My blog on a regular basis does not deal with serious topics. At least not seriously. But today was one of those gut-check moments for me. So if you are here in search of the usual snark and blather, might want to check back another day. Today is a little more from the heart than usual.
People are fond of saying that parenting is the hardest job on the planet. And then couching it in terms of whatever agenda they are trying to forward. I am not here to talk about the traditional roles of women, working moms vs. stay-at-home moms, or any other cause of the week.
Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do because it makes you vulnerable. And no one ever wants to be vulnerable. I have a quote on the wall of Finn’s room that goes something like this “Having a child is liking walking around with a little piece of your heart out in the world” We guard ourselves against it. We insulate ourselves from situations where that might be a possibility. But as a parent, you cannot escape it. This person, this little child is now out in the world and you will defend and protect them with every ounce of your being, with a fierceness you didn’t imagine yourself capable of. You will keep them safe. It’s a silent vow you make to yourself from the moment they enter the world. But the boogey man of every parent, the one fear that we all have that keeps you up nights, the most horrible thing that you can imagine is to lose a child. The natural order of the world is counter to the very idea. Youth, innocence, promise… those things shouldn’t be quelled before they have a chance to even be understood and developed.
Today a friend lost her baby. A very young baby. I have never met this little boy. I have seen pictures on Facebook, probably even ‘liked” a few of them. But I know his parents. They are young, vibrant, intelligent, giving people to whom this shouldn’t happen. I have cried for this little boy because I cannot imagine how else to process this information. As a mother, I cannot even begin to fathom how you begin to even breathe after something like this. My heart aches for this family. I have dealt with loss in my life. I don’t know a single person who hasn’t. Yet pretending to understand what any person is going through is futile. All I know is that this throws into very quick perspective so much of the junk that circulates and positions itself as “important” in our lives. Its not. Your family is important. Your health is important. Having a group of friends that may not know exactly what to do, but will be there no matter what is important. And yes, we will always continue to stress over money, the world that we live in, wars on distant shores, and just making it day to day. Those things have a place in the important category. But today, for this moment, I am just going to be very thankful and more than a little sad. And I plan on hugging my kids a little tighter tonight.
