Exoskeleton or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ?

Now listening: Tori Amos

So, my mom is having surgery today.
Almost didn't happen. Her white blood cell count was pretty low on Friday when she was doing all of her pre-Op work-ups.
They gave her some meds, checked again yesterday and so under the knife she went.

I was supposed to go home for this one. Big operation, fusing several of her vertebrae at her lower back together. But, I came down with a slight cold yesterday and when I was talking to my dad he heard a sniffle.
All the sudden he was Tom Smith, MD

"Do you have a cold, are you sick? Don't come. No use to us sick. You will do more harm than good"
So on and so forth.
thanks dad for making me feel wanted :)

Of course, it is the right call. With an already supressed immune system, don't want to introduce anything to the enviroment that could cause additional complications.

So, I called back last night. They were on the phone - my dad says he will call back. About 15 minutes later he does, from his cell.
My mom is on the home phone with who knows... she was Susy Social yesteday.
And my dad proceeds to tell me that I need to get healthy, take some time for myself -- etc, etc.
I am like, I know, I know.
He thinks that I am manifesting stress over my mom as a cold.
I was like -- well yes, that is about one-eigth of the equation.

• I just spent a crazy weekend in Chicago
• Working 12 hour days
• Had something going on every day last week
• Didn't work out

Myraid of things going on. Then he starts in on the "I need you for the long-haul here"

Weird. Maybe he was projecting onto me his freakout with the surgery.

Maybe I should stop using words like "projecting" & "manifesting". I sound like a therapist. And I am in NO position to be giving advice to anyone.

So - she is in surgery. Has been since 7 AM CST. Expecting a phone call sometime tonight around 7/8 PM -- yep, this takes that long. Kinda nice not to be at the hospital. Those waiting room chairs SUCK. You would think with all the money they are making and all the time that people sit just waiting, they would spend a few bucks on some comfy chairs. Nope.

When she gets done with surgery she gets to wear this full-upper-body brace that looks like a turtle shell. That will be on for an as-yet-determined amount of time.

On to lighter topics -

Debate of the day: I have talked to the date guy from last week every day since ....
But we haven't gone out. I still don't know what I want to do. And in the mean time, a girl I work with at the Cafe says to me, I have someone I want you to meet.
As Martine said -- When it rains it pours.
Oh and I got another bible-beater from eHarmony. Commonly known in some circles as "The Army"

The Number One Thing He Can't Live Without:
Christ

And he has a kid. I really think the whirring boxes at eHarmony are broken. Or a hacker broke in and changed the code to match people with the worst possible matches.
Alrighty then. At work, not really too focused on work today, but am going to attempt to get some stuff done round' this joint.

Pocket Full of Kryptonite

My kryptonite got married this weekend.

You all know what I mean. The one person that can drive you totally nuts.
The person that is all wrong for you, is a total cad, cheat, self-absorbed, makes bad choices, makes you make WORSE choices... well, I don't need to go on.
But despite that list, or maybe because of it -- you are powerless against them.

So, married.
Now, I officially and without fanfare, box it up, pack it in peat moss and ship it off on a slow boat to somewhere on the other side of the planet.
Bon Voyage.

I Just Bought Some New Samsonite

Now Playing: Damien Rice

I still owe you the full scoop on the Chicago weekend and Ms. Kim's last hurrah.
Alas - I have had more requests on the "date" front, so that will still have to wait.

So here we go
-- tighten your seatbelts kids, the ride is about to get a little crazy --

So last night after a few phone calls back and forth we decided to meet for sushi about 8:15 for dinner. His thought, as he said on the phone --
"Why bother with coffee or any of that, if it sucks, we will know and can call it."
Really can't argue with that.
So dinner it was.

I got there a few minutes ahead of him, and sat at the bar and ordered a glass of wine.
Not more than 5 minutes later -- he walked in.
So, deep voice, tall, very metro/European looking -- the clothes, the hair -- I think, this may not be so bad.
So he goes to check on seating, and comes back after telling me it is going to be 10-15 minute wait.
No problem.

So, the bartender offers him a drink.
He says "I don't drink"

This is the point that I about choke on my glass of wine.

I look at him and politely ask if it is an issue if *I* have a drink, he says of course not.

So we sit down to dinner at the sushi bar. Conversation is good. He has traveled extensively, lived overseas, large cities -- very not-Iowa-farm-boy.

Now, this particular sushi restaurant is known for their propensity to throw back large amounts of Sake bombs and one more than one occasion, shots of Hennessey (which for the record is GROSS)
And one more than one occasion, I have partaken in that very social activity.
So, we are sitting there chatting, eating our dinner and I can see that the sushi chefs are well are their way to tying one on ...
And so it begins:

Meghan, do a sake bomb with us

Meghan, need a shot?

Meghan, we have Hennessey

And I am sitting there with a man that not only doesn't drink, but has been sober for 9 years and still attends AA meetings.
Shots aren't really a great idea at this point.

So -- through the course of conversation I discover the following:
(and these are in no particular order)

1) the pre-established addict with no drinking (which is clearly NOT a negative, but a bit contrary to how I live my life)
2) He went to law school, but has spent the last 1.5 years as a professional poker player.
3) He broke up with his girlfriend of several years in February
4) The only reason that he is in Des Moines is because his mother is not doing well, he has no intention of staying here
5) He has no qualms about discussing his sexual past.

So, I am sorta reeling from all of this. We end dinner and he is like "What do you want to do?"
Now, normally, I would say... "Let's go get a drink and talk some more"
This is CLEARLY not an option.

So -- trying to get creative. We go for coffee.
So overall the date was good, intelligent guy, well traveled and read -- I mean this guy is upfront about anything.
and I do mean anything.
So at the end of the night he proceeds to tell me in no uncertain terms, that he is not sure how long he will be in Des Moines... but he has spent a lot of time thinking since his breakup and he is sure of the following:
He is pretty much emotionally unavailable (i hate that phrase, for the record) but is always looking for people to hang out with, he enjoyed our evening and would like to do it again, and really we could have lots of casual sex.

You read that right.

Not sure how many of you have gotten that level of honesty on a first date.
I can't fault him for being upfront.
But holy shit.
Although there is the tiny, miniscule part of me that thinks a friend with benefits may not be such a bad idea for a short term.
Of course, I will not go there.
Fleeting thought though it was...

So, there you go.
There really are no NORMAL men in this city.
No where.
I mean, come on.
I really don't know where to go from here...
The convent?

I tell you what, that $1000 is looking pretty reasonable right about now.

Stay tuned --- details at 10

Now playing: Maria Taylor


Ok - I owe you all like a dozen posts or something. For sure an update on the Chicago trip, the nastiest bathroom I have EVER gone into in my life -- And I lived in Eastern Europe for a year, do the math on that one. and all sorts of pictures of the most gi-normous limo I have ever seen.
All that will take a backseat for the immediate future, as I am at work and have a ga-zillion things I should be doing right now.

But check this, I have a date tonight.
A DATE!!!
A real god-honest date.

Holy shit.



For those of you that I had a previous commitment with tonight, apologies.
So, yes -- I am ditching book club for a date.
I am sure they will understand. If not, well --
Bygones.

So, I met this one online (please hold all snide comments for a moment) like a month ago. Seems normal. Likes Tom Robbins books, so can't be that bad. Looked somewhat normal.
Can use spell check and had no children. We traded a few emails that included a phone number exchange and then promptly never heard back from him.
Until Monday.
I was out celebrating with some co-workers as one of them is leaving for a new job, and my phone rang. Normally I don't answer the phone if I don't know the number. But I had a few beers at that point and nothing to eat -- so I picked up. It was him. Apparently, he had a family emergency and had to leave town for a few weeks. But wanted to touch base.
So there you have it. Tonight we meet.
Holy crap, I have to go shopping. I have nothing to wear.

I shall update later, but must go -- that pesky internet keeps calling and the cabana boy refuses to get up before noon to do my work for me.