Monday, September 29, 2008

The Emergency Alert System

Revealing fact # 374 about living with Joe.
His alarm clock is the loudest thing I have EVER heard.

I am not a light sleeper. I have -- in the past anyway -- slept through tornado warnings, alarms at finals time, bats in my house and who knows what else. Now, I don't sleep as well but that is because I have to get up several times a night to use the bathroom. Which for someone who likes their sleep (me) is a bit of a pain in the ass.
My sleep is normally only interrupted by one of two sounds...1) my alarm or 2) my cell phone ringing.
This morning, in what I am sure will be about a once a year occurrence, Joe had to be out of the house before me.
And when his alarm went off this morning, I swear I jumped about 6 inches in bed from the shrill, 80 decibel, eardrum shattering sound it made. Now, keep in mind, in recent days things like getting out of chairs, getting up from the couch and getting out of bed have become a multi-step process. So anything that made me move that quickly was LOUD. I mean, we are talking the monthly testing of the emergency alert system loud. If I was sitting right by the speakers when they tested it loud.
It was so loud in fact that it "woke" not just me, barely woke Joe but the little leprechaun as well. Within minutes of that thing going off and launching me -- somewhat violently from my well-earned sleep -- little man was all over the joint. And by joint I mean the roughly soccer ball size area that is my insides. And frankly, he didn' t really stop all morning.

Spent the weekend down at my Dad's house for the annual block party. Like many an event that I have loved, this one too took on a new point of view when you are sober. It's not that it still isn't fun. The people are still great - but come about 11 PM when everyone has been drinking for oh, about 7 hours and you are on your 4th version of cranberry juice and... insert non-alcoholic mixer here, you just don't have the patience to sit around listening to drunk people try to out-drunk-people each other. My brother and his pressing desire to be the biggest drunk there, leading the way. Seems 2 weeks down in Texas has already instilled a "everything is bigger in Texas" mentality as he was drinking out of one of our European liter mugs. Which means, in normal people terms a big-ass glass of beer that gets warm when normal people drink it because there is SO much in there.
My same brother that it seems, will be going back to Iraq in January. For the third time.
Yeah, we will visit that topic on another day.
That is the weekend in a nutshell. There should be more -- there should always be more -- but that is what I got for tonight.

Now Watching: Monday Night Football. Oh yeah, how about those Bears last night?!? Woo Hoo.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Best EVER

Its no secret that I would have either Jon Stewart or Stephen Colberts love child.
Technically, its not a secret that I having Joe's - maybe in my current situation, that statement doesn't carry as much weight.
Appearances aside, I would. I would adore having a smart-ass, snarky little one running around telling me what to do.
Actually, I might just get my wish.
Moving on.
I am religious in my watching of both of them. Think that they are probably the closest to the truth -- or truthiness, as the case may be -- of ANY of the 24-hour news guys. And well, they make me laugh.

So in a causal perusal of the web this morning (I was waiting for the coffee to kick in.) I stumbled upon an article on Entertainment Weekly. For the record, it was linked off of CNN. com, but lets be honest, Ew. com has some great stories.
And it is an interview with not just one of my poli-humor gods, but BOTH of them.
Read it.
And then re-read it.
Genius.
I tell you we are nightly in the presence of genius.

Now Listening: Howl by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Monday, September 22, 2008

It was sorta like the commercial

I know you all have seen the commercial. It is for either MasterCard or Visa. There is a scene (coffee shop, deli or garden supply store) and there is a creative, symbiotic relationship between the people, the product and the assorted retail workers. Its like a Snow White scene for the 21st century.
All the while fueled by copious charging against the aforementioned MasterCard or Visa. It is a happy place where people purchase freely without any issues around budget, need or concern. Until it all comes to a harsh, screeching halt with someone writing a check. And I will admit, I mean, come on... use the debit card. It is easier and faster. But frankly, I have seen each of those commercials more than a dozen times, and while not totally annoyed with them, don't really give them much thought.

Until today after work.

I was at the one maternity store at the mall -- Motherhood, Mimi, something or other. Its a crap store that I wouldn't shop in except for the fact that it is one of the few, affordable options in town. I needed tights.
So I went in, and got the tights and was beat to the register by 3 women. A pregnant woman, her mother and her sister/friend. So they are talking to the woman at the register -- who kept calling them all "Hon" and sharing her horror stories of pregnancy -- she gained 100 lbs with her first kid. So pregnant woman makes her purchase.
Writes a check.
Pregnant womans mother gets a few more things for pregnant daughter.
Writes a check.
Pregnant womans friend/sister buys SOMETHING else for her
And you guessed it..
Writes a check.

So one group of purchases that should have taken less than 5 minutes, takes like 15. Because each on has to show id, get the approval, sign something, write the check and then ask 3 times what the amount was as they couldn't follow her the first 2 times.

It really was like the freakin' commercial. And then I found out why. They weren't from DSM. They were from some small town, like an hour away and had come into "the BIG city" for the day to shop. See I forget that for all the bitching I do about Des Moines, and its size, it is still the largest city in the state. And with few exceptions, if you drive 30 minutes in any direction of DSM, you are in farm country.
Apparently outside of the metro area, you don't use plastic.
Ugh.
New rule: if you are going to plan a shopping trip in the "big city", warm the plastic up.

Now Watching: A Cialis commercial and trying to figure out who in their right mind doesn't know that an erection lasting more than 4 hours is a problem.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Two Wheelin' Attitude

Iowa is a bike state.
Big time.
And I don't mean motorbikes...
I mean, pedal, work your butt off (or get the right calluses) bicycles.
We have trails. And major events.
There is RAGBRAI (Registers(as in Des Moines Register) Annual Great Bike Race Across Iowa) which I detailed once upon a time -- ok, in digging that one up a LONG time ago.
People do all day bike rides/pub crawls - which I think could be its own entry as that just sounds like something that shouldn't be combined.
Every night from March - Oct -- you see people of all shapes and sizes in all the biking gear, and yes, all shapes and sizes in spandex. It's a hidden camera gem.
So to get back to my earlier point, Iowa is a bike state.

Yesterday I was on my way back from the Farmers Market and stopped at an intersection. It was downtown so it was like 3/4 lanes of one way intersecting with another 3/4 lanes of one way. There was a family of 4 biking in the far right lane. And they have the right of way. That is the rule. They were coming to the intersection and taking a right onto the street. There was a SUV behind them that apparently didn't like the pace in which they were moving. So she honked. To which the father of said family who was the last in the line of the 4 gave her the bird.
Which in and of itself was pretty entertaining as, while I have heard bikers bitch about not getting the appropriate respect on the road, I have NEVER actually seen one of them lash out even in that fashion.
So as he is turning the corner, he throws down his bike and waits for the SUV to make the turn and starts just yelling at this woman. And it wasn't like a "Screw You" and move on... he had something to say. And he did. To the point where the woman started shouting back.
The whole thing just struck me as really funny. Until I realized that as the woman was stopped in my lane, I almost missed my green light.

So me finding this whole thing funny got me thinking, am I the only one who sees stuff like this and finds it amusing? Enough to actually write about it? Or do other people see it and just brush it off, like no big deal? Is my brain really wired that much differently?
I throw that question out there into the ether with trepidation and a little concern as to what the answer could be, but brave blogger that I am, I am willing to deal with the response.

In other news, well I really have no other news. Had a little mini-girls night out last night. Ate some cheese I probably shouldn't have, had a few sips of wine I shouldn't have and then had sushi. Which, I did use some discretion and only had either vegetarian or cooked versions.
But all in all, it was a night of pure pregnancy rebellion.
Woo hoo.
That's right kids. Getting crazy at week 23.
WATCH OUT!
Ok, so I exaggerate a little bit. But you can only be told "no" so many times before you kinda just say "fuck it" and rebel a little. Thus, I had the cheese (and it was good) and a few sips of wine (even better) and a band-aid for my continuous sushi craving.
Here's hoping it gets me through the next 17 weeks.


And that really is about it.
Now I am going to go ride a bike 20 miles. Oh wait, that is another in the long line of NO's.
And I wouldn't have done that anyway -- pregnant or not. And its football Sunday. All bets are off for my attention span unless it has a pigskin, full pads and guys with names like Forte and Urlacher.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Musical Pedigree

Had a rather enjoyable evening last night.
Managed to score a last minute ticket to go see Neko Case in concert here in the big DSM. She of a number of solo, what I would call Alt-Country albums and The New Pornographers fame.
Suffice it to say, when the good tunes come through town, you need to go to the show. And so, courtesy of my friend Liz, I was able to get in on the action.
The show was really great. It was one of those small-ish venues (maybe 1800? people, not sure how many the theatre at Hoyt holds) where you recognize a bunch of people from other like-minded shows. That and as you are chilling between the opening act and the main show, sipping on your water (YUM!) -- people watching and asking yourself "Who are these people? Do they live in Des Moines? And how have I never seen them before?"
See, sometimes I think that Des Moines is so small and my social sphere so wide that I MUST have run into everyone in town that is worth running into.
Oh wait.
Yeah.
Aside from being a ridiculous thought, the fact is that I don't get out as much as I used to and well, there are hip people in town that I don't know. Which is sorta a tragedy -- but one I shall overcome.
At least I hope to.

So aside from catching a GREAT live act last night with some GREAT girlfriends, we got a little taste of the little leprechauns musical preferences.
Before the show, we all met up at a new bar that just opened in town called The Underground.
No, not named for the subway in Des Moines, there isn't one. Shocker I know.
But as it is a basement bar -- it is therefore UNDERGROUND.
Ahh, the wit of this town just never ends.
So anyway -- it was early, the bar just opened last week, so we pretty much had the place to ourselves. And naturally, we hit the jukebox pretty heavily. Which frankly, is one of the better bar jukeboxes I have seen in ages.
At one point, Radiohead came on -- and little dude went slightly berserk. Moving and kicking all over the joint.
So either he LOVES Radiohead or HATES Radiohead.
As he is my son - we are going with LOVE. This has led me to wonder, what other music moves the kid? He wasn't that active during the actual concert -- which was much louder than at the bar. Now I have to start working my way through my iPod, loudly, and seeing which stuff he responds to.
Its a worthy challenge and one I am up to. So stay tuned. Will he stay true to his Brit-Pop sensibilities identified yesterday or will other genres get him moving?

Oh, and in another striking revelation....
We discovered that I am just as bad at Golden Strike bowling as I am with the real thing.
In fact, one could argue -- WORSE. Which is sorta impressive if you think about it.
And this fall, I have backed out of the league play.
I know, I know -- but Meghan, you are thinking -- we loved living through your horrific bowling Thursdays. Well kids -- so did I.
But it was a weird deal this time. As was mentioned in previous posts -- one of our team members was killed in a car accident earlier this summer. So that in and of itself put a real damper on any resurgence of the team.
And well, I be knocked up. Sitting around every Thursday watching people get drunker and drunker while I get fatter and fatter just didn't hold a lot of appeal for me.
So we opted out this season. And I don't feel that anyone in the league is going to be like, Where is that sassy redhead and her orange fury?
Not so much.

Now Listening: The Id by Macy Gray

Monday, September 15, 2008

Working through the kinks or is it kicks?

It has been a bit of a crazy week. At least that is my excuse for not posting more last week.
Or at all really.
So a brief re-cap of the week.
We had ultrasound.
Newest stats:
Me: 4 lbs more this month. Whee.
Little Leprechaun: 14 oz and starting to move all over the place. At least as long as there is real estate to move around in.
Week: Last week was 21/22 -- so we are just over the half point.

And in other baby news, we registered this past week.
Allow me to shed some light on this situation. I am one of 4 kids. I have 30+ cousins on each side of my family. I have been babysitting since I was about 10 years old.
Kids, in principal do not freak me out.
The stuff that they use, does not freak me out.
I consider myself somewhat literate when it comes to the kid stuff. I know what it is, I know what it does and for the most part, I know what it is called.
And then we went to register.
And 20 some odd years of kid-friendly existence went **poof**
It is an overwhelming experience.
I mean, how do I know how many waterproof crib pads I am going to need?
How many diapers?
The right tub set?
Which freakin' baby lotion do you choose?
I mean, these are the debates that we were having. It took a good solid 2 hours to get through it.
And for the record, Babies R Us actually provides a list of "suggested" items.
Now, I am sure that a good section of those are suggested for their bottom line.
But it was a start.
So I then took Martine back on Sunday to review it and make sure we didn't really goof up. And then my cousin Kara took a look as well.
Between the two of them, I feel like we have righted a few wrongs and updated in the right direction. Of course, I say that now. Day one with the kid at home and we will be like, where in the hell is the ----???

Little Leprechaun has started kicking at little more regularly. At least that I can feel. Found out that I have an anterior placenta -- which basically means my placenta has been acting like a shock absorber for the last 5 months. And that is why I just starting feeling anything. I am told to enjoy this for right now as in a few more weeks, my insides will be turned into a kickboxing clinic.

Work is a little crazy. Got some interesting news this week. Long story short the client that we work for -- the only client that my contract line does work for -- is opening up our contract bids out. Which had a bunch of people freaking out about whether they will be able to keep their jobs etc.
First of all, its the government. NOTHING goes quickly with them. And frankly, we don't know what we don't know. So time will tell. Suffice it to say, I am a smidge worried, but not losing any sleep over it.

So there you go. The three paragraph update on the last week.
Back to the grind this week we go.

Now Watching: Monday Night Pre-game on ESPN. Yes, I am a dork.

Monday, September 08, 2008

The Last of the Firsts

I have to say that I have been dreading today for some time now.
Its the uncertainty factor of how am I going to react to everything more so than the day itself.
My mom died a year ago today.
The weird part is that I can't believe it has been a year. It seems so long ago. And yet, I could still give you a minute by minute detail of that day. In fact, every time I have looked at a clock today, I knew exactly where I was and what was going on.
The even crazier part of all of this is where I am at a year after the fact.
There is no way, no way at all that when all this happened last year I could have even in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be at this point in my life right now.
And in the craziest part of the circle of life day that today sorta is, we had our ultrasound today at the doctors office.
Ironic that as we are saying good bye to the last first -- we have all had birthdays, hit every major holiday and today the first anniversary of her death, I got to see pictures of my son on a TV screen.
And he is healthy, has all ten fingers and toes and is a surprising 14 oz at this point (21 weeks). You can see them too -- hit my Flickr link on the left.
I think that made the day better -- yet at the same time, more than a little bittersweet.
My family is all together today -- I just couldn't see the sense in taking a day off of work. Better to have something to keep me occupied, rather than sitting at home thinking about it.
Besides, life does in fact go on -- and me sitting around year after year on this day being especially sad, morose, or whatever doesn't really add up to how my mom lived her life. That wasn't her thing.
She would have looked at me and after a few comforting words basically told me to get over it.
At the end of the day though, it doesn't change the fact that not a day goes by that I don't miss the hell out of her. Especially now. Not that being pregnant has changed the fact that I miss her. Far from it, but to go through this without her is ...well, it just sucks. Not that everyone else hasn't been great. But its not the same. And like everything else with this situation you intelligently KNOW that its gonna be rough when you hit stuff like this. The reality of it however, is a whole different story.
So you cry a little, get a little pissed and at the end of the day, realize that there is another day and you still have a whole life ahead of you.
And that kids is what matters.

Now Listening: Till the Sun Turns Black by Ray LaMontagne

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Further signs of losing it

I was up early this morning as I can rarely sleep in these days. That and I go to bed WAY earlier than I used to.
I mean my big Saturday night was a trip to Target and making some banana bread.

Having re-read that sentence, I think I just threw up in mouth in mourning for my life.

For what it is worth, I ran into another girl I know who is pregnant and her husband works in the restaurant industry and minus the banana bread, she was doing pretty much the same thing I was.
Proof that I am not pathetic? Maybe. But I took it as such.

Among the many wives tales and myths is the concept of pregnancy brain. Or as a co-worker of mine calls it, placenta head.
The theory being -- and I think this one might have actually been proven by science -- is that during pregnancy, you have a tendency to get forgetful. Or scatter-brained, or basically blonde.
No offense to my blonde readers.
This has always posed a problem for me as I consider myself a fairly on-top of it person. Not to mention my job is highly dependent on me staying on top of details.

That stage being set, back to this morning. I get up, take a look around the house, and go to make some coffee.
Grind the beans.
Pour in the water.
Get the filter.
Turn on coffee pot.
Move on.
So about 10 minutes later, I am back in the kitchen ready for a cup o' joe and the coffee pot looks really clear.

I look again.
I have just brewed a nice hot pot of .... water.
Forgot to actually put the coffee in the coffee maker.
Smart.
Very smart. And for someone who is not a morning person, REALLY annoying. All I wanted was a cup of coffee. The one cup of coffee a day I am allowed to have. And I wanted it right then.
Instead, I had to wait.
I mean, it wasn't like Juan Valdez had to go back down to South America to get a fresh pot, but it was the principal of the matter.
The exciting part of this? 4 more months. I mean, what if I get to work without pants or something one day? Can I expect to get that forgetful?
The joys of a uber-hormonal existence.
Whee.

Now Watching: ESPN NFL pre-game. Yay regular season football is back!!

Saturday, September 06, 2008

It wasn't like the earth moving or anything

Or any of the aforementioned described sensations.
But I am fairly confident that this morning we had movement. No tickling, no fluttering, no freakin' butterflies or goldfish - which, for the record still gives me the heeby-jeebies to think of.
Nope.
It was more like a series of light taps. From the inside.
Like a little knock-knock, whose there sort of thing.
And then in more babieness -- we went to the local hospitals open house today. Got a bag full of free stuff that we just sorta looked at and went, what on earth do we do with this stuff?
Did get registered for a $1,000 Babies R Us shopping spree (cross your fingers)
And got signed up for birthing classes AND toured their maternity ward.

Lots o' baby today.
The idea of birthing classes still freaks me out a little bit. Not to mention, it will be 2 hours a week for 6 weeks -- um -- how many different birth videos can they show us? And how many breathing techniques can there be?
And most importantly, how badly do they want to freak me out?
Answer over six weeks seems to be a lot.
Yay.

The whole day was really -- well, parental.
And Joe and I just kept looking at each other and thinking "what on earth have we gotten ourselves into?"
Stay tuned for more details.

Now Watching: College football.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Grr. Double Grr.

It's an "I-told-you-so" sorta day.
Like, I want to just tattoo it on my forehead and march self-righteously around the office, basking in my ability to see into the future as it unfolds as predicted.
Hmn, Meghan, bitter much?

That and I caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror yesterday at work.
Allow me to break this down:

My ass- fat and expanding.
My boobs - ginormous with no stoppage in sight.
My stomach - ballooning. This is the only body part that I am even pseudo ok with at the moment. The caveat being that I am not really down with rapidly expanding body parts but as there is a baby in there, ok with it. And as he grows so do I.

At first I thought it was the pants I was wearing.
And then I changed when I got home.
BAM! Like a bolt of lightening it hit. Wasn't the pants.
According to all the books, emails, websites etc I should be entering the active weight-gain phase. Like a pound a week from here on out.
Yes. That would be roughly 20 more lbs before it is all said and done.
Which at the rate I am going, will plant itself solely on my ass.
With maybe a 70/30 split to my boobs.
Nope, not bitter.
Not bitter at all.

Now Listening: to my phone ring non-stop.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Blinding Flash of the Obvious

I was driving back from lunch today when I saw something that totally made me go Hmmn...
As in ...Things that Make You Go Hmmnn
Remember that song? I am dating myself big time.
I can't even remember who sang that ... C+C Music Factory?

Short pause for Google confirmation.....
And yes -- I was right. Not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Jumps back on track.

Again, coming back from lunch today, stopped at a light waiting for it to change when a guy on a motorcycle drives by.
This in and of itself, not odd.
It was his attire that caught my eye.
Jeans.
Check.
Motorcycle boots of some sort.
Check.
Helmet.
Check.
Shirt.
No.
So, you are concerned enough to wear a helmet, but the fact that your entire torso would be shredded to total bits should anything happen to you is not a concern?
Oh wait, all those tattoos will protect you? Is that it?
I mean come on.
And I say this from a very pro-motorcycle standpoint.
I never wore a helmet when riding -- and that is not a bragging point, just fact.
My thinking was, if it comes down to it, helmet not going to do that much.
So this guy says to himself, well -- need the helmet, shirt/riding jacket, not so much.
These are the things that go on in my brain.
A little insight is a good thing for all of you.

One more comment on the whole moving thing.
I have spent all weekend surrounded by boxes and piles of crap. Actually, I have spent about the last two weeks in that state and the next two aren't looking much better.
However, I thought I was doing well. Two trips to the Salvo with a bunch of crap that I thought for sure was all the crap that really needed to be tossed.
Uh uh.
Not even close.
So as Joe and I are lamenting the fact that we have a ton of shit -- operative word, shit -- what do we do?
We go to Target and spend like $200 on MORE shit.
How is this?
I mean, I still have a maze of boxes in my house, no idea where half my stuff is and the answer is lets go shopping?!?!?
This just confirms that I need help.

For further weekend coverage --
Congrats to my cousin Brian and his new bride Shannon. Their wedding on Friday was lovely. Also got to see all the mini-munchkins that are now taking over the family events. Which was cool. Both my cousins girls are gorgeous and happy little ones.
Odd to think that I will be adding to the mix.
Met Joe's grandpa on Saturday. Which was really quite nice. He is a good guy. Known affectionately within the retirement community as "The Mayor" since he knows everyone. I found out later that I passed inspection with flying colors.
Whew.
Conversely, Joe was a hit with the family as well.
At least those that he met. We still have about half of my dad's family and most of my mom's family to go. And as for my mom's family, there is only a small portion that 1) he would actually have the time to meet and 2) that I really care all that much about.
Bad Meghan. Shouldn't throw karma like that out there.

Alrighty then, I should get back to it. Although work concentration right now is WAY low. I am thinking of all the things that still need attention at the batcave. Pun intended.

Now Listening: The Reminder by Feist