Fathers Day 101

Make sure you get the gifts ordered on time from the online store.
Make sure you get cards ahead of time to have a remote chance at one that isn't either DUMB or too sappy.
Don't forget gift wrap for the ONE gift you did manage to get ahead of time.

These are a few of the things that I learned this weekend. We had a really great time. I will get the pictures downloaded sometime this week. I will say this though...
It was HOT
As HELL
HOT, HOT and HOT
Oh, and thank goodness we managed to get seats in the shade. Joe had a blast, even though the Royals lost. We saw Pujols hit a grand slam and ANOTHER home run before I left at the 7th inning.
Finn hung in there all things considered. It was, as I mentioned, HOT. But it was the noise of all the people that caused more issue than anything.
All in all a great first fathers day weekend.
Oh -- and one other thing that I learned (re-confirmed?) -- they say you should dress age appropriately. Which for the most part, I agree with. But I have never heard anyone say you should hair style age-appropriate.
But you should. Trust me. If you are 50+ years old, pig tails should be off limits.
Always.

Now Listening: To Finn scream. Good times.

I am alive

Its true.
Alive and well. Well, depends on your definition of well.
We have been all over the map and back in the last, oh shit -- month since I have posted.
That is the first time I have actually looked at the last post date. I keep telling myself I need to update the blog.
My intentions dear reader ( I dare not assume that there are multiples of you still out there) are sincere.
Its just the falling asleep watching the Daily Show every night should give you some sense of where my priorities are lying these days.
Lets see. Of course, we have pictures of the little dude. See the Flickr site for updates. We went to a wedding over Memorial Day weekend in Chicago. Had a great time. Finn got into a pool for the first time. I think he did ok. However, it was indoors but not heated, so he only lasted about 5 minutes in the water with Dad. But he did well. We did manage to get a little partying in during the reception. Big thanks to Grandpa and Grandma for taking the little dude off our hands for a few hours of baby-free adult time.
Hell, I even went to after-hours in one of the rooms. Do you have ANY idea how long its been since I did that? Or woke up the next morning in a bit of a haze. Sat up, thought about it. And decided that in fact, I DID have a headache and it was brought on from the booze the night before.
Yep - got a little bit of my big girl pants back.
Woot woot.

Also had to go out East for a few days for work. It was both slightly traumatic and totally welcome. Leaving the boys for 4 days was not my idea, but once I got out there a few things caused the a-ha moment.
--I got to sleep all night through (minus one alarm a night for some mom-cow duties)
--I got to sleep all night in a KING bed by myself.
--I got to go out for drinks after work with friends and didn't have to worry about just having one or getting home or anything for that matter.
Upon reading those, it dawns on me that in fact, I am really lame. I say this because I was excited about each of those things. In a big way.
Sad. The whole trip was of course made more traumatic due to the aforementioned mom-cowness. I wasn't about to stop breastfeeding for a business trip, so I told them I would only be able to go if I was ok to get all the milk back. 4 days of liquid gold doesn't go wasted in my book. I sent smoke signals out to all my moms--in-the-know -- with the no-liquid ban in place at airports, could I travel with my pump? Could I bring it back in my checked luggage? And my moms in the know came back in fine style. See they have this thing called the Internet, so my ever judicious, intelligent Julie looked up on TSA's website to see what the scoop was...

And here is what it said:

Now, a mother flying without her child will be able to bring breast milk through
the checkpoint, provided it is declared prior to screening.

I thinks to meself, good work on ya'. All set to go. Except that the general TSA guidelines didn't include Captain American TSA Agent at the DSM Airport. Yes, the Des Moines Airport. Not O'Hare, not Baltimore - little 3rd Tier Des Moines. So I get to the airport at 7 Am for my 8 AM flight. Had just fed Finn right before I got dropped off. Checked in. Paid my extra $$ to check my luggage (the whole flying as a convenience rant will come later) and head towards security. Take off my shoes, pull the laptop from the carrying case and drop the pump through the machine. I see the belt stop. reverse and I can tell they are looking at something. So I say, its a breast pump. Enter Captain America. He starts pulling stuff out of the bag and I say again -- its a breast pump. Keep in mind, I don't actually have any LIQUID in the damn thing at this point. And its the LIQUID that is the banned substance. So he digs around and pulls out the thermal container with the icepack and the empty bottles. He says to me "where is the infant?" I respond with a "no baby, its a business trip. But I checked your website and it said I could travel without the infant as long as I declared the milk". And then he says to me, "the bottles are empty" No shit sherlock, I haven't actually pumped anything yet as its 7:10 in the morning. And then he tells me that its not the bottles (shocker -- again EMPTY), its the icepack. He goes on to say that minus any milk to keep cold, he can't justify the ice pack. So he says "I'm going to have to throw this away" Whoa. Throw on the breaks there Mr I-Would-Waterboard-A-Terrorist-With-Your-Breast-Milk-If-There-Was-Any-In-The-Bottles. See, that icepack came with the pump. Its hard plastic, designed to fit the insulated case and the 4 bottles, so you aren’t throwing crap away. Unless you are gonna pony up the $300 for a new pump. So as the thought of just whipping out a boob and squirting him in the eye with milk floated through my head, I ask – “Not going to throw it away. What are my options?” He goes on the explain that he needs milk in the bottles. Which leaves me with one option; Pump away. He then escorts me back through the security line and tells me when I come back through to pull all the individual components out for the x-ray machine and that I will be subject to a full search. At this point let me remind you of a few things:
1. I did exactly what their own website said – declared the milk (or lack thereof)
2. Its 7:10 AM and I have JUST fed my kid. For those of you not familiar with ins and outs of milk production, you normally have to wait a little bit –at least an hour in my case – to fill the coffers back up so to speak.
3. I haven’t had a DROP of caffeine because I can’t bring any freakin’ liquids through the security check.
All this makes for one very not happy Meghan. So I go trotting off to the bathroom to pump, because the DSM Airport was built in like, 1963 and the concept of a nursing room is way outta their league. Get to the bathroom and discover what was nagging me from the minute I left the security area. There is no plug anywhere with a modicum of privacy. Don’t get me wrong. I feed Finn in public. But when you do that the kid provides a decent amount of coverage. And he works one side at a time. When you pump – well, I am not exaggerating too much when I say Mom-cow. Think waaay scaled down version of a milking machine. Both at once. And you see why you want a door or something. So I go to the bookstore and pay like $30 for some batteries. And go back and get to work. And only churn out like, 2 oz of the goods. As I am packing everything back up, I am thinking to myself, if he says ANYTHING about the amount, I will in fact go totally postal on him. So I head back up and in the course of everything, Captain America’s line had closed. I then got into the other line. Pulled everything out as instructed and waited for them to grab me for the additional screening. As it is all coming out of the x-ray machine, the woman comes around from the screen and I am like, ok – be patient and nice. And she says to me – “You know, you don’t have to pull all that stuff out of the bag. I know some people get sensitive about the breast milk.” At this point, I about hit the roof. No hassle, no impending doom. Just trying to be nice to a nursing mother. I then – rather curtly – say “Can you PLEASE share that with that guy?” And point out Captain America wasting our tax dollars on his coffee break over near the other now-closed line. She sorta apologized and I went on my way.
UGH and UGH. Morale of the Story: Always look for the woman security checker at any 3rd Tier Market airport you might be traveling to. Oh – and pour some milk (of any variety) into your bottles if you are breastfeeding and flying.
The rest of the trip was singularly uneventful. I returned home and both Joe and Finn were still in good shape. I will say, I was really glad to be gone for a few days, but I was totally ready to come home.
What for else has been happening here in the land of milk and honey? Got another year older.
Boo on that. Well, not really boo. Just sorta – meh. We are heading down to KC this weekend for Fathers Day. Gonna go see a baseball game and do some BBQ’ing with both families. Really excited about that. Of course, now I have to get many Father’s Day gifts. My dad, Joe, Joe’s Dad – my Fathers Day budget just tripled. Oh well, its all for a good reason.

Work is currently HIGH stress. Not the actual work itself. While I was out on my trip to Baltimore, I got a call from our Director informing us that the contract that currently funds oh, 99.8% of my work was being cut by 30% across the board. There were immediate lay-offs and more are in the works. So everyone around here is super tense, not knowing if they are going to lose their job and taking lots of sick days all the sudden. Makes for a real stress-free work place.
Or not.

Now Listening: A New Day at Midnight by David Gray