Now Listening (as loud as I can stand it): White Stripes
Someone is having a laugh.
A good belly, shaking, hurt-your-sides-laugh.
Either that, or Fate is one twisted bitch.
My car got broken into last night.
So, lets get the facts, shall we??
**Puts on CSI-type Hat**
Meghan goes out to car this morning round about 8:30, walks to drivers side, opens door and says, rather succintly:
Mother Fucker.
My ENTIRE passenger window is all over the inside of my car, my glove box is opened, my stereo is hanging by a wire and the CD book that sits on my passenger side is gone. Keep in mind, the majority of the CDs are burned. So HIGH street value for those.
If you have been here before, I am sorry. As this is a profoundly shitty way to start your day.
So, call Cops -- send me to the "non-emergency" line where I get to leave a message, call work and go back inside to wait for the cops to call back.
They do. About 10 minutes after the call. They take all the information over the phone. Don't send out a car.
I then call the rental company to let them know and then the insurance company.
Now here is the funny part.
I just switched insurance companies LAST WEEK.
No kidding.
The check just cleared my account on Tuesday.
I am sure they are thinking fraud of some sort.
So, I am not even fully in the system yet. And the nice woman (and she was nice) says to me, "Ms. Smith, we are sorry, under normal circumstances we would have someone out there and get you set up with a rental. However, due to the fact that your full policy isn't even in the system, it will be 24-48 hours before someone is in touch."
Gosh.
Thanks.
Not that I can complain.
So, I go to clean the freakin' mess up.
Talk about insult to injury. Not only do I have to PAY to get this fixed, but I have to clean it up myself.
So as I am cleaning I notice that the passagner door is all scrapped up from where the glass scratched it. There is a HUGE gouge out of the front of my glove compartment and I will be finding pieces of glass in my car for the next 6 months.
Oh - and the assholes that did this took all the change out of my cup holder.
Side note: I park in a CARPORT behind my building that is not visible from the street. And this still happened. But the Acura (the brand new Acura) parked next to me -- just fine.
So, as I am cleaning, I notice another pile of glass. Seems our perpetrators were busy. They hit another car in the car port. So -- couldn't feel THAT bad.
Get the heavy stuff out. Bundle up, crank the heat and drive to the local car wash so I can vacuum all the other stuff out.
Then call for a rental and hang until they can drop one off. Thank god that they were fast.
I am now driving a grandpa Buick.
So -- I am going to drink tonight.
Yep.
Thats the plan.
I have a few golden matches to update you on, but that will be for tomorrow.
I will say after this glorious beginning to my day, I got to come into the office and was faced with one of the worst fashion faux pas I have seen in a LONG time.
1986 called -- they would like their Hair, Pants, Bad Shoes and EVEN WORSE shirt and jacket back.
Natch.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood
Now Listening To: Aqualung
So this was Meghan's "me weekend"
I had all sorts of plans for productivity and assorted other useful tasks to accomplish.
I did none of them.
I did get a massage -- that was on the weekend agenda. So I get one check mark off the list.
Natch.
Went out on Friday night with the Urban Family for sushi. After dinner we went to Fratellos for a drink. They were supposed to have a piano player -- it was more like high-class karaoke. By that, I mean it was a man and a woman with a music machine of some sort that just loaded song after song and they sang the covers.
Really -- it was as bad as it sounds.
But we discovered something new about Des Moines. If you are a divorced 40 year old woman who spends more time in one night than I do in a week getting ready to go out and thinks she can dress like a 20 year old OR you are a 40-50 divorced man ( or not, I am not sure) who thinks that your wallet can lure young 20-somethings to your side, then this is the place for you.
Crazy crowd. Martine was trying to work the "sugar daddy" side of the dating equation. Suffice it to say, nothing came of that. But -- if you are reading this and somehow fit the above demographic, check it out.
I somehow doubt that ANYONE reading this would fit the above description, but I like to share as much useful knowledge as I can.
So, it was an interesting weekend. Aside from my doing nothing -- I did work one night at the Cafe.
That was fun. Of course, the fun part was having "one shift drink" after we closed and then proceeding to drink until like 3:30 AM with a few like minded folk.
Been quite awhile since I have done anything like that.
As such, slept late on Sunday -- equally long time since I have done that.
But we got to sit around and talk about the customers we had. The drunk girl at the end of the night will warrant an entry all of her own -- it was that entertaining/train-wreck-ish.
Sunday, I went shopping with Martine and then we did some "man-shopping" of our own.
She enjoyed it. It truly is something you have to try to fully appreciate.
We shall see what will come of her picks, but we did have one gentleman who made us laugh -- actually most of them made us laugh, I just decided to write about this one.
Hopeful206
That is his username.
He is 41 years old and a big fan of "quotation marks"
And even though he has two degrees, I question the following entries on his profile:
So there we have it.
Your ethnicity is curvy women??? Not quite sure he understood the question.
And we are confirming the trend in the online dating scene -- Applebees is a high end hot spot for many people in the world. And zoos. I mean, I always think zoo = hot spot.
Keep in mind, he spelled Applebee's wrong. Which is almost as mind boggling as thinking that it is a hot spot.
Yes, he is the man for me.
Mom is doing well -- I believe. I haven't talked to them since Friday, but no news is good news.
I was going to go home this weekend, but going to spend another weekend in DSM -- I just need it right now.
So this was Meghan's "me weekend"
I had all sorts of plans for productivity and assorted other useful tasks to accomplish.
I did none of them.
I did get a massage -- that was on the weekend agenda. So I get one check mark off the list.
Natch.
Went out on Friday night with the Urban Family for sushi. After dinner we went to Fratellos for a drink. They were supposed to have a piano player -- it was more like high-class karaoke. By that, I mean it was a man and a woman with a music machine of some sort that just loaded song after song and they sang the covers.
Really -- it was as bad as it sounds.
But we discovered something new about Des Moines. If you are a divorced 40 year old woman who spends more time in one night than I do in a week getting ready to go out and thinks she can dress like a 20 year old OR you are a 40-50 divorced man ( or not, I am not sure) who thinks that your wallet can lure young 20-somethings to your side, then this is the place for you.
Crazy crowd. Martine was trying to work the "sugar daddy" side of the dating equation. Suffice it to say, nothing came of that. But -- if you are reading this and somehow fit the above demographic, check it out.
I somehow doubt that ANYONE reading this would fit the above description, but I like to share as much useful knowledge as I can.
So, it was an interesting weekend. Aside from my doing nothing -- I did work one night at the Cafe.
That was fun. Of course, the fun part was having "one shift drink" after we closed and then proceeding to drink until like 3:30 AM with a few like minded folk.
Been quite awhile since I have done anything like that.
As such, slept late on Sunday -- equally long time since I have done that.
But we got to sit around and talk about the customers we had. The drunk girl at the end of the night will warrant an entry all of her own -- it was that entertaining/train-wreck-ish.
Sunday, I went shopping with Martine and then we did some "man-shopping" of our own.
She enjoyed it. It truly is something you have to try to fully appreciate.
We shall see what will come of her picks, but we did have one gentleman who made us laugh -- actually most of them made us laugh, I just decided to write about this one.
Hopeful206
That is his username.
He is 41 years old and a big fan of "quotation marks"
And even though he has two degrees, I question the following entries on his profile:
My Ethnicity
When it comes to physical attraction, I prefer women who tend to be
full-figured or curvy
Favorite Hot Spots
When I do go out on the town, I enjoy places such as Appleby's, trips to
the zoo, or even museums.
So there we have it.
Your ethnicity is curvy women??? Not quite sure he understood the question.
And we are confirming the trend in the online dating scene -- Applebees is a high end hot spot for many people in the world. And zoos. I mean, I always think zoo = hot spot.
Keep in mind, he spelled Applebee's wrong. Which is almost as mind boggling as thinking that it is a hot spot.
Yes, he is the man for me.
Mom is doing well -- I believe. I haven't talked to them since Friday, but no news is good news.
I was going to go home this weekend, but going to spend another weekend in DSM -- I just need it right now.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Aiding and Abetting
So - there was some drama last night.
Which at this point in the afternoon, is rather entertaining -- at the time, not so much.
So with humblest apologies to Nate and Martine for what I am sure was a few moments of panic -- I present you with my entry into the criminal world.
So last night -- I went to bed at the normal time. Martine had called about 9/9:15 to let me know that she still wasn't feeling hot -- she sounded like crap -- and wouldn't be working out.
No worries. Set alarm, go to bed.
Fast forward to 2:53 AM -- my phone rings.
Not a lot wakes me up -- I am pretty trained to my cell phone and alarm. That is about it.
But with everything going on lately -- a call at 3AM made the heart drop for a minute.
Then I looked at the caller ID -- it was a Minneapolis number.
My first thought
"Someone is drunk dialing the wrong number and they are going to REGRET it"
So, I answer. Keep in mind my voice is somewhere between Kathleen Turner and a 80 year old with a carton and a 5th of Jack Daniels a day habit.
"Hello??"
"Meghan, its Mike McHenry" -says the voice in one of thickest Minnesota accents I know.
"The whole network is down, been down for an hour and a half -- we need to get hold of Nate and he is not answering his phone. Brice is in front of his house and he is not answering the door either".
-- Side note: our business requires 24x7 monitoring, so someone is always on call. When the "WHOLE" network goes down, this is bad. VERY bad. Thus their need for Nate.
Mike continues "Do you know the home number to their house? We need to get hold of him"
Of course, the house phone was disconnected eons ago. I tell Mike this.
We decide that I am going to try calling Martine's cell and then I will call Brice and see if he has had any luck.
Call Martine's cell -- right to voicemail.
Call Nate's cell -- 4 rings, to voicemail.
Call Brice --
"Hello"
"Brice, its Meghan"
"Hey Meghan, what are you doing calling?"
And I think to myself, 'Well we don't hang out anymore, we should talke more so I thought I would call at 3 AM and we could catch up --- '
"Mike called me. Any luck with the door?"
"No -- are you sure they are even home?"
This is how out of it they are --
"Yes they are home. They must be Ny-Quil'd out or something".
Keep in mind Martine is a light sleeper. The fact that no one has answered the door at this point is nothing short of amazing.
So Brice and I chat for a minute or two more about how to raise the apparent dead sleeping not 20 feet and a floor above him.
And then I do the only thing that I can think of at 3AM -- suggest Brice open the garage door and see if that doesn't rouse them out of bed.
-- Probably in a panic, but get them out of bed anyway --
So, I give him the code to the door.
-- Which I am fairly confident has already been changed, NOT to be shared with me again! --
He opens it. We wait a minute or two.
Next thing he says to me is....
"Um, Ok. I can't believe I am doing this. They don't have guns do they?"
He goes into the house.
I pray for two things:
well, three really
1) The door opening has woken them up and someone is coming downstairs.
2) They are not completely panicked about the fact that their garage door is opening in the middle of the night.
3) They are not naked.
At this point, we hang up.
And thus -- I have become a criminal.
breaking and entering.
Woo me.
I call Mike back. He lets me know that Brice and Nate are talking. I toss and turn for about 30 minutes feeling pretty bad about what we had to do and finally fall back asleep somewhere around 3:40 ish.
Find out this morning that Brice not only went into the house, but Martine's dad was staying the night as well.
Chaos.
Sent a SERIOUSLY sorry email to Martine this morning.
Hope she doesn't hate me.
And now, the word is spreading around the office about Brice and I. Offers have been made to break into other homes to really test our abilities.
I have humbly declined.
My one foray into the criminal world is complete.
And -- for those of you following the story -- the network was restored about the time I fell asleep. So, Nate worked his magic in short order.
This is my life.
Good times.
Which at this point in the afternoon, is rather entertaining -- at the time, not so much.
So with humblest apologies to Nate and Martine for what I am sure was a few moments of panic -- I present you with my entry into the criminal world.
So last night -- I went to bed at the normal time. Martine had called about 9/9:15 to let me know that she still wasn't feeling hot -- she sounded like crap -- and wouldn't be working out.
No worries. Set alarm, go to bed.
Fast forward to 2:53 AM -- my phone rings.
Not a lot wakes me up -- I am pretty trained to my cell phone and alarm. That is about it.
But with everything going on lately -- a call at 3AM made the heart drop for a minute.
Then I looked at the caller ID -- it was a Minneapolis number.
My first thought
"Someone is drunk dialing the wrong number and they are going to REGRET it"
So, I answer. Keep in mind my voice is somewhere between Kathleen Turner and a 80 year old with a carton and a 5th of Jack Daniels a day habit.
"Hello??"
"Meghan, its Mike McHenry" -says the voice in one of thickest Minnesota accents I know.
"The whole network is down, been down for an hour and a half -- we need to get hold of Nate and he is not answering his phone. Brice is in front of his house and he is not answering the door either".
-- Side note: our business requires 24x7 monitoring, so someone is always on call. When the "WHOLE" network goes down, this is bad. VERY bad. Thus their need for Nate.
Mike continues "Do you know the home number to their house? We need to get hold of him"
Of course, the house phone was disconnected eons ago. I tell Mike this.
We decide that I am going to try calling Martine's cell and then I will call Brice and see if he has had any luck.
Call Martine's cell -- right to voicemail.
Call Nate's cell -- 4 rings, to voicemail.
Call Brice --
"Hello"
"Brice, its Meghan"
"Hey Meghan, what are you doing calling?"
And I think to myself, 'Well we don't hang out anymore, we should talke more so I thought I would call at 3 AM and we could catch up --- '
"Mike called me. Any luck with the door?"
"No -- are you sure they are even home?"
This is how out of it they are --
"Yes they are home. They must be Ny-Quil'd out or something".
Keep in mind Martine is a light sleeper. The fact that no one has answered the door at this point is nothing short of amazing.
So Brice and I chat for a minute or two more about how to raise the apparent dead sleeping not 20 feet and a floor above him.
And then I do the only thing that I can think of at 3AM -- suggest Brice open the garage door and see if that doesn't rouse them out of bed.
-- Probably in a panic, but get them out of bed anyway --
So, I give him the code to the door.
-- Which I am fairly confident has already been changed, NOT to be shared with me again! --
He opens it. We wait a minute or two.
Next thing he says to me is....
"Um, Ok. I can't believe I am doing this. They don't have guns do they?"
He goes into the house.
I pray for two things:
well, three really
1) The door opening has woken them up and someone is coming downstairs.
2) They are not completely panicked about the fact that their garage door is opening in the middle of the night.
3) They are not naked.
At this point, we hang up.
And thus -- I have become a criminal.
breaking and entering.
Woo me.
I call Mike back. He lets me know that Brice and Nate are talking. I toss and turn for about 30 minutes feeling pretty bad about what we had to do and finally fall back asleep somewhere around 3:40 ish.
Find out this morning that Brice not only went into the house, but Martine's dad was staying the night as well.
Chaos.
Sent a SERIOUSLY sorry email to Martine this morning.
Hope she doesn't hate me.
And now, the word is spreading around the office about Brice and I. Offers have been made to break into other homes to really test our abilities.
I have humbly declined.
My one foray into the criminal world is complete.
And -- for those of you following the story -- the network was restored about the time I fell asleep. So, Nate worked his magic in short order.
This is my life.
Good times.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I am not a doctor and I did NOT stay in a Holiday Inn last night
Now Listening to: Death Cab for Cutie
For the record, I have a new guilty pleasure -- it is a song.
Golddigger by Kanye West.
I know its wrong.
I know it.
I can't help myself.
Really. I need like a 12-step program or something.
On the Mom front...
Went home again this weekend. That was fun.
Actually wasn't too bad. My mom is doing well enough to fight with me about cleaning out her den.
Her den which is really a landing zone for any crap she doesn't want to deal with: check stubs from 10 years ago, cards from MY 6th birthday, graduation invitations -- you get the idea. She was fighting with me over a framed print with a broken piece of glass. She wanted to keep it.
THE GLASS WAS BROKEN.
Her argument -- one of two things would happen.
1) One of her friends husbands would replace the glass.
2) and this one is my favorite, she would sell it at the "garage sale".
Now, I will admit, my mom has been through a lot in the last few weeks, Lord knows she has enough chemicals in her to run a small business for a few days....but who in their right mind would buy a BROKEN print from a garage sale??
Exactly.
No one.
So, as you can see Susan is back to her old self.
She did add to my crazy factor this weekend though.
So my aunt (Moms sister) who lives in Colorado was visiting for the week to help out around the house. Well, in the week that she was here, my grandmother ---mother to my mom and aunt -- is admitted to the hospital. Nothing really wrong with her except she is almost 90 and just has decided she doesn't want to eat, get out of bed.... basically ready to check out.
So my mom and aunt CASUALLY mention on Saturday that maybe my aunt should ride back with me and spend some time with my grandmother. Providing these two things could happen: 1) My other aunt would be willing to drive the two hours from Cedar Falls to DSM to pick her up
2) She could move her flight from KC to DSM and move the date and not have to pay big bucks.
I wanted to leave no later than 1 PM on Sunday. At 1 PM, they were still debating if she was going to come. At 3:30 -- I left. With aunt in tow.
Well of course, she had to stay the night because of who knows... so my weekend was spent with WAY too much family. And more medical drama than Grey's Anatomy -- which was great by the way.
Onto the Match front.
I have been doing a little man shopping this week. It is become a new pastime.
What is even more fun is checking out who has been checking ME out....
Well, I am pleased to report that we are seeing an improvement in spelling. It does seem that literacy is still a bit of a challenge.
I state very clearly that I don't want to date anyone with kids. Apparently they just gloss over that part.
So our man today...
Kids: Check, 2 of them.
Nascar: You betcha.
Lets see some of the insight he offered for me today:
Now I offer this.... I don't think by "Education" they mean outline for us every high school you went to. I think they simply mean -- level of. And I am sure he reads Playboy for the articles.
Then there is the 41 year old with the 14 year old daughter.
Hotness.
A guy whose username is "Apocolypse Killa"
Hmmm. I wonder if my perfect mate is among them.
Really, if you need a time killer, sign up for match.com for a month. Really -- cheap entertainment.
Ok then. I think that is plenty for this evening.
Will keep you posted of any and all updates in the virtual world.
For the record, I have a new guilty pleasure -- it is a song.
Golddigger by Kanye West.
I know its wrong.
I know it.
I can't help myself.
Really. I need like a 12-step program or something.
On the Mom front...
Went home again this weekend. That was fun.
Actually wasn't too bad. My mom is doing well enough to fight with me about cleaning out her den.
Her den which is really a landing zone for any crap she doesn't want to deal with: check stubs from 10 years ago, cards from MY 6th birthday, graduation invitations -- you get the idea. She was fighting with me over a framed print with a broken piece of glass. She wanted to keep it.
THE GLASS WAS BROKEN.
Her argument -- one of two things would happen.
1) One of her friends husbands would replace the glass.
2) and this one is my favorite, she would sell it at the "garage sale".
Now, I will admit, my mom has been through a lot in the last few weeks, Lord knows she has enough chemicals in her to run a small business for a few days....but who in their right mind would buy a BROKEN print from a garage sale??
Exactly.
No one.
So, as you can see Susan is back to her old self.
She did add to my crazy factor this weekend though.
So my aunt (Moms sister) who lives in Colorado was visiting for the week to help out around the house. Well, in the week that she was here, my grandmother ---mother to my mom and aunt -- is admitted to the hospital. Nothing really wrong with her except she is almost 90 and just has decided she doesn't want to eat, get out of bed.... basically ready to check out.
So my mom and aunt CASUALLY mention on Saturday that maybe my aunt should ride back with me and spend some time with my grandmother. Providing these two things could happen: 1) My other aunt would be willing to drive the two hours from Cedar Falls to DSM to pick her up
2) She could move her flight from KC to DSM and move the date and not have to pay big bucks.
I wanted to leave no later than 1 PM on Sunday. At 1 PM, they were still debating if she was going to come. At 3:30 -- I left. With aunt in tow.
Well of course, she had to stay the night because of who knows... so my weekend was spent with WAY too much family. And more medical drama than Grey's Anatomy -- which was great by the way.
Onto the Match front.
I have been doing a little man shopping this week. It is become a new pastime.
What is even more fun is checking out who has been checking ME out....
Well, I am pleased to report that we are seeing an improvement in spelling. It does seem that literacy is still a bit of a challenge.
I state very clearly that I don't want to date anyone with kids. Apparently they just gloss over that part.
So our man today...
Kids: Check, 2 of them.
Nascar: You betcha.
Lets see some of the insight he offered for me today:
Education:
went to Anson in Marshalltown and then my first year of high school I
went to West Mashall in State Center. After that I move to Des Moines and
attended Lincoln for a year and transfered to Scavo where I graduated from
Last Read:
The latest thing that I've read is papers at work including the news paper.
Oh yeah and the latest issue of Playboy
Now I offer this.... I don't think by "Education" they mean outline for us every high school you went to. I think they simply mean -- level of. And I am sure he reads Playboy for the articles.
Then there is the 41 year old with the 14 year old daughter.
Hotness.
A guy whose username is "Apocolypse Killa"
Hmmm. I wonder if my perfect mate is among them.
Really, if you need a time killer, sign up for match.com for a month. Really -- cheap entertainment.
Ok then. I think that is plenty for this evening.
Will keep you posted of any and all updates in the virtual world.
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