Anyone there??
***timidly peeks around the corner***
Hi.
sorry.
I have been a little busy. Finding a spare, witty 15 minutes in a row has been a bit of an issue.
So where did we leave off??
Well.
I have been toying with several options on on the online front.
There is the Executive Iowa Dating site --- $1000 for 6 months of personal matchmaking.
Which I can get a free interview for.... its just the rest of the process that costs all the money.
I had sent an email in to "pre-qualify" the men in Iowa.
Turns out there were 187 men in the state of Iowa that had ponied up the cash for the ultimate in mid-west matchmaking.
As I read through the email, telling me about the process and the free interview -- there is a caveat note....
"And please make sure to review our rates. It does not serve any ones time to
continue this process if you are not willing to commit monetarily"
Nice.
Code for: If you are cheap, don't bother.
I did go ahead and fill out the eHarmony questionnaire. All 400 questions of it.
This means that they have started sending me Thai food, I mean men to consider.
All of which seem to be BIBLE THUMPERS.
Now,I haven't joined anything -- so I just get to read the profile information that is presented. Here are some of the examples:
That the woman that I love would love Christ first and most in her life.
Of the three things you are most thankful for:
Jesus
And there was the guy that listed the bible in his list of three thankful things.
Now, I get that there are people in this world that have more faith than me -- shocker.
And I do respect people's beliefs.
But man, how the whirring, black boxes at eHarmony thought that we would be a good match is beyond me.
Clearly they were having an off day.
Oh and even though my Match.com subscription ran out, my profile is still there. So last weekend was the weekend of the 48 year olds.
No lie.
5 of them. All 48 -- maybe one was 47, but still.
48!!!!!
That is almost 20 years older than me.
That is a lot of years.
A lot.
TWENTY.
That is 2/3 of my life.
"Hello Meghan, I am Earl the Old Guy and I am 2/3 of you life OLDER than you"
This is how I think.
So there is the online update.
Any suggestions and tips are of course, welcome.
What else?
There is the drunken wallpaper event.
Went over to my friend Kim's house to have a girls catch up night. Saw lots of friends I haven't seen in ages.
Well, we had a few drinks, catching up and what not and Kim showed us her remodeled bedroom. She lives in a old home with her boyfriend and they are working one room at a time.
I think I can say without offense to anyone -- specifically Kim & Bobby -- that whomever lived in that house prior to Bobby had a significant addiction to floral wall paper.
All over the house.
No lie.
All over.
So, as we are looking at the bedroom, we see a small section of wallpaper in the hall that had been removed. And we start feeling the walls for the seams from the wallpaper.
And we found them.
Now, at first, I pulled back. I was ITCHING to yank one of them and see what happened.
But, not my house.
So we joked about it.
Finally, Kim said " Go Ahead"
You have never seen women move so fast.
And it was awesome. If you have ever removed wallpaper, you know how satisfying it is when you get a big piece. This stuff was coming off by the yard. We had the entire hallway cleared in about 3 minutes.
Now I am sure that Kim will let us come back -- jury is still out on Bobby (he was out for the night)
Post script: I found out the next day that not only did he like it, but after a few more drinks with the girls (I had left at this point) that the same thing happened in the dining room.
Lesson here: Never let teachers on spring break into your home and feed them wine. You just might be re-doing you whole house before they leave.
What else?
Family update at large.
Went to Cedar Falls this weekend to see my grandma and help move her stuff out of her apartment.
It was good/bad.
Good: Saw all sorts of people I haven't seen in ages. Funny how that is the only time that family manages to get together is when things head south??
But it was good.
Bad -- my freaky uncle from Maine was there.
He is an ODD man.
He talks with an affected Irish-like accent. He is from Iowa. He lives in Maine.
Huh??
Like so weird, that I can't really even describe. He didn't know what "Desperate Housewives" was. I mean, come on -- must be a BIG rock in Maine.
On the grandma front -- not good. Nursing homes are horribly depressing. We will leave it at that.
Mom front.
She made the trip up. Did her first round of chemo last week. But she did well.
She had an MRI on Monday of this week and we will know tomorrow if she has to have another surgery. This would fuse together some of her vertebrae that are begining to deteriorate in her spine.
Stay tuned for all the spiney-goodness. Details later this week.
On to lighter topics...
Headed to Chicago this weekend for Ms. Kim's big bachelorette weekend. Should be fun. Caused some serious fits for Martine and I. I have NEVER spent this much time and headaches looking for a hotel.
Few things we found out:
- Opening baseball weekends mean NO hotels in Chicago.
- No matter how much you think is reasonable for a decent hotel, it is not enough.
- If you really want to stay at a hotel, call them. Odds are they are not fully booked like the website says they are.
So, we have someplace to stay that is not out by O'Hare and does not cost $500/night.
Whew.
I am sure I will have lots to report when we get back.
I should go now. Jon Stewart is on. I love him. I want to have a million of his babies.
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