Sunday, February 28, 2010

the second time around

I had one of those moments this week that I think is only possible after your first pregnancy.
I was very lucky last go around to get a huge amount of clothes from friends to help off-set the cost of maternity wear. Now -- I still have some, but with other people having babies in the interim, the bulk of the donated stuff has managed to find its way into new hands.
So - on a daily basis I struggle with what to wear to work.
This week we had a less-than-stylish day on Wednesday.
I mean that in a relative term -- most days when you are 6+ months pregnant are less-than-stylish. Comes down to two factors .... is it clean and does it fit?
So I threw on something that would pass for work clothes and off I went. My first of 26 trips to the bathroom during the day revealed what I knew in my heart of hearts to be true.
I looked like a big square house. The clothes I was wearing were too big. And when you are already the size of a duplex moving to the size of a 5 bedroom colonial in the burbs, clothes that are bigger than needed don't really help out in the self-confidence category.

Up to this point, this is an experience that your average pregnant woman is going to have - first baby or not
The complete and utter downer comes when its your second pregnancy and you are not only faced with the realization that in fact, you DO look like a house in too big clothes.
But -- and this is the kick in the ass -- you know that in 10 weeks the clothes that you are currently swimming in will be too small.
All of this takes place in the minute or so that you are looking at yourself in the mirror while washing your hands.
Yep - good times.

What else?
Wedding planning is progressing Got a cake guy - aka baker -- and the florist locked in this week.
And per the trend, our estimated costs were not even close. I swear, I am gonna have to sell my kid to pay for this damn thing. And no matter what article I read about how to handle a budget -- none of them have rules for how to have a budget wedding with 300 freakin' people.
Because - it doesn't exist.

Ok - off to watch something on the Olympics and get to that next load of laundry.
Whee. I love weekends.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

This is not an endorsement

I don't believe it is any big secret that I have a serious issue with mini-vans. I don't say this to alienate anyone with one. Its just like the biggest, most obvious cashing in of your youth, freedom and lets be honest -- any and all sense (real or perceived) of cool.
It is practical, affordable and family-oriented. And having lugged kid and piles of kid crap in and out of them, I can see some ever-so-slight advantage to ownership. Emphasis added on SLIGHT.
But I am not there. Not by a long shot.
So when I saw this:




I had to laugh.
And I am not sure if I was laughing because it was really that funny or because it was just hitting a little too close to home. Like I could see us coming up with something like the "swagger wagon" to convince ourselves that we hadn't lost the last shred of cool clinging to the bottom of my socks just because I hadn't worn them in awhile.
Well, and because we would be winning in the parenting game. Frankly, I think we are kicking their ass.

Another totally unrelated car issue today. And I am not sure if the following is an Iowa thing or this is something that is happening around the country.
Cars are many things. Transportation, a statement, status -- necessity.
You see stickers that convey political affiliation, musical taste, family size, honor student status, canine preference, patriotism, sarcasm and geekdom. To name a few.
Well, around these parts your car has taken on one more role.... memorial/gravestone.
Maybe you have seen them -- the "In Memoriam" and the name and dates of said love one.
Now -- don't get me wrong, I have lost people in my life. More than I care to really think about. But somehow I don't see a lasting tribute to those people as a static sticker on my rear windshield.
Perhaps this makes me the bitch of the week -- but I just don't get it.

On to other areas.
Work = loco.
Wedding planning = continued and constant depletion of our bank account.
Pregnancy = still pregnant. Little Miss is doing well, and starting to make her presence known.

Now watching: American Idol on the DVR. Don't judge me.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Balance...its in style!

I don't want to shock anyone, but this is my second post in one week.
Yes, calm down. I know that this could be some sort of medical condition inducing post, but I said I was going to try and post more often.

So I am working from home today -- clearly, working being the subjective team. We are getting more snow (shocker), Joe ended up getting sick last night and Finn was up from 3-5:50 AM. Those last two factors resulted in Meghan getting little to no sleep. And of course, I set my alarm for 6:00 PM, not AM -- and therefore, overslept on top of it all. The 3+ inches of new snow on the ground made the "stay at home" decision really easy. And its still snowing. We are supposed to be getting another 6-10" before it all ends tomorrow morning.
Suffice it to say, I am totally over winter. In all its incarnations.

So while I was eating lunch, I was doing a little online shopping -- well, online browsing. As given the financial obligations I have in the upcoming month, shopping for anything other than necessities is pretty much verboten. Looking through maternity web sites trying to find some work clothes -- I found these pants.
A few things immediately come to mind.
1. Please note the size. They only go up to a 30'. Which in pre-pregnancy sizing, which is what they tell you to base your sizing on, is like -- a 6? 8? I don't know as I haven't been close to a 30 in a LONG time. So they are pretty much saying unless you were a stick when you got pregnant, don't bother.
2. Um, hello $225.00 for a pair of maternity pants? Now, I will admit, once upon a time.. many, many moons ago, I would have considered spending that on a pair of pants. Please note -- consider. And that would have been for a pair of pants that I could have worn for more than 4-5 months.
3. This is the big one.... the FOUR INCH STILETTOS'. For starters, I don't think on a good day I could make those work. Two, there is no way on this green earth that any woman who is that pregnant could pull those off. Not only is your balance off, you are totally front loaded and frankly, being that pregnant and wearing those shoes is just.... not right. Now, I will wear heels. I will wear them for another 6-8 weeks depending on weight gain. But they are capping out at 2" tops. Of course, this could mean that I have just lost my edge, am getting old and crusty and need to officially check in the cool-card. This is a reality I am not willing to accept at this point.

I think it is fair to say, that I didn't buy the pants. Or any pants for that matter.
OK - I should be off, I have a conference call I need to get dialed-into.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolution:


  1. Remember you have a blog.

  2. Update said blog - clearly already dropped the ball on that one as its Feb 4th & its the first time I have updates.

  3. Not to be pregnant again in 2010. I have been pregnant in 2008 & 2009. That's enough for right now, thanks.

So boys and girls, the bitch is back. We have LOADS to talk about, so lets not waste anymore time.


Mom-ville.

Momville is my new home. Its where I live, breath and exist. There is no leaving Momville. Not even with a week-end pass. People can visit in Momville, but rarely do they stay too long. Until they become residents of Momville, but that is a whole other process. Now - there are perks to Momville. Lets list them shall we.... oh, wait. Snotty noses, dirty diapers, less than adequate sleep, whining, and chasing a kid around when all you want to do is just spend 42 minutes watching Project Runway on the DVR, doesn't qualify as a "perk" in most peoples vernacular. I do however, get toothy smiles, hugs on demand (even if they leave snot on your shoulder), someone who RUSHES to the door every night when he sees me and the joy of watching a little person discovery the world, one day at a time. So are there trade-offs? You bet. Loads of them. But on the whole, Momville is a pretty ok place to be. Unless Project Runway is on.
I kid.

In other big news ... well, I sorta, kinda, maybe got engaged over the holidays. Ok - so that is HUGE in the grand scale of things. It was a TOTAL surprise, a bit emotional and so very cool. So now -- we have entered the "Wedding Zone". Much like Momville, the wedding zone is one most people enter wide-eyed, optimistic, and full of good intention. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will leave the wedding zone somewhat bitter, caustic and dirt-ass poor. Not that I had a lot of cash to just throw around in the first place. For the record, weddings = the biggest racket going. People hear wedding and they automatically jack their prices like, 75%. And then you find yourself getting obsessed over the tiniest shit. Its insane. Especially when you consider that this is ONE DAY OF YOUR LIFE.

ONE DAY.

UNO.

24 HOURS.

And then you come home and find your fiancee watching a "Bridezillas" marathon on We or Lifetime or whatever channel that is and realize that you are no longer on the brink... oh no, you have just gone head first over the edge. And there is no turning back from that fall. And did I mention that it is expensive? Because it is. In ways you hadn't really considered. Ok - so enough of the bitter bride... lets talk wide-eyed and optimistic. In little over a month (we got engaged on Christmas morning) we have booked the church, booked the reception hall, locked in our photographer (Paige, who else?), lined up a caterer, bought a wedding dress and I think picked a place for our rehearsal dinner. Oh -- and the bridal party. The gi-normous wedding party. Joe says to me about a week after we got engaged, "I think I have my groomsmen figured out" So, I casually respond "great, who you thinking about?" He then proceeds to rattle off a list of names that starts to sound more like the amount of guys you would need on a football field, not an altar. I stop him -- "exactly how MANY do you have?" He responds quite calmly ''NINE". Yep - Nine. Nine times. So boys and girls brace yourselves. Ms. I-don't-need-a-man-in-her-life-not-going-to-have-a-traditional-wedding-buck-the-establishment me is not only having a wedding in a church but we are going to have EIGHTEEN freakin' people in our wedding party. PLUS 4 flower girls and two ring bearers. Sweet jeebus. Our wedding pictures are going to look like something out of the Godfather. And did I mention that our first swag at a guest list has us at something like 400 guests? Oh, I didn't. Silly me -- So this isn't going to be some small, intimate event. Nope, this one is full-blown 3-ring circus. I am just not sure who is wearing the ringmaster hat in the middle.

Suffice it to say, we have found ourselves rather busy in the ensuing months since last we chatted. And the upcoming ones are looking much slower. I got a promotion at work -- which is great. However, I am working harder than ever and never seem to get anywhere. Also, I am still doing my old job as well -- so until we get totally back filled at work, I am doing two jobs piss-poorly. Which leaves me with a warm and fuzzy feeling all over. And here are the things we are trying to/planning to do between now and October of this year

(commence drumroll)

  1. Have a baby. Oh yeah - if you missed that announcement, I am also 5 months pregnant. WHOLE other story. Not planned, at all, a smidge or in the least little bit. And yes -- that will put the two of them about 16 months apart.
  2. Buy a house. This is directly relational to the above comment. Downsizing of house was great to save money, not great when you add another person to the mix. Even a small one.
  3. Get married.
  4. Open a small business. Joe is looking into a super exciting business opportunity that would make him a partner in a restaurant. This is unbelievably cool for him. The timing however sucks royally given the above list.

Now, I maintain that for the average person any ONE of those things in a given year is enough to keep someone on their toes. Not us over-achievers. Nope, we need them all in a 10 month time frame. Suicidal? You bet. Coupled with all that is the small financial miracle we are going to need to pull all this off. As the money tree is buried under 18 feet of snow, I have begun the sound financial practice of buying a lottery ticket a few times a month. So far, no luck, but I think we will get there from here.

Suffice it to say, things are a little busy in our neck of the woods. I am planning on being better at all of this. Not withstanding all the other things I am trying to keep tabs on, but I have missed our little chats. I routinely find myself creating an entry in my head (normally right after some stupid thing has happened) but by the time I get around to booting up the computer and putting fingers to keyboard, my brain is seeping out of my ears and I can barely have a conversation with my one year old, much less delve that deep for the snark and wit you have grown accustomed to over the years.

But fear not intrepid reader -- I am committed. Or should be committed. Again, another story for another day. So stop by from time to time. I promise we will have more to talk about.

Now listening to nothing. And its pretty nice. Which means, I can got watch not one but TWO back episodes of Project Runway. Its sad how easily I am entertained these days.