at least not one that i am familiar with. this whole "mom has cancer thing" has turned into one long session in limbo. first they move the tests, then they tell us 24 hours for results, then it is the weekend, then they schedule an appointment to review the results and we still know NOTHING!!! ugh. soooper annoying. i just want to know what is going on so i can get myself prepared for the next few months, treatment, all that stuff. as a result, my motivation to get things i SHOULD be thinking about done is lacking.
A lot.
one postive note this week. Julie got her wedding pics posted up to the internet.
this photographer is absolutely amazing. everything about them is fantastic. they literally brought tears to my eyes they were so well done. Of course, i can buy what i want, and so the list is growing. they are really gorgeous.
the boy thing is moving forward, but i am getting a little annoyed. i don't know. i feel like things are just so busy right now that making time for things just seems like more work than i am willing to give. either that, or i am just looking for excuses not to move forward on any of this.
jury is still out. will keep you posted, natch.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Monday, September 13, 2004
Life on a Chain
Ok- I swore that i was going to do a better job on getting this out and in a timely manner.
Things have just been a little crazy. I was in DC pratically all summer. The wedding was amazing. I of course, lost it during the toast. I swore to myself that I wouldn't... but alas, i failed.
Julie & Scott were inspiring. It really was great. http://www.hollandphotoarts.com/Julie-Scott/
So had just gotten back (missed Sturgis this year :( ) and was getting back into the swing of things when a few things went down.
1- Heather is moving to Chicago. No surprise really. She is looking for a job there and will be gone as soon as she gets something.
2- My car got keyed. That ruled.
3- My mom has cancer again.
The last one kind of got to me. Not sure what she has. There are a whole slew of tests that they are going to run her through tomorrow. My worst fear is that it is bone cancer. That stuff is nasty. So I am pretty pissed. I have to think that once is enough. I mean, I know that this is nothing new for a lot of families, but man. The fates are not being kind. Until I know what we are dealing with, I am not really allowing myself to get upset about it. Seems a waste at this point.
Just sucks. Majorily. Of course, I have done the whole "worst case scenario" thinking and about burst into tears just thinking about it. Sounds so "oh pity me" but when I got the call, I really just wanted someone to hug. And there was no one there.
ON that note, the online thing is moving forward ok... I actually have been talking (ok, well emailing) some guys that live in DSM. Which of course means, at some point I have to meet them. That part is kinda freaking me out. Not sure why.... ? It would seem to be the natural evolution for this sort of thing. Meet, talk ... HANG OUT. But no, not me... I have to get all wigged out about it.
Work is good. Keeping busy. Some days I just want to scream. People can be so fucking dumb.
That is all I can say. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb..... But it is keeping me busy... and everyone else that i know.
Ok- that is plenty for today. I will keep this more current. I SWEAR IT!!!!
Things have just been a little crazy. I was in DC pratically all summer. The wedding was amazing. I of course, lost it during the toast. I swore to myself that I wouldn't... but alas, i failed.
Julie & Scott were inspiring. It really was great. http://www.hollandphotoarts.com/Julie-Scott/
So had just gotten back (missed Sturgis this year :( ) and was getting back into the swing of things when a few things went down.
1- Heather is moving to Chicago. No surprise really. She is looking for a job there and will be gone as soon as she gets something.
2- My car got keyed. That ruled.
3- My mom has cancer again.
The last one kind of got to me. Not sure what she has. There are a whole slew of tests that they are going to run her through tomorrow. My worst fear is that it is bone cancer. That stuff is nasty. So I am pretty pissed. I have to think that once is enough. I mean, I know that this is nothing new for a lot of families, but man. The fates are not being kind. Until I know what we are dealing with, I am not really allowing myself to get upset about it. Seems a waste at this point.
Just sucks. Majorily. Of course, I have done the whole "worst case scenario" thinking and about burst into tears just thinking about it. Sounds so "oh pity me" but when I got the call, I really just wanted someone to hug. And there was no one there.
ON that note, the online thing is moving forward ok... I actually have been talking (ok, well emailing) some guys that live in DSM. Which of course means, at some point I have to meet them. That part is kinda freaking me out. Not sure why.... ? It would seem to be the natural evolution for this sort of thing. Meet, talk ... HANG OUT. But no, not me... I have to get all wigged out about it.
Work is good. Keeping busy. Some days I just want to scream. People can be so fucking dumb.
That is all I can say. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb..... But it is keeping me busy... and everyone else that i know.
Ok- that is plenty for today. I will keep this more current. I SWEAR IT!!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
um, i suck and i know it
it has been a little while. really it has been since i started the new job. i have been just a smidge busy with that. plus 3 birthday parties that i either hosted or went out of town for, one couples shower in DC and i am sure there is other crap as well.
motivation is in the toilet today.
i just want to go sleep.
i should have loads to tell you about but somehow, just not feeling the love.
later.
motivation is in the toilet today.
i just want to go sleep.
i should have loads to tell you about but somehow, just not feeling the love.
later.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
And things were going so well....
Ok, ok.
I know that it has been a little while since I have put anything out. i suck.
Just had the last days at the old job, leaving for the beach and then the new job. been kinda busy.
Vacation was amazing. Got more sun than i should have, spent WAY more money than i should have and drank more than i should have.
Those things combined = one hell of a good time at the beach.
Julie had fun. We returned her in one piece to scott, a little worse for the wear but with no major damage.
And then,new job. Dove in head first, through the spiraling death circle and through the flames of the lion tamer.
Holy crap there is a ton of work here to do.
Things were going so well....
Then, the following happens:
1. roommate tells me he is moving out, need to find replacement
2. boy on e-harmony that i have been totally digging, has started dating someone in the town he lives in.
Crap and crap.
Kinda surprised about jared. i knew that randy was looking for someplace, but i did not expect him to move out so soon. go figure. so now, re-commencing the roommate search.
gack
gack
& gack.
seriously bummed about the guy. i mean in all fairness, you have to jump when opportunity presents itself. and he does live in st. louis, but man.
i can't even meet people online successfully?
jesus, i give up.
and i am pms'y.
this does not make for a good day.
and all my friends are all smarmy and happy-freakin-couples. i can't get away from all the snarky crap.
ms smith, party of one?
yes, your table is ready.
ok - maybe being a smidge dramatic, but not by much.
have ga-zillion tons of work to do, must get back to it.
I know that it has been a little while since I have put anything out. i suck.
Just had the last days at the old job, leaving for the beach and then the new job. been kinda busy.
Vacation was amazing. Got more sun than i should have, spent WAY more money than i should have and drank more than i should have.
Those things combined = one hell of a good time at the beach.
Julie had fun. We returned her in one piece to scott, a little worse for the wear but with no major damage.
And then,new job. Dove in head first, through the spiraling death circle and through the flames of the lion tamer.
Holy crap there is a ton of work here to do.
Things were going so well....
Then, the following happens:
1. roommate tells me he is moving out, need to find replacement
2. boy on e-harmony that i have been totally digging, has started dating someone in the town he lives in.
Crap and crap.
Kinda surprised about jared. i knew that randy was looking for someplace, but i did not expect him to move out so soon. go figure. so now, re-commencing the roommate search.
gack
gack
& gack.
seriously bummed about the guy. i mean in all fairness, you have to jump when opportunity presents itself. and he does live in st. louis, but man.
i can't even meet people online successfully?
jesus, i give up.
and i am pms'y.
this does not make for a good day.
and all my friends are all smarmy and happy-freakin-couples. i can't get away from all the snarky crap.
ms smith, party of one?
yes, your table is ready.
ok - maybe being a smidge dramatic, but not by much.
have ga-zillion tons of work to do, must get back to it.
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