Monday, February 27, 2006

Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood

Now Listening To: Aqualung

So this was Meghan's "me weekend"
I had all sorts of plans for productivity and assorted other useful tasks to accomplish.

I did none of them.
I did get a massage -- that was on the weekend agenda. So I get one check mark off the list.
Natch.

Went out on Friday night with the Urban Family for sushi. After dinner we went to Fratellos for a drink. They were supposed to have a piano player -- it was more like high-class karaoke. By that, I mean it was a man and a woman with a music machine of some sort that just loaded song after song and they sang the covers.
Really -- it was as bad as it sounds.
But we discovered something new about Des Moines. If you are a divorced 40 year old woman who spends more time in one night than I do in a week getting ready to go out and thinks she can dress like a 20 year old OR you are a 40-50 divorced man ( or not, I am not sure) who thinks that your wallet can lure young 20-somethings to your side, then this is the place for you.
Crazy crowd. Martine was trying to work the "sugar daddy" side of the dating equation. Suffice it to say, nothing came of that. But -- if you are reading this and somehow fit the above demographic, check it out.
I somehow doubt that ANYONE reading this would fit the above description, but I like to share as much useful knowledge as I can.

So, it was an interesting weekend. Aside from my doing nothing -- I did work one night at the Cafe.
That was fun. Of course, the fun part was having "one shift drink" after we closed and then proceeding to drink until like 3:30 AM with a few like minded folk.
Been quite awhile since I have done anything like that.
As such, slept late on Sunday -- equally long time since I have done that.
But we got to sit around and talk about the customers we had. The drunk girl at the end of the night will warrant an entry all of her own -- it was that entertaining/train-wreck-ish.

Sunday, I went shopping with Martine and then we did some "man-shopping" of our own.
She enjoyed it. It truly is something you have to try to fully appreciate.
We shall see what will come of her picks, but we did have one gentleman who made us laugh -- actually most of them made us laugh, I just decided to write about this one.

Hopeful206
That is his username.
He is 41 years old and a big fan of "quotation marks"
And even though he has two degrees, I question the following entries on his profile:


My Ethnicity
When it comes to physical attraction, I prefer women who tend to be
full-figured or curvy



Favorite Hot Spots
When I do go out on the town, I enjoy places such as Appleby's, trips to
the zoo, or even museums.


So there we have it.
Your ethnicity is curvy women??? Not quite sure he understood the question.
And we are confirming the trend in the online dating scene -- Applebees is a high end hot spot for many people in the world. And zoos. I mean, I always think zoo = hot spot.
Keep in mind, he spelled Applebee's wrong. Which is almost as mind boggling as thinking that it is a hot spot.
Yes, he is the man for me.

Mom is doing well -- I believe. I haven't talked to them since Friday, but no news is good news.
I was going to go home this weekend, but going to spend another weekend in DSM -- I just need it right now.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Aiding and Abetting

So - there was some drama last night.
Which at this point in the afternoon, is rather entertaining -- at the time, not so much.
So with humblest apologies to Nate and Martine for what I am sure was a few moments of panic -- I present you with my entry into the criminal world.

So last night -- I went to bed at the normal time. Martine had called about 9/9:15 to let me know that she still wasn't feeling hot -- she sounded like crap -- and wouldn't be working out.
No worries. Set alarm, go to bed.
Fast forward to 2:53 AM -- my phone rings.
Not a lot wakes me up -- I am pretty trained to my cell phone and alarm. That is about it.
But with everything going on lately -- a call at 3AM made the heart drop for a minute.
Then I looked at the caller ID -- it was a Minneapolis number.
My first thought
"Someone is drunk dialing the wrong number and they are going to REGRET it"

So, I answer. Keep in mind my voice is somewhere between Kathleen Turner and a 80 year old with a carton and a 5th of Jack Daniels a day habit.

"Hello??"

"Meghan, its Mike McHenry" -says the voice in one of thickest Minnesota accents I know.
"The whole network is down, been down for an hour and a half -- we need to get hold of Nate and he is not answering his phone. Brice is in front of his house and he is not answering the door either".

-- Side note: our business requires 24x7 monitoring, so someone is always on call. When the "WHOLE" network goes down, this is bad. VERY bad. Thus their need for Nate.

Mike continues "Do you know the home number to their house? We need to get hold of him"

Of course, the house phone was disconnected eons ago. I tell Mike this.
We decide that I am going to try calling Martine's cell and then I will call Brice and see if he has had any luck.
Call Martine's cell -- right to voicemail.
Call Nate's cell -- 4 rings, to voicemail.

Call Brice --

"Hello"

"Brice, its Meghan"

"Hey Meghan, what are you doing calling?"

And I think to myself, 'Well we don't hang out anymore, we should talke more so I thought I would call at 3 AM and we could catch up --- '
"Mike called me. Any luck with the door?"

"No -- are you sure they are even home?"

This is how out of it they are --

"Yes they are home. They must be Ny-Quil'd out or something".

Keep in mind Martine is a light sleeper. The fact that no one has answered the door at this point is nothing short of amazing.

So Brice and I chat for a minute or two more about how to raise the apparent dead sleeping not 20 feet and a floor above him.

And then I do the only thing that I can think of at 3AM -- suggest Brice open the garage door and see if that doesn't rouse them out of bed.
-- Probably in a panic, but get them out of bed anyway --

So, I give him the code to the door.
-- Which I am fairly confident has already been changed, NOT to be shared with me again! --

He opens it. We wait a minute or two.
Next thing he says to me is....
"Um, Ok. I can't believe I am doing this. They don't have guns do they?"
He goes into the house.
I pray for two things:
well, three really
1) The door opening has woken them up and someone is coming downstairs.
2) They are not completely panicked about the fact that their garage door is opening in the middle of the night.
3) They are not naked.

At this point, we hang up.
And thus -- I have become a criminal.
breaking and entering.
Woo me.

I call Mike back. He lets me know that Brice and Nate are talking. I toss and turn for about 30 minutes feeling pretty bad about what we had to do and finally fall back asleep somewhere around 3:40 ish.

Find out this morning that Brice not only went into the house, but Martine's dad was staying the night as well.
Chaos.
Sent a SERIOUSLY sorry email to Martine this morning.
Hope she doesn't hate me.

And now, the word is spreading around the office about Brice and I. Offers have been made to break into other homes to really test our abilities.
I have humbly declined.
My one foray into the criminal world is complete.

And -- for those of you following the story -- the network was restored about the time I fell asleep. So, Nate worked his magic in short order.

This is my life.
Good times.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I am not a doctor and I did NOT stay in a Holiday Inn last night

Now Listening to: Death Cab for Cutie

For the record, I have a new guilty pleasure -- it is a song.
Golddigger by Kanye West.
I know its wrong.
I know it.
I can't help myself.
Really. I need like a 12-step program or something.

On the Mom front...
Went home again this weekend. That was fun.
Actually wasn't too bad. My mom is doing well enough to fight with me about cleaning out her den.
Her den which is really a landing zone for any crap she doesn't want to deal with: check stubs from 10 years ago, cards from MY 6th birthday, graduation invitations -- you get the idea. She was fighting with me over a framed print with a broken piece of glass. She wanted to keep it.
THE GLASS WAS BROKEN.
Her argument -- one of two things would happen.
1) One of her friends husbands would replace the glass.
2) and this one is my favorite, she would sell it at the "garage sale".
Now, I will admit, my mom has been through a lot in the last few weeks, Lord knows she has enough chemicals in her to run a small business for a few days....but who in their right mind would buy a BROKEN print from a garage sale??
Exactly.
No one.

So, as you can see Susan is back to her old self.
She did add to my crazy factor this weekend though.
So my aunt (Moms sister) who lives in Colorado was visiting for the week to help out around the house. Well, in the week that she was here, my grandmother ---mother to my mom and aunt -- is admitted to the hospital. Nothing really wrong with her except she is almost 90 and just has decided she doesn't want to eat, get out of bed.... basically ready to check out.
So my mom and aunt CASUALLY mention on Saturday that maybe my aunt should ride back with me and spend some time with my grandmother. Providing these two things could happen: 1) My other aunt would be willing to drive the two hours from Cedar Falls to DSM to pick her up
2) She could move her flight from KC to DSM and move the date and not have to pay big bucks.

I wanted to leave no later than 1 PM on Sunday. At 1 PM, they were still debating if she was going to come. At 3:30 -- I left. With aunt in tow.
Well of course, she had to stay the night because of who knows... so my weekend was spent with WAY too much family. And more medical drama than Grey's Anatomy -- which was great by the way.

Onto the Match front.
I have been doing a little man shopping this week. It is become a new pastime.
What is even more fun is checking out who has been checking ME out....

Well, I am pleased to report that we are seeing an improvement in spelling. It does seem that literacy is still a bit of a challenge.
I state very clearly that I don't want to date anyone with kids. Apparently they just gloss over that part.
So our man today...
Kids: Check, 2 of them.
Nascar: You betcha.

Lets see some of the insight he offered for me today:

Education:
went to Anson in Marshalltown and then my first year of high school I
went to West Mashall in State Center. After that I move to Des Moines and
attended Lincoln for a year and transfered to Scavo where I graduated from

Last Read:
The latest thing that I've read is papers at work including the news paper.
Oh yeah and the latest issue of Playboy


Now I offer this.... I don't think by "Education" they mean outline for us every high school you went to. I think they simply mean -- level of. And I am sure he reads Playboy for the articles.

Then there is the 41 year old with the 14 year old daughter.
Hotness.

A guy whose username is "Apocolypse Killa"

Hmmm. I wonder if my perfect mate is among them.
Really, if you need a time killer, sign up for match.com for a month. Really -- cheap entertainment.
Ok then. I think that is plenty for this evening.
Will keep you posted of any and all updates in the virtual world.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Feminism & Match.com = Good Times

So as part of my ongoing commitment back to the blog -- sounds like a post-modern anthem or something "BACK TO THE BLOG" --
anyhew... As part of my renewed interest, I am trying to keep my updates current.
So, this week FEMINISM: ITS NOT A DIRTY WORD

Went and saw Gloria Steinem speak on Monday (thanks Martine!) and she was really great. She is fantastic speaker and did a great job of taking random thoughts that I am sure many of us have had and not only said them out loud -- but provided some sort of context for them.

Her message was pretty simple: we have come a long way -- we still have a hell of a road ahead of us. I really liked the fact that she no longer views things as "Feminist" movement or an "environmental" movement, etc. To her they are all Social Justice Movements. One cannot exist without the other. Pacifism, environmentalism, Feminism, Civil Rights --- the list goes on. But it was good. She wasn't angry, vitriolic or bitter. In fact, she spoke of the joy that this whole lifestyle has brought her. In fact, she is quite funny.

One funny story -- she had many, and cool names to drop in them, I don't -- but again, I digress. So clearly, this is a predominantly female audience. I think of the 2000 + tickets sold, that I saw maybe 40/50 men.
So one of the main men's restrooms had a sign over it that basically said: For this particular show, this facility will serve as a Ladies Room.
So, I went in. Line was shorter.
I should clarify -- I have used MANY a men's bathroom in my time. Be it desperation, alcohol or a combination of both, the environs of the male restroom is not, in my world, a mystery. Its more like a dirty, stinky, somewhat daring hazy reality.
But clearly there is a generation gap at work here. There were women in there just giggling like school kids about how they were in "forbidden territory" "unknown lands" etc. I will say it served as an eye opening event for one mother who realized that there was a baby changing table in the men's room. I have a feeling she will leverage that information when the time is right.
I just laughed -- these women clearly thought that they were performing some monumental act of rebellion.
Good times.

What else?
Going to start working one day a week at a restaurant here in town, Cafe DiScala. Should be a cool. Basically, I get to hang out, pour wine and get tipped for it. Clearly that is probably an understatement, but hey -- extra cash and just a few hours a week. Will help with debt, which helps towards house.
Speaking of house, going to put that on hold for a little bit until things calm down with my mom. Not sure what a "little bit" means -- but I will know.

Oh yes -- Entertainment factor for the day: Online dating.
I know I have talked about this before, but today's forays into the ether have caused near hysterical laughter for me.

Disclaimer: Some might find it cruel to make fun of people the way I am about to.
Deal with it.
Go to another blog if it bothers you.
On with the mockery..

So I get an email from this guy.
It says very succinctly:
how r u today? i would like to chat w/u so let me know if you would like to
or not

So I go to his profile to see if I have any interest in said "match" ( I use that term in the LOOSEST terms possible)
Here are the stats:
Kids -- Yep. Got 2
Spelling -- Clearly he can't. Which shouldn’t be a deal breaker for me as my spelling is atrocious. I offer up spell check and that ends THAT argument.
Undying devotion to NASCAR and Country: Check

Allow me to offer up some of the golden nuggets that he puts out there for all the ladies to read....
About Me and what I am Looking For:
"I AM 510 ABOUT 210 220 BLACK HAIR I HAVE BROWN EYES A NICE TAN WELL BUILT LEGS
AND A PRETTY STRONG UPPER BODY I HAVE A MUSHSTACH AND A GOTEE I WEAR CONTACTS
AND IM APRETTY LAID BACK GUY IM REALY EASY TO GET A LONG WITH I HAVE A GOOD
SENCE OF HUMMIER I PRETTY MUCH ENJOY JUST ABOUT ANYTHANG. MY PERFECT MATCH WOULD
BE SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO HAVE GOOD TIME AND WHO LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD CONVERSATION
AND IS LAID BACK JUST LIKE ME

Favorite Hot Spots:

"my faviorte place to eat is APPLEBEES the places i hang out are the local bars
and dance clubs. thats not varry offten. I would realy enjoy going veges for the
first time, or going on another cruse, going to the top deck at night out on the
ocean. "

Eds. Note: I did not adjust this text in ANY way. And clearly, did not spell check it

Now I ask you, anyone who knows me -- remotely knows that a man who considers Applebee's the cream of the culinary crop is probably not someone that I would spend a lot of time with.

He had some other gems, but I think these speak for themselves.

I will also clarify -- as my good friend Julie got stumped by this one -- I believe that "veges" actually means Las Vegas. Not veggies.Suffice it to say that I am not going to email him for clarification.
I think I should write a book about this stuff.
I mean, you couldn't MAKE this up.
Maybe I will make this a weekly feature: Crappy Match of the Week.
Could be good.
Names will NOT be protected. If you are that nuts to put your picture out there and NOT spell check, well, my sympathies only run so deep.
What can I say, I am a shallow bitch.

Ok - I think that I have rambled enough for one day. For the record: I have been a human grazing machine today. Appartenly it is eat-as-much-as-you-want-if-your-name-is-Meghan-and-you-work-in-a-corner-cube-day

Didn't get the memo? So sorry, I shall have to whip the cabana boy. He is slacking.





Monday, February 13, 2006

Hallmark Wins

Currently Listening to: Rilo Kiley

Ok - so I know that it has been a LONG time since I have posted anything.
Life kinda got in the way. Holidays, work, work, and work -- that is about it.
Lets see here.
Holidays: Good. Nothing too exciting to report. Chilled with the family for a few days. Saw some friends, hung out in DSM as well. Rang in the New Year with a great group of friends at a local restaurant.
So - 06' kicked off well enough.

Work has been pretty crazy. We are re-doing our offices, so until about 4 days ago, I was a migrant worker. Worked from home for about a week or so. Staked claim on empty offices/cubes when I was in the office.
I must say, I don't think the working from home thing is for me. I mean, it was a nice enough break from the day-to-day stuff. But I got too easily distracted and I missed the interaction of people.
It is one thing to talk to your cats -- it is another to have a day-long ongoing conversation. But our area at work has been completed, so I have a home again. Thanks goodness.

Took the annual pilgrimage to California again. Spent a few days in San Francisco and then a few in Sonoma. Had a GREAT time as was to be expected. Bought some wine -- shocker.
Here are a few of the new favorites:
  • Hop Kiln
  • Coturri
  • SL Cellars
  • Bella

You should check them out. Good stuff all around. Runs the spectrum in terms of price as well.
So got home and a few days later got a call that my mom was having emergency surgery. On her spine. Because the cancer had destroyed like 75% of one of her vertebrae in her neck.
Awesome.
So spent 4 days at home -- hospital and house. Cleaning and waiting.
Surgery went well. Doctors said she took it with flying colors.
She has to wear a "C Collar" which is a neck brace for the next 2 months. All the time. Sleeping, shower -- whole gig.
She also has a spot of similar degeneration on her lower back that is going to require her to wear a body brace when she is NOT in bed. The thought is that the body will fix itself rather than require more surgery. Which, according to the doctor is longer, more complicated, more painful -- longer recovery -- blah, blah blah.
So bottom line, she is braced up for the next 2 months. She can walk, etc -- but cannot do anything too strenuous. Like vacuuming, laundry, and so on.
You get the picture, clearly this is not going to go well. Susan does not do sitting around.
Although, she is on a chemo treatment for some spots that they found on her liver as well. So maybe that will keep her slightly less active.
So long story short -- too late -- I will be spending every other weekend at home helping get the house into some sort of order.

I did discover a few things. People shed all inhibitions in a hospital waiting room. I mean, just willing to tell you anything that you want to know. Forget group therapy -- just go hang out in the surgical waiting room. Eye opening.
Its amazing to me how so many health care people -- who in theory should be the paragons of healthy eating, lifestyle -- are a little overweight and eat like crap. Just hang out in a hospital cafeteria. Good times.

So, I think that about brings us up to date on Meghan's world. I think I am going to start back onto the whole blogging thing. Especially with my Mom. Lord knows I need some sort of outlet for all this crap.
I am still working out 4-6 times a week. Although, I don't feel like I LOOK like I am working out that much.
Must be all the wine.

Been looking at buying a house. It is something that I need to do, but something that still freaks me out a little.
Although, with all this crap with the mom-unit, I am thinking about putting that on hold for a little bit. We shall see.

Ok - I am out. Still at work and should try and get something done before I bust out of here.