Not even sure where to start today. I know its Monday. Which tends to translate to crap work day. This is one of those days, where I have meetings literally from 9 AM to 4 PM. A day when lunch is a luxury. A day where I essentially get nothing done as I am in meetings all day talking about what I should be doing. It is always a joy, lets just say that.
It started this morning with the idiots on the interstate. Now, I know people are not perfect like me. I mean, who can be?? And yes, it has been quite a while since I took drivers ed. Like, 17/18 years. And no, that doesn't make me ancient. I learned to drive in Kansas. In in rural America for years and years, you could get a learners permit at like, 14. Yes - lets hear for those old farm rules that needed kids to run errands into "town" for them. But we took advantage of it. That being said, there are certain things that still stick with me to this day. One of the primary ones concerns interstate driving. If you are on the interstate and coming up where an on-ramp will merge with traffic AND you are in the right lane -- unless there is someone right next to you -- GET THE HELL OVER!
Seems simple.
But they don't. So then I have to slow down, shoot into the next gap, and then slow everyone else down behind me which pisses them off.
Really. Just get over.
Maybe people in Iowa didn't take drivers ed. Or have really bad long-term retention. Or don't care. Or are oblivious. Or stupid.
Nonetheless -- it hurts. And doesn't make me very happy at 8 AM. Which is not a hard thing to do, but making that morning grumpiness worse is never a pretty thing.
Yesterday was a day. Over the last few days I have received several boxes of maternity clothes from co-workers and family -- big thanks to Molly and Kara for the contributions. This has caused me to go - hm, where am I am going to put all this stuff? Which then made me realize that I was going to have to go through all my clothes and do a very late spring cleaning. So piles that will be going to the Salvo (translation: Salvation Army) and piles that will be washed and then put away as they no longer fit. Or are about a week to ten days from being too tight. Which brings me to my bitch of the day. Let's talk clothes, body image and all that good stuff that people spend a lot of time talking about on TV.
As you may have figured out on your own -- being pregnant brings with it a certain expectation for growth. And that growth varies from person to person. So here I am between 13 & 14 weeks and pretty much out of most of my pants. The ones that still fit are tight, so you need a looser shirt over them to cover up the fat rolling over the top of those aka the muffin-top. Conversely, the maternity pants -- and yes, you can just say goodbye to buttons. Nothing screams pregnant like elastic -- are too loose. So then your challenge is finding a shirt long enough to cover the aforementioned REALLY attractive elastic panel on the front of the pant. So your options are -- just to recap: 1) too tight and that looks hot or 2) too loose and baggy which looks equally hot and makes you roughly the size of a house.
So basically, I just feel fat. I don't look preggers. But, look like I have gained some weight. Which is actually odd, as I lost weight at my first appointment and only gained like a 1/2 lb. last month. But optical illusion be damned - I look fat.
Now, my response to all my friends when faced with this situation has always been "But it's ok - you are going to gain weight. You have a good reason to gain weight. And you are not fat. You are having a baby"
Well, I will go on record now, a big plate of crow in my hands and say this to all the women in my life with whom I have had the above conversation --- I AM SORRY.
It doesn't matter.
You feel fat and nothing fits. And that in and of itself, sucks ass.
So on top of maybe still not feeling better or possibly just seeing the light at the end of the morning-sickness tunnel, you are now faced with this harsh reality.
It's the kind of thing that in the past would have drove me to drink. I mean, nothing can't be fixed with a few cocktails on a patio with girlfriends.
My solution to the in-between stage that I currently live in?
Ice Cream.
Yep, you read that right. Nothing helps a little self-esteem/body perception issue like ice cream.
The worst part is this is only the beginning. There is SO much more of this down the road.
I can only hope that ColdStone Creamery sells in bulk.
Now Listening: Viva La Vida by Coldplay
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