feel like crap

ok- i am a horrible, lousy friend.
i have been planning this trip to DC to do wedding stuff with julie for about a month.
with all the insanity the last few weeks, i have been waiting to buy the tickets, etc.
now, i got paid, paid bills and oh-- i have no $$ for the trip. somewhere along the lines, i spent $300 in omaha the weekend of my grandpa's funeral. not sure how that happened.
bottom line is i can't go to dc and i feel like the biggest loser on the planet.
i jmean she maid appt. to see people and try on dresses and what do i do"? back out.
after all the math last night, and feeling like total crap about it, i woke up with a big ole' cold sore on my lip today. which is awesome. it feels great and looks terrifc.
actually, it is probably what i deserve for not planning a little better...at least with the $$. If i could find a way to swing the airfare, i could do it..but i can't seem to work that out in my head. short of asking someone to pay for the ticket and i can pay them back ...which is not going to happen.
ironically, i just checked expedia. even today i could get a flight for $250...how is it that i don't have $250 to spare? because between 2 trips to omaha, a trip home and a trip to chicago in the last month i have dropped about $1200. that kinda killed the travel budget for a little while.

i suck.