Feminism & Match.com = Good Times

So as part of my ongoing commitment back to the blog -- sounds like a post-modern anthem or something "BACK TO THE BLOG" --
anyhew... As part of my renewed interest, I am trying to keep my updates current.
So, this week FEMINISM: ITS NOT A DIRTY WORD

Went and saw Gloria Steinem speak on Monday (thanks Martine!) and she was really great. She is fantastic speaker and did a great job of taking random thoughts that I am sure many of us have had and not only said them out loud -- but provided some sort of context for them.

Her message was pretty simple: we have come a long way -- we still have a hell of a road ahead of us. I really liked the fact that she no longer views things as "Feminist" movement or an "environmental" movement, etc. To her they are all Social Justice Movements. One cannot exist without the other. Pacifism, environmentalism, Feminism, Civil Rights --- the list goes on. But it was good. She wasn't angry, vitriolic or bitter. In fact, she spoke of the joy that this whole lifestyle has brought her. In fact, she is quite funny.

One funny story -- she had many, and cool names to drop in them, I don't -- but again, I digress. So clearly, this is a predominantly female audience. I think of the 2000 + tickets sold, that I saw maybe 40/50 men.
So one of the main men's restrooms had a sign over it that basically said: For this particular show, this facility will serve as a Ladies Room.
So, I went in. Line was shorter.
I should clarify -- I have used MANY a men's bathroom in my time. Be it desperation, alcohol or a combination of both, the environs of the male restroom is not, in my world, a mystery. Its more like a dirty, stinky, somewhat daring hazy reality.
But clearly there is a generation gap at work here. There were women in there just giggling like school kids about how they were in "forbidden territory" "unknown lands" etc. I will say it served as an eye opening event for one mother who realized that there was a baby changing table in the men's room. I have a feeling she will leverage that information when the time is right.
I just laughed -- these women clearly thought that they were performing some monumental act of rebellion.
Good times.

What else?
Going to start working one day a week at a restaurant here in town, Cafe DiScala. Should be a cool. Basically, I get to hang out, pour wine and get tipped for it. Clearly that is probably an understatement, but hey -- extra cash and just a few hours a week. Will help with debt, which helps towards house.
Speaking of house, going to put that on hold for a little bit until things calm down with my mom. Not sure what a "little bit" means -- but I will know.

Oh yes -- Entertainment factor for the day: Online dating.
I know I have talked about this before, but today's forays into the ether have caused near hysterical laughter for me.

Disclaimer: Some might find it cruel to make fun of people the way I am about to.
Deal with it.
Go to another blog if it bothers you.
On with the mockery..

So I get an email from this guy.
It says very succinctly:

how r u today? i would like to chat w/u so let me know if you would like to
or not

So I go to his profile to see if I have any interest in said "match" ( I use that term in the LOOSEST terms possible)
Here are the stats:
Kids -- Yep. Got 2
Spelling -- Clearly he can't. Which shouldn’t be a deal breaker for me as my spelling is atrocious. I offer up spell check and that ends THAT argument.
Undying devotion to NASCAR and Country: Check

Allow me to offer up some of the golden nuggets that he puts out there for all the ladies to read....
About Me and what I am Looking For:

"I AM 510 ABOUT 210 220 BLACK HAIR I HAVE BROWN EYES A NICE TAN WELL BUILT LEGS
AND A PRETTY STRONG UPPER BODY I HAVE A MUSHSTACH AND A GOTEE I WEAR CONTACTS
AND IM APRETTY LAID BACK GUY IM REALY EASY TO GET A LONG WITH I HAVE A GOOD
SENCE OF HUMMIER I PRETTY MUCH ENJOY JUST ABOUT ANYTHANG. MY PERFECT MATCH WOULD
BE SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO HAVE GOOD TIME AND WHO LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD CONVERSATION
AND IS LAID BACK JUST LIKE ME

Favorite Hot Spots:

"my faviorte place to eat is APPLEBEES the places i hang out are the local bars
and dance clubs. thats not varry offten. I would realy enjoy going veges for the
first time, or going on another cruse, going to the top deck at night out on the
ocean. "

Eds. Note: I did not adjust this text in ANY way. And clearly, did not spell check it

Now I ask you, anyone who knows me -- remotely knows that a man who considers Applebee's the cream of the culinary crop is probably not someone that I would spend a lot of time with.

He had some other gems, but I think these speak for themselves.

I will also clarify -- as my good friend Julie got stumped by this one -- I believe that "veges" actually means Las Vegas. Not veggies.Suffice it to say that I am not going to email him for clarification.
I think I should write a book about this stuff.
I mean, you couldn't MAKE this up.
Maybe I will make this a weekly feature: Crappy Match of the Week.
Could be good.
Names will NOT be protected. If you are that nuts to put your picture out there and NOT spell check, well, my sympathies only run so deep.
What can I say, I am a shallow bitch.

Ok - I think that I have rambled enough for one day. For the record: I have been a human grazing machine today. Appartenly it is eat-as-much-as-you-want-if-your-name-is-Meghan-and-you-work-in-a-corner-cube-day

Didn't get the memo? So sorry, I shall have to whip the cabana boy. He is slacking.

Hallmark Wins

Currently Listening to: Rilo Kiley

Ok - so I know that it has been a LONG time since I have posted anything.
Life kinda got in the way. Holidays, work, work, and work -- that is about it.
Lets see here.
Holidays: Good. Nothing too exciting to report. Chilled with the family for a few days. Saw some friends, hung out in DSM as well. Rang in the New Year with a great group of friends at a local restaurant.
So - 06' kicked off well enough.

Work has been pretty crazy. We are re-doing our offices, so until about 4 days ago, I was a migrant worker. Worked from home for about a week or so. Staked claim on empty offices/cubes when I was in the office.
I must say, I don't think the working from home thing is for me. I mean, it was a nice enough break from the day-to-day stuff. But I got too easily distracted and I missed the interaction of people.
It is one thing to talk to your cats -- it is another to have a day-long ongoing conversation. But our area at work has been completed, so I have a home again. Thanks goodness.

Took the annual pilgrimage to California again. Spent a few days in San Francisco and then a few in Sonoma. Had a GREAT time as was to be expected. Bought some wine -- shocker.
Here are a few of the new favorites:

• Hop Kiln
• Coturri
• SL Cellars
• Bella

You should check them out. Good stuff all around. Runs the spectrum in terms of price as well.
So got home and a few days later got a call that my mom was having emergency surgery. On her spine. Because the cancer had destroyed like 75% of one of her vertebrae in her neck.
Awesome.
So spent 4 days at home -- hospital and house. Cleaning and waiting.
Surgery went well. Doctors said she took it with flying colors.
She has to wear a "C Collar" which is a neck brace for the next 2 months. All the time. Sleeping, shower -- whole gig.
She also has a spot of similar degeneration on her lower back that is going to require her to wear a body brace when she is NOT in bed. The thought is that the body will fix itself rather than require more surgery. Which, according to the doctor is longer, more complicated, more painful -- longer recovery -- blah, blah blah.
So bottom line, she is braced up for the next 2 months. She can walk, etc -- but cannot do anything too strenuous. Like vacuuming, laundry, and so on.
You get the picture, clearly this is not going to go well. Susan does not do sitting around.
Although, she is on a chemo treatment for some spots that they found on her liver as well. So maybe that will keep her slightly less active.
So long story short -- too late -- I will be spending every other weekend at home helping get the house into some sort of order.

I did discover a few things. People shed all inhibitions in a hospital waiting room. I mean, just willing to tell you anything that you want to know. Forget group therapy -- just go hang out in the surgical waiting room. Eye opening.
Its amazing to me how so many health care people -- who in theory should be the paragons of healthy eating, lifestyle -- are a little overweight and eat like crap. Just hang out in a hospital cafeteria. Good times.

So, I think that about brings us up to date on Meghan's world. I think I am going to start back onto the whole blogging thing. Especially with my Mom. Lord knows I need some sort of outlet for all this crap.
I am still working out 4-6 times a week. Although, I don't feel like I LOOK like I am working out that much.
Must be all the wine.

Been looking at buying a house. It is something that I need to do, but something that still freaks me out a little.
Although, with all this crap with the mom-unit, I am thinking about putting that on hold for a little bit. We shall see.

Ok - I am out. Still at work and should try and get something done before I bust out of here.

Blah

So been a weird, mach-80 kinda few weeks. I swear I am not sure where time has gone. Other than past me REALLY fast.
So - working out is still... working out. 2 weeks left to go on the program. Seeing some results, but not quite as aggressive as I would have liked. Bygones. Feel healthier, actually do see some differences and did manage to buy clothes a size smaller last week.
So there is that.

Work is nuts. I had a bad week last week.
People just were being idiots. I wanted to just wear a sign around my neck that said "Let me do my job. I don't tell you how to do yours!" and leave it at that.
Alas, it didn't happen.
The book thing is cool. Working out ok. Not as big of a dent in the bills as I would have hoped. But still getting things back in check.

Decided to take a chance on the online thing ONE more time.
This is what it has gotten me so far:
45 year old men with teenage kids
one 19 year old kid
30 year old twice-divorced fathers of like, 3
and one VERY odd man in Virginia who has a foot fetish and wants to massage my feet all day.

This is my life.
For those of you who read this, and I know you are few -- if you are in a relationship go home and hug your other.
And thank the lord you do not have to deal with the likes of online foot fetishes -- unless you are into that sort of thing, not trying to be TOO judgmental. Its just, well, my feet are NASTY.
Not what I consider an attractive part of the body -- at least not in the fall. Summer, maybe as I keep up with pedicures, etc.
But really, are these people illiterate???
The following things are QUITE clear on my profile:
I have an age range, if you are over 40 -- odds are I don't want to date you.
If you are more than 75 miles away, I probably don't want to date you.
If you have kids, I REALLY don't want to date you -- I have nothing against children -- in fact at some point I want some of my own, but not looking to put the mommy hat on right now.
I have a visible tattoo and indicate that my humor is a little sarcastic -- if these things turn you off -- You do not want to date me.

I am missing something -- really missing something. All I have gotten is a bunch of 43 year old divorcees -- WITH KIDS -- who want to meet me.
Des Moines dating = cesspool.

So this has not really helped in the "No, I am really ok" department.

I know, I know, being a smidge on the dramatic side. But come on -- of the, like 400 people who have viewed my profile, NO ONE is normal?

At this point, this has ceased to be a means to meet people and become sheer entertainment. Of course, entertainment at the cost of some of my pride, but hey -- worth a few laughs along the way.

On the family front, Mom is starting some new treatment options. Things were not responding the way that everyone had hoped for with the shots - so those are done. She apparently had a rough weekend last week. I worry about her. Afraid she is keeping to much inside to put on a good face for everyone. Can't be healthy. I mean, I am not talking pity party here, but she should be entitled to get upset every now and then.

Courtney has done the unimaginable -- she got her own apartment, a full time, SALARIED job and is moving out.

Kudos to her.

Melissa is considering moving to California to live with a friend and see what she can make of the world out there. I say go -- NOW, go. Get in your car, don't look back.

I think that is about it. keep in mind, this post took two days to write.

Yeah. That busy.

On a parting note: Check out the following artists I am currently enjoying:

The Perishers

Amos Lee

Feist

Out

M.

Someone moved my rock

Yes - it is true. I have stumbled out from the rock that I have been hiding under.
Not sure what motivated this -- other than a burning desire to avoid work. Not for lack of work, please understand that - but sheer avoidance.

So, ask the screaming masses, what's new meghan?
"Well kids," she says in her best children's show host voice, "Let me tell you"

Whole lotta nothing.
Now, that may not be entirely true. Actually had a busy summer. Weird to be typing like summer is over -- when in reality, it pretty much is.
Apartment is good. Settled in without too many issues.
Did have major ephiany about 2 months back --
Was looking at two houses on my street, wanted to know what they were asking for them, looked, accidently did one of those "mortgage calculators" and the next thing I know,
BAM
It hit me. Like the proverbial ton of bricks.
There is no reason on this green earth why I should still be paying rent. I should own. It is silly to be holding on to something that is STUPID.
So -- not having made the wisest of credit choices in the past, got a second job at Barnes & Noble -- 2-3 shifts per week, and I am now attempting to pay stuff off as quickly as I can. Of course, "quickly" is a relative term. That and my lease doesn't run out til', oh -- April 06.
And getting out of it would cost more than it is worth. So using this time to pay stuff off. Finally starting to see a smidge of progress. We will see. Even went so far as to look around (virtually that is) at some houses and see what the mighty dollar can get you these days...
Scary.

As part of the aforementioned "Get Control of Meghan's Life" plan, I also started a new workout/nutrition regime. SIX (as in one more than five) days of the week, the alarm goes off at roughly 5:15 AM and I go work out. 3 days of cardio, disguised as kickboxing and 3 days of resitance training. The diet went with it. Drinking pretty much went out the window. Not to mention on the first day of this new plan, they had us run a timed mile, see how many push-ups and sit-ups you could do in a minute... that sort of thing. The key is to have something to compare with at the end of the program --- which is 10 weeks.
Insane.
Totally, insane.
You too can get crazy at Farrells.

So between those two things, my social/free time went south in a real hurry. REALLY SOUTH. But, it has been helping with the $$ thing. Grocery shopping and not as much booze does save a few pennies.

So - I am spending the fall getting skinny and hot -- just in time for, Thanksgiving? Well, the timing might be sucky, but at least I am doing something.

Country is still a wreck. Our president continues to be an idiot -- natural disaster or instigated war -- NO CLUE.

Switching gears again -
Boy scene remains bleak as ever.
The fact that I am ok with this was re-enforced about a month ago when Heather and Sebastian broke up. She is now down in Florida trying to figure out what she is going to do with her life.
Men, boys, testosterone -- whatever you call them, morons.

I should have many, many more things to tell you, but I am dragging at this point. Really would love to just go home, but I have to work tonight -- oh joy.

Out.