Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Moment.

I think that it is fair to say that at some time in most of our lives, the following sentence has escaped our lips...
"I will never act/say that like my mother".
As a teenager, you cling to that. I mean, who would want to act like a woman rocking a denim jumper with an apple/teddy bear/sunflower motif on the front and the surburban housewife helmet hair mold?
-- and for the record, the denim jumper was quite the rage in Kansas circa early 90's. I have pictures, not making it up --

And so you go on, vowing vehemently not to find yourself uttering the same phrases that routinely were heard as you went bounding out of the house.
And then, well --
There is this moment. I can't quite remember the first time, but it comes in short order. Sometime in your early 20's. The words come out, and like a bubble in a cartoon, you want to yank it back from reality. And you hear her voice in your head as you say the EXACT SAME THING that she did. Whatever the circumstance.
At that moment, you swear that is the only time it will happen.
And its totally self-delusional.

My big ones....
My mom always used to clean the house from top to bottom whenever my grandparents would come to visit. I never understood it. My thought was with 4 kids in the house, we lived in a state of clutter. Why hide the reality of the house on most days from your parents?
Yeah - right.
EVERY time people come to visit, I am a whirling dervish of cleanliness. And yes, my house on a normal day is full of clutter and more than a few dust bunnies.
The other one that used to kill me was her purse. She had the largest purse in the world. Hell, at one point she had a purse within her purse. And of course, she could never find a single thing in it, but she always had exactly what you needed in there.
And I have steadfastly held to my vow in that space. I am not going to carry a big "mom-bag".

What's that, the shadow of the crow that I am about to eat just flit across the screen??

Until recently.
Up to this point, we have had the diaper bag. And when needed, throw the wallet in and we are all set. But we have gotten beyond the pure diaper bag need. We really just need a diaper, some wipes and a toy or two... not the 8,000 things we have traditionally hiked all over with us. And this streamline need has me thinking, I don't need the whole diaper bag but, the purse I am currently carrying is too small for my stuff and a small load of Finn's stuff. So I have started looking at bigger bags.
You know the ones I am talking about - like you could fit Mary Kate AND Ashley Olson in the bag.
This is the moment my mom would be loving right now....
Like the "I told you so" moment would have been HUGE. The self gratification more rewarding than she could have imagined.
Now, I have not actually purchased said mom-bag. But it is on the horizon. There will come a day in the next few days in which you will feel a slight tremble in the cosmos -- and you will know that the deed is done. And at that point, I will have fully earned
my mom-card. Without question, my initiation into the club will have been completed. As long as I don't start rocking the mom jeans, I think I can still hold on to whatever vestiges of my former self that are still out there.
Here's hoping.

Now Listening:
To Finn bang toys....