You did NOT just say that

Its been a week.
Just one thing after another.
So much so, that even my normal amount of bitching seems extreme to me.
Which is saying alot.
But I think the cherry on the sundae came yesterday.
I have sorta begun to insulate myself from the annoyance that comes with the following questions:
"How are you feeling?"
Now, I know people are asking because they care --at least I have deluded myself into thinking that. Its just after the 5,749th time you get asked that in a 48 hour span, you tend to get a little, what's the word.... oh yeah -- annoyed as hell.
However, when I tell them "Fine", I often get this disappointed look. Like somehow they were expecting a horror story of sorts. Sorry to disappoint.
Yesterday afternoon I was at work - where I spend the bulk of my hours these days. And a co-worker asked me the above loaded question, prefaced with my other new favorite....
"You are so cute pregnant"
Erm, nope.
I am learning to just smile, shut my mouth and say thank you. You cannot understand how hard even that is.
Back to the story at hand.
So I get the cute comment, then I get the million-dollar annoyance question.
I reply with my standard -- "Feeling really good. Getting bigger by the day, but good."
And she says - and this was roughly the time in which I wanted to take my shoe and beat her to a pulp --
"You know, it can't be that bad. I mean I have never been pregnant, but how bad can it get?"

Yes, that line you see in front of me. You just crossed it.
Now a little perspective here. I really have been pretty lucky with my pregnancy up to this point. But let me just shower you with a little bit of reality:
I haven't had a good nights sleep in like, a month. And don't expect this to change for well, the next 5 years.
Cherries give me heartburn. Yes - cherries. Not even eating a whole cherry. It was on a danish.
I can't climb a flight of stairs without getting winded.
Putting on shoes and socks has become a major effort
And god forbid I drop something -- which I do with alarming regularity as my joints loosen up -- because it takes 10 minutes to pick it up.

And these aren't major.
I have had friends on bed rest for 30 plus days.
Friends that were sick the entire time.
All kinds of issues.
And we haven't even TALKED about the whole getting the kid out of me process. And I can't even start on that topic as I haven't done it yet --- but you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that labor and delivery can in fact, be "that bad"

So, Ms. It-can't-be-that-bad ......
Run.
Run as fast as you can.
And take heart in that even if you can't run fast, I probably wouldn't be able to catch up with you anyway.
Because, a beating is at hand.

Now Listening: Whitechocolatespaceegg by Liz Phair