Thursday, April 26, 2007
Noah & His Ark -- also known as a redhead and her shop-vac
For those of you that do not spend hours perusing either weather.com or watching the latest, greatest SUPER-MEGA-UBER-MINE-IS-BETTER-THAN-YOURS Doppler radar, it has been raining here in Des Moines.
For three days
A lot.
Rain
Rain
Rain.
So, as mentioned in the previous post -- today even -- I moved into a house recently.
A older house. Full of charm and character, and as fate would have it a rather blocked main line between said charming house and the city drainage system.
So Monday night (Tuesday? All the days are running together), I went down to check the basement.
Side note: basement is unfinished and only has the kitty bathroom and some storage in it.
Noticed a little bit of water. Nothing major, so clean up and go along with my night.
fast forward to yesterday morning
wait, is that possible?? Never mind.
Yesterday morning, as I was leaving for work, I thought to myself:
"Self, I should go check the basement as it rained all night"
Well, a few steps down and the reality of my world hit me like a 10 foot wave at high tide.
My basement -- all roughly 1000 sq. feet of it -- was covered in about 2-3" of water.
AWESOME.
Quite a site to behold before I have had coffee.
My immediate thought was -- "I have pissed someone in the cosmos off"
And then one of my cats came dashing down the steps, ran through the water and decided it was a cool toy -- you could SPLASH it.
For the record, never seen a cat do that. But there she was -- Boris playing in the water.
And yes, it was clean water. Don't even want to think about the other option.
Now keep in mind a few things:
A. It was STILL raining outside.
2. I was wearing dress clothes.
III. I had a TON of meetings all morning.
Four. I am not the owner of any giant suction devices that could somehow rid my basement of all the aforementioned water.
So, I decided on a course of action. I called the landlord, left a VM, got in my car, got my coffee went to work and decided that over lunch (after my many important meetings) I would go to Lowe's or whatever the mega-home store is down the street from the office, buy a shop-vac and commence in the cleaning.
So fast forward to noon. Buy shop-vac and shop-vac accessories. Easy how quickly THAT adds up.
Head home.
Change clothes
And begin.
I found out something very quickly. When you have that much water, filling a 16 gallon shop-vac takes about a minute and a half. Carrying said shop-vac up the stairs -- like 10 minutes and that was with half of it spilling all over me.
Good times.
Good, shop-vac times.
So, plan B.
Position shop-vac at top of stairs. Find duct tape. Secure extension tube to end of shop-vac.
Suck out water.
This worked. So there I was, sitting on my steps, emptying the damn thing roughly every 2 minutes and lost count of how many I had filled somewhere after 18.
All the while, not noticing ANY change in the water levels in the basement.
Oh yeah - I did move the litter boxes upstairs to avoid any accidents.
So, its like 5PM - I have been at this for several hours. Still haven't heard from the landlady. Back is getting tired. Hands are sore and not a single part of me is dry.
Oh, and its still raining.
Then I get a message from a friend who is in a similar position. Except he has carpet.
Now THAT sucks.
And the landlord calls. Finally.
So she comes over. Takes one look and is like, if you hadn't been working all day, it would kinda be funny.
Yeah. Freakin' hysterical. My sides hurt from laughing so hard.
She then says, no, not a leak. It has to be the main drain that is backed up. I will call my guy.
So, at that point, I am wet, cold and beat up. And I stop with the shop-vac
STEP AWAY FROM THE SHOP-VAC
Cue the bottle of wine.
Check.
So, I made dinner, had some wine, hung out with Martine. Watched the most ridiculous American Idol elimination show EVER and finally around 7:30ish, knock on the door.
The sewer/plumber guy.
Goes down to the basement, takes one look around, says "Yep, seen about 5 houses with this tonight."
Goes out to his truck, grabs a PLUNGER, plunges the drain, does something else in the other room and low and behold, just like you were in the tub, you can see the swirling vortex of water draining down.
He then comments on the tattoo on my foot -- he liked it -- tells me it will need to drain overnight, but that should take care of it and left.
10 minutes from start to finish.
10 minutes.
I spent 4.5 hours with the damn shop-vac lifting, dumping, getting wet and it took him 10 minutes.
I am in the wrong industry.
Or I need a guy around the house. But that is another entry.
So this morning, most of the water was gone, the dove came back with the olive branch indicating land was nearby and now I just have to clean up and throw away all the boxes that are totally trashed.
And I am sore. Massage on Monday totally went to waste.
So -- lets hope no more rain.
And if not, well I have a $4 plunger and a $200 shop-vac. I am all set.
What? I have a blog?
Psst. Is anyone there?
Hello?!?!!? She shouts into the great abyss that is the intertron...
I somehow seriously doubt that anyone still reads this. Although I have been poked a few times in the last few weeks to get my ass in gear and start keeping this thing current.
**Poke, Poke**
Ok. So here I am. Like 6 months since my last post.
And oh how things have changed. And yet, stayed the same.
In the Change Department:
New Job - in late January.
New House - in late February
New Haircut -- does that really count? I cut my hair all the time.
Adam & Jess - now married.
Brother - back in Iraq. Woo hoo.
In the Same Department:
Work - still stressful, just in a new way.
Personal life - single again.
Mom - still sick -- but doing pretty good. So, don't get too worried on that one.
I am sure both lists could be expanded quite a bit. Its the detail that is evading me at the moment.
So for the changes.
New job. Good move. It was tough to leave Lightedge again. Again -- I think they already have a pool started to see when I will be going back. Hah! No - this time Meghan has moved on. Went to a company that is larger (400+) and has a much more structured project management office. Also got a nice raise to go with it. And no matter what they say, that never hurts. Of course, I switched industries, so I spent the first month just trying to figure out what in the hell people were actually talking about.
New House. Equally good move. I had just HAD it with apartment living. The noise, the lack of space, the noise, the lack of space. You get the drift. So, I started looking for houses/duplexes. Through a series of events I managed to find the one I am in now. Its sorta weird in that it is rent-to-own, but given the events of the last 48 hours I am glad I still have a landlord. At least now. And there will more than likely be a post regarding the last 48 hours, so stay tuned. Two posts in one day MIGHT just sent you all into shock, but it is a risk I am willing to take.
Anyhoo -- house is good. Lots of space. Yard. Garage. The whole she-bang. Of course, now I have started Operation BUY LOTS OF FURNITURE. Its a work in progress.
Adam & Jess. Officially became the Whitney's last Saturday. Congrats to them. Great time was had by all. Wishing them nothing but the best.
And Patrick. Yep. Back in Iraq. Not sure how much more I can say about that.
In the same column:
Yes, yes and yes.
I do feel that I owe more explanation on the same category, but going to let that one sit for the time being. Not feeling quite as snarky as I need to be for that group of explanations.
And so I am out. Stay tuned for the fable of Noah and his Ark. Its a good one. I promise.
Out.
Oh -
Now Playing: Let's Go Crazy
Prince
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Finally - My 15 Minutes
So I know it has been awhile. But here I am ready to blow my own horn.
Yes - I have made it into The Juice. This is a goal I have aspired to for many months now.
**for those of you who cannot detect the sarcasm in the above statement, please leave the blog now. Go. I said GO!!**
Click here to see the full deal.
I offer you these observations:
1. Terrible picture. Somone should say something to me when I look that horrible. When did I get squinty eyed?
2. Can anyone offer ANY reason under the sun why it was necessary to publish my age?? Does it matter? WHY?? I mean -- leave em' guessing.
Anyway. There it is.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Your Friday Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, there was a lovely young woman -- ok, maybe pushing it a little on the young, but this is a fairy tale and I am writing it.
Anyway, our lovely -- and hot -- young red head had recently started participating in cultural ritual known in some circles as "dating". The object of her affection was a young man -- and yes, YOUNG man, not using creative license on that one - named Joe. He was cute and a chef. Not a skinny chef. My mother always said never trust a skinny chef.
I digress.
Days passed and the happy couple discussed all sorts of things that were important to the kingdom. One day, the young hero said to the fair lady, "I would like you to meet the rest of my family" And she agreed, and so a proclamation went forth throughout the kingdom. Meghan would be dining with Joe and his family in celebration of his youngest brothers birthday. Joe then told his family about our heroine -- regaling them with tales of her beauty, wit, intelligence and overall wonderfulness (remember, this is MY fairy tale, I get to exaggerate where I want to).
As she approached the large castle like fortress that was called Cafe Di Scala, she noticed a group of travelers entering the restaurant.
"Hmm" she thought to herself, "this will mean that Joe will have to toil even longer before he will be done for the evening."
And she was saddened by that thought. But she persevered.
She entered the cafe, and from the door caught a glimpse of Joe sitting and talking to the group of weary travelers that had entered just before her. She wondered if they had Joe under a spell of some sort, as he seemed happy to see people there at 9:40 at night. As our heroine looked closer at the scene before her, she began to recognize some of the faces of the weary travelers -- one was Joe's brother -- one of the many of the clan -- and as she kept looking, our fair maiden had a blinding realization.... this was the family she was to meet at the grand dinner the following week.
She turned to the other people who toil at the fortress/restaurant and they said to her
-"Wow, I didn't realize you were that tight with Joe's family already". To which Meghan replied "I'm not"...
-"What??, you didn't come in with them?"
-"No, I didn't"
-"You have never met them?" asked another of the weary women who just wanted to go home.
-"No, I haven't"
At this point, in our story, you have all realized what is about to happen.
To which he says -- "Perfect timing, Meghan this is my mom Mary, my Dad Rick and my brother from
Handshakes and hugs were abound, with comments of "Nice to meet you"
All the while, she is thinking "How freakin' appropriate is it that I meet his family in a bar?"
And Meghan being a kind and benevolent girlfriend realized how important it was to hang out with your brothers -- said sure, but only for one.
So she and Joe took the electric blue carriage to another place to meet up with the brothers Pat & Casey.
As they get there, the magic cell phone rang and Pat says to his older brother, make sure you get an extra seat -- Katie is going to stop by.
Katie is the oldest of the great clan.
Katie is married with two children.
Katie NEVER goes out on school nights, much less at 11 PM at night.
Joe looks at Meghan and says "You know what just happened? Pat called Katie as she was getting off of work and said... we are going to meet Joe and his GIRLFRIEND is with him"
So she came as well.
And they talked. And they played 20 questions again. - with all the same questions. And finally after her one beer as promised, it was time to go home.
And so the magic blue bug took them home.
So our hero and heroine finally went to sleep and she knew that she had done well and that the great birthday dinner next week would be much easier now.
And thus, the evening in the