I am amazed how the hormones currently coursing through my body can turn me into a she-beast at a moments notice.
Today is one of those days.
No reason in particular. Nothing really triggered it, just overall crab-ass.
Which leads me to the following bitch (rant, complaint, vent -- call it what you will)
I will caveat all of this with -- I know this is old territory for anyone that has had a kid and I know that this is not the least of the annoying things that people will do in the next 5 months, however, it is bugging the crap out of me today and I need to get it out of the noggin lest I go nutty.
Hold on to your hats kids, the ride is about to start.
Don't call me "Momma". Especially in a a group of people. 1) I am not your momma. 2) I am not technically a mother yet. 3) I don't want my own kid calling me momma. Not to mention it brings to mind these images of an old, overweight couple sitting on their front porch, in their overalls calling each "Mother" and "Father". Um. No. Hells no.
There is no need at all to remind me that I am "eating for two". No shit. Technically, eating for two is old wives tale. See, I talked to the doctor and I only actually need an extra 200-300 calories a day. Not an extra 2,000. And when I say I am going to get something to eat, don't make some stupid comment about pickles and ice cream. I get it. You know pregnant women have cravings. However, lunch does not constitute a craving. And of course, the people that like to broach the eating for two myth are the same people that will do one of two things -- 1) remind me not to gain to much weight -- gosh thanks. Or 2) tell me that during their pregnancy they only gained 12 lbs. Or something like that. Again, thanks. Tell it to someone who cares.
Unsolicited advice. Now, I know that this one is loaded. As it has only just begun. But I feel that I am in a unique place (and probably not really, but that is how I feel) in that I work with a ton of nurses. Now, they are not currently practicing nurses, but all keep their RN status current, etc. AND most of them have been out of active practice for going on 10+ years, if not more. So, according to them, I can't drink coffee, dye my hair, eat too much, be out in the sun too long, can't use bug spray, am going to get huge, etc, etc, etc.... You see where this is going. Newsflash: you are not my doctor. I did not ask for your advice. I am a smart person, should I be concerned about ANY of the above issues I would ask MY DOCTOR. The one that I see once a month. The one that specializes in bringing kids into the world, the one that is current on my medical history and what I can and can't do.
And no, you can't touch my stomach. Do I ask to touch yours? Exactly.
The worst offenders of this bunch -- MEN. Yeah, Dr. Spock, tell me what I can and can't do. That's just great. Is that advice from when you where pregnant? No? Then cram it.
And the last one of the day -- the whole "you don't look pregnant" brigade. These people have led me to one of two conclusions. Either people I consider friends (or at least acquaintances) are lying to me or two, I was way fatter than I thought I was pre-pregnancy. Because I assure you. I look like something is going on. Failure to admit that I at least look like I have put on a few pounds around the middle is just stupid. And frankly, telling me that I look a little pregnant is WAY better than people saying that I don't look it because trust me -- I feel it.
Whew. I feel somewhat better. Not great, but better.
Bottom line, if you read this today -- don't do any of the above and yes, you might want to just steer clear of me.
Now Listening: Little Plastic Castles by Ani DiFranco
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