Parental Physics

I am not a science person. Never have been. I mean, I have a history degree with an English minor, so that should tell you something about where my strengths lie.
So it comes as little to no surprise, that I am struggling these days to understand some pretty basic concepts.
Key among them -- time.
I mean, I am not a total momo -
60 seconds in a minute
60 minutes in an hour
24 hours in a day

I get these concepts.
But here is where my knowledge of time is being challenged lately. I mean, I used to think that time was funky - I had days at work when I swore the sun was moving backwards a day would move so slow. But now its these sorts of things...
A child screaming for only 10 minutes will feel like 10 hours
A quick 15 minute trip to the store now takes an hour with two kids and requires you to be able to dead-lift like, 100 pounds with all the crap of theirs that you have to cart around.
The hour between you getting out the shower and getting out of the door is something akin to about 5 minutes when you think about it.

And yet - through all of this, the lump sum total of these time oddities is that overall, time is moving at such an accelerated pace that yesterday it was Christmas. Today is Thanksgiving and tomorrow your kids will be celebrating their 18th birthday.
I don't get how time works.
Like, I need to call on Stephen Hawkins to explain it. Yep - in a conversation with the pre-eminent astro-physicist of the last 2 or 3 generations, it would go something like this....
"Professor Hawkins, can you explain to me why when it comes to my children small segments of time seem to move at exponential slower time frames, yet the overall time period moves faster than anything I have ever experienced?"
And he would respond with something like
"In the atomic nature of the speed of light, the time and space continuum progresses exponentially faster than a single nuclear molecule in orbit "
And what I would hear would be "blah, science, science, blah, science"
And my response would be "In all fairness Professor Hawkins, I have no idea what you just said. If you ever should want to know how to change a diaper while simultaneously breastfeeding, talking on the cell phone and making a nutritional dinner of macaroni and cheese in the microwave - then I am your girl. However, your explanation made less sense to me than my 21 month old talking to our cat."

And that is how I see any one on one time with one of the greatest minds of our times going.
This means, clearly, I have lost perspective. And with it, all sense of time.

Now Watching: Game 5 of the World Series.