8 pm if he doesn't arrive between now and then.
Suffice it to say I was a little annoyed and frustrated with the world on Monday. We are holding out that maybe (just maybe) he will get motivated and decide to do this on his own, but I am not feeling really confident that will be the case.
So I am now working from home for the rest of the week. Which is probably a good thing, as I was borderline homicidal with co-workers on Monday and yesterday.


Now Listening: Get Born by Jet (coincidence, I think not)

A witches what?

I know this has been all over the news, but I still have to share.
It is cold today.
I mean, like witch-tit cold. Although not knowing any witches, or their mammary temperatures, I cannot attest to how cold that really is -- but its COLD people.
Let me lay this out for you in the best way possible.
We hit the high today at about 10 AM.
The HIGH -- as in, the most the temperature was going to be today was -5. That's not a typo. That's NEGATIVE 5.
The current temp is -9. Yes, NEGATIVE nine.
Throw in the wind chill and it feels like -26 degrees.
This makes today the coldest day in twelve years.
I am not making this up.
And so I am in the office surrounded by people in turtleneck and sweaters and I am wearing a short sleeve shirt.
Why such insanity on such a bitter cold day?
Well, I am a walking furnace these days. And to avoid some of the pitfalls of this entry (pun intended), I chose the short sleeves.

We have lost 4 more in the ever declining online pool.
There are 3 people for today -- not looking too good people and 2 for tomorrow -- wouldn't hold my breath for those either.
Joe still thinks it could be today just due to the insanity of the temperature. I think this kid knows better and isn't even THINKING about making his arrival on such a freakin' cold day.
Stay tuned.

Now Listening: Mermaid Avenue, vol 2. by Billy Bragg & Wilco

the 80/20 rule

Not sure how many of you are actually familiar with the 80/20 rule. We use it a lot in my line of work.
But here is the official definition from Wikipedia:

The Pareto principle (also known as the 80-20 rule,[1] the
law of the vital few and the principle of factor sparsity) states that, for many
events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.[2][3]
Business management thinker Joseph M. Juran
suggested the principle and named it after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who
observed that 80% of income in Italy went to 20% of the population.[2][3]
It is a common rule of thumb in business;
e.g., "80% of your sales come from 20% of your clients."

I however, am living proof of the opposite of this rule.
The Smith Principle or the 20/80 rule.
As we found out on Tuesday -- which was just yesterday, yet it seems like AGES ago -- is that we are 2 CM dilated. 1/5th of the way there...or 20%. However, that 20% of effort isn't gonna get me anywhere NEAR 80% of the needed progress to get this kid out.
Its the remaining 80% (or 4/5ths for my fraction friends) that is gonna be the death of me.
Not in a painful sort of way, although I do expect a significant level of that. No -- its the waiting to accomplish the remaining 80% that is could quite conceivably drive me over the edge.
I have become a permanent resident of Crankytown.
Some reasons for such residency:
1) Traditionally I am not a very patient person.
Strike one, as I have learned that the last few weeks of pregnancy are an exercise in testing the outer limits of your patience.
2) I plan for a living (hello, Project Manager)
Strike two, as the not knowing and more importantly, not planning, is driving me to new levels of anxiousness.
3) At the end of the day, I feel like I have been walking around with a 12 lb bowling ball strapped to my crotch.
Strike Three. Not sure how many of you have actually attempted to walk around with a bowling ball strapped to you, but I wouldn't put it on any New Years goals lists. Hell, not sure I would put it on a 1,00 thing to do before you die list.

And so, three strikes, I'm out and off to Crankytown they ship me.
And as I am right on the exit ramp to Crankytown, I am met by well-meaning people with insane suggestions on how to make this kid show up.
Drink fresh pineapple juice.
Walking
Spicy food.
Power wash my house
You get the idea.
I guess this is my caution to anyone who actually has to deal with me in person for the next few days -- I am not a terribly pleasant person right now.
Good Luck all.

Now Listening: Walk the Line Soundtrack

The fog of war

Got a call from my brother yesterday.
This in and of itself, is not that unusual -- but he was calling from the airport where he was sitting with his battalion getting ready to get on a military transport on his way to Iraq.
For the third time.
This deployment got to me. Not sure why.
Well, I think anytime you send people to war, it should be cause for concern. It just seems like how many times does a single family have to go through this?
Please understand, I was raised in a military family. My father served 22 years as a career officer. It has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I also fully understand that this is a volunteer army and Patrick enlisted when we were at war. Not like it was a surprise.
All that said, it still doesn't change the fact that it sucks.
And everyone telling me "well at least he is going to Iraq and not Afghanistan -- it has to be safer" can, in the immortal words of Tina Fey last night "suck it"
You are going to a war zone. I don't care if one is more or less stable than the other.
ITS A WAR ZONE.
That in and of itself negates any concept of safe in my mind. And when fundamentally, I am not a big fan of the war itself, it gets harder and harder to accept. But, he is a big boy and it is his choice, not mine.

Lets just hope that we can get this new administration in and start seeing some progress on all of this. Not that it will get him home any earlier. I am not that naive.
As a point of clarification, I don't think this is a result of being hormonal and pregnant. I think its the result of a sister watching her little brother go into something that NO 25 year-old kid should have to see -- much less for the 3x time. And knowing that no matter how well protected he is and how competent his commanding officers are, there is risk. Always will be.


On to the lighter portions of our programming.
The masses continue to fall on the online pool --
Against all her best lunar wishes to the contrary, Kara's date of the 11th has come and gone without any results. At least for me. One of my girlfriends who was due 4 days AFTER us (let me repeat: FOUR DAYS AFTER US) delivered a healthy little girl yesterday. So the full moon was a fair bet, just not for us. Congrats to both Sarah and Kirk on their new addition. We are super excited for them -- and eager to join the club.
We have one vote for today -- odds are looking like we won't hit that one. And two more for tomorrow. Joe is now convinced that he will decide to arrive Wednesday. When we are in the middle of more blizzard like conditions and sub-zero temps before the wind chill kicks in.
Should be an ideal time to deliver a kid.
So stayed tuned kids -- one of these days (hopefully sooner rather than later) we will have great news & pictures to share...

Now Listening: Volume One by She & Him

9 times....

Hit what should be the last of the pregnancy milestones today --
We are down to single digits on the countdown.
9 "official" days to go.
The only thing left at this point is to have this kid.
Which for someone who plans for a living, this "just wait it out" theory is really more than I can handle. But I don't have much of a choice in the matter.

Now I am in the horrible position of trying to decide -- do I try and get some work done around the house, work on thank you notes (HORRIBLY overdue at this point) or just throw in the towel and watch some football??
This is the dilemma that plagues my Saturday afternoon.

The icky truth

I will readily admit, the pregnancy roller-coaster has been an interesting one. You never know what is around the next corner ...
loop-de-loop
upside-down-triple-spiral
90-degree-drop-straight-down
And we are in the first seat of the first car for this ride, so its all just in your face.

The newest one has manifested itself in the last few days and is frankly, gross.
That of course, is my disclaimer. I mean, it is not that gross, but probably not dinner-table conversation.
Who am I kidding, 90% of the content on this blog is not dinner conversation. Moving on.
I consider myself a clean person. I bathe daily. Brush (and floss) my teeth. Wear clean clothes and deodorant. So, yes --odds are if you were to sit next to me on public transportation, I wouldn't drive you away with my stink.
Unless you have an issue with either Lush's Olive Branch bath wash or Burberry perfume.
In which case, you have no nose -- so I don't want to sit next to you either.
Bottom line: I have some basic hygienic habits.
I offer this up as if you were to see me in the last few days you might question one or two of the above actions.
Seems I have developed a sweating problem.
Like pitting-out beyond anything that you can cover up sweating problem.
I am not that hot in the office. Have tried layering to remove as it becomes an issue, short-sleeves to ensure that I am as cool as possible. Clinical strength deodorant.
Nada.
I look like that guy from the Oceans 11 series who just drips sweat all the time.
And thats the odd part -- its not like every part of me is sweating buckets.
Nope --just some good ole' nasty pit marks.
It is my true-true hope that this is another one of those "hormonal" issues that tend to plague us knocked up chicks. Because if it is -- then the end is in sight.
So in the interim, I have to wear the darkest colors I can to work - which isn't that big of a deal. Most of my clothes land squarely in the black or gray color scale. And for days that I don't, keep the fleece handy to cover-up. Of course, layering a fleece when you are (apparently) sweating buckets doesn't really help, but its what I have to deal with. The only other option would be to take a break every hour and just go stand in the parking lot until I cool off -- except I don't feel that hot and its January in Iowa. You see my dilemma.

In what could be construed as possible good news, the doctor did give me a "you are making progress" pep talk this week. There is a little change -- roughly a CM, so that means that SOMETHING is happening.
Just not quickly enough.
And frankly, I could stay at this point for 3 weeks.
Or not.
So I implore you, think good, positive labor inducing thoughts for me.
There you go - your TMI entry for the day.

Now Listening: The Very Best of Otis Redding by Otis Redding

Just sorta ...

Blah.
I feel like I should have lots to report to you, loyal reader. But, alas -- I am without inspiration today.
Really, don't even have anything to bitch about.
I mean, I am sure there is SOMETHING I could bitch about, but at this very moment, I am drawing a big, fat blank.
So - I will move on and go with a whole lotta nuthin'

Now Listening: The Mysterious Production of Eggs by Andrew Bird

The over/under

While we are not giving an over/under for this kids arrival, I have been keeping an eye on the "bets" that have come in for the size and delivery stats.
A few things for the record.

1. I should have had a cheap buy-in -- even at $5 I would have made some money. Damn hindsight.
2. Some of you really don't like me -- you have some huge baby weight on your votes. Just remember karma is a bitch.
3. While my original lure was just bragging rights, I think given we have had such great response, we will throw in some adult beverages to the winner. I mean, that is the least we can do. My original thought was to give the winner a night with the kid so Joe and I could go out. Not sure that is a reward -- who knows?

We have eliminated 2 people already -- my early birds Deb & Lindsay are out. They had yesterday and today respectively.
Next vote doesn't hit until the 11th -- my cousins wife Kara is convinced beyond a doubt that the full moon will kick this kid into gear.

And on what has become a regular pregnancy feature, my bitch of the day....
If one more, and I mean ONE MORE, person says to me in the office "Oh, you are still here?" I am going to kick some serious ass.
Really.
Yes, I am still here. I will be here until this kid shows up. And as my ESP is a little shaky these days, I do NOT know when that will be.
And unless you -- odd co-worker or two - are planning on donating vacation time to me so I DON'T have to be here stop asking the freakin' question.
Better.

Now Listening: 808s & Heartbreak by Kanye West

Talk about a buzz kill

I really hate it when a day ostensibly starts off well. On a Monday no less, and then goes to crap in like, 0.05 seconds.
I mean, last night I got to kick off new tv week with a whole new season of Rock of Love 3 on Vh1.
Its trashier.
Its WAY more fake boobier.
Its drunker (is that possible?)
And its on tour bitches!!!
Yes, Bret is taking his quest for love on the road. God love him.
So, 12 weeks of women in VERY close quarters, all vying for one mans, erm, affection.
Yeah, affection. That is what we are calling it this year.
I made Joe watch with me.
I mean, at this point, we live together. I have to fess up to the guilty pleasures.
And we laughed our asses off.
Quote of the night: "I mean, I am a Penthouse centerfold and I was the classiest one there"
Not sure what was actually funnier, the fact that we were watching it or the fact that our "commercial show" -- you know, the one you flip to when your show goes to commercial was Planet Earth on Discovery.
How you bounce between those two extremes is somewhat mind boggling, but that's how we roll.
It doesn't get any better does it?
Well, maybe ...
This morning, going for coffee as I do every morning. Place my order. Pull forward.
And get ready to hand over my money with the refill mug -- I need all the carbon credits I can get at this point -- and she tells me that some insurance sales guy is picking up every cup of coffee this morning. All I have to do is take his card.
Suh-weet.

So here I am, free coffee, still giggling like a school-girl over not one, but TWO beer-pouring on fights from last nights RoL3 and just prepping myself for all the new premiers on TV this week (yes, this is what my life has come down to) and I get to work.
And then the stupidity starts.
In spades.
All coming from one place, but jeebus.
And thus, my nice little good morning buzz -- on a MONDAY no less -- fades to black.

Now Listening: Raising Sand by Robert Plant & Alison Krauss