Does this make me a germa-phobe?

I don't think that I have a tendency towards any sort of OCD-obsessed germa-phobe behavior.
At least, I didn't think so before this week.
I mean, I have seen people that get all shades of crazy when it comes to body function and keeping themselves germ free.
I tend to not get too worked up about that stuff. Maybe it is ignorance. Maybe indifference, but I have a ton of other things to concern myself with ...
That was until this week.
And frankly, I don't feel like the story I am about to share even constitutes extreme in any fashion -- more like common freakin' sense.

I work -- as does a good portion of the working class -- in cube-land. Its Dilbert actualized.
This means that I am privy to all the conversations you have with your wife, husband, sisters, friends etc. I know when you are going to the doctor. I know your weekend plans. That is, providing you work within a 10 ft radius of me.
And I would expect that my co-workers can say the same for me.
The woman in the cube right next to me had been out of the office for the latter part of last week due to not feeling well.
Came in on Monday -- still looked like ass for the record -- and I poked my head around the corner.
"Feeling better?"
To which she raspily replied "Not really. I have pneumonia"

My brain quickly reacted with the following thoughts...and in no particular order:
-who in their right mind comes to work with freakin' pneumonia? Answer as far as I am concerned: NO ONE.
- why on earth do you think that your work that you "just can't let sit for a day" is more important than the health of the people that didn't come to work WITH PNEUMONIA?!?!?
- and no offense to the overall health of my co-workers but my ass is pregnant. And you know that. And well, should I catch your lung-infesting germs, I am guessing that those kick-ass antibiotics that you claim are keeping you from infesting the rest of us wouldn't be available to me in my delicate state and thus I would have to suffer through it. Thanks for that.
I really have to wonder about what it is that actually makes people tick sometimes. As clearly, the logic that dictates my some-what screwed up life doesn't not translate at all to others.

All I can say is whatever.
One more thought in a similar vein...

Public women's restrooms traditionally have multiple stalls that allow for you to choose from. Any bathroom with a decent amount of usage is going to have 3+ stalls. My primary work restroom falls into this category. We have 4 regular stalls and a handicap one. This translates to the following rule of thumb...
If you can select a stall that doesn't have anyone next to you, you should. So, I am in the restroom yesterday, at the last stall in the row and someone comes in. There were no others in use and this person chose the stall RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
Why?
Is the one-stall separation rule something have invented myself? Does it not make sense?
I think this might be another sign that I am getting old. Who know?
Old or losing my mind.
Odds are favorable in either direction.

Now Listening: The Reminder by Feist

5 More Months of This?

I think I had my first official craving last night.
And I am not proud. I will say in the last few weeks, once something has gotten into my head -- very few things sound good enough to replace it.
I believe this to be basically the definition of a craving, but maybe I have been in denial.

Anyway -- So, I woke up from my nap yesterday. It was Saturday and it had been a long day. And I was hungry. Rummage through the cupboards to realize that I am woefully overdue on a grocery store run. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I mean I TON of bricks.
I wanted one of those bowls from KFC.
You know what I am talking about. The mashed potatoes, corn, cheese and chicken ones.
Now, one key thing to understand here.
I HAVE NEVER HAD ONE.
I just wanted one. And nothing, I mean nothing, was going to taste better than that carbohydrate-laden bowl of cholesterol.
And so I acquiesced.
And it was good.
So it begins.
Whee.

Now Listening: Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga by Spoon

The black spot on my soul

A part of my soul died last night.
Really. It hurt.
I was watching TV. It's sorta become my thing to do, as I have sacrificed my jet-setting, rock-star lifestyle for a couch-surfing, having-soup-for-dinner type lifestyle.
Hey, at least I am not eating the soup at like 4:30 and I can stay up past BOTH the Daily Show and The Colbert Report.
Moving on.

There I was, comfortably ensconced on my couch, flipping through the gawd-awful programming that is summer television, when I came across an ad for JCPennys. Now, I know, Penny's is not exactly the bastion of style and forward fashion thinking, but they are not that bad, right?
WRONG.
The ad starts out showing some kids in front of a high school A high school called "Shermer High School" and the opening notes of Simple Minds "Don't You Forget About Me".
Now, any self-respecting child of the 80's is going to immediately click on both these triggers.
Shermer High School = Breakfast Club = John Hughes genius
Simple Minds = premier band of the 80's = frequently used in John Hughes films.

But as you get into the ad your realize, these are kids from today, mimicking the moves and character types from Breakfast Club over a COVER of Don't You Forget About Me.

A few things on this:
1) John Hughes films are sacrosanct. They should not be sold out for an ad -- much less a JCPenny's ad.
2) The kids in this ad were not even BORN when this movie came out.
3) The kids in this ad probably have never even seen The Breakfast Club -- or 16 Candles or Pretty in Pink - you see where I am going with this.

Bottom line was at the end of the 30 second spot, the world was a little more dreary as a result. I am not entirely sure that I will be able to recover.

Now Listening: Whitechocolatespaceegg by Liz Phair

Makes no sense.

I woke up this morning with "A Spoon Full of Sugar" from Mary Poppins in my head.
A few comments on this:
I have not recently watched Mary Poppins
I have not recently sung/listened to Mary Poppins
I have not recently talked about Mary Poppins.

I have no idea where in the deep recesses of my sub-conscious this came from, but it has left me slightly disturbed.


Now Listening: to a conference call with too many chefs in the kitchen. Good times.

Va-kay-shon: to not work (or so I am told)

I know it has been a few days since I have posted. For some odd reason, the people at work keep expecting me to WORK!!
I mean really.
It's summer. Didn't they get the memo? Oh, wait. Everyone else got the memo except me because half of my teams keeping taking this thing called vacation.
Frankly I have heard the word used before -- mostly rumor and urban legend, but I think that the whole idea is for you to not be at work, and still get paid.
Seems very strange.
I couldn't take any until this project goes out the door on 08/01. But even then I won't be able to take any because I work for this incredibly progressive company that doesn't really offer maternity leave so in order to get paid while I am out, I have to bank every single drop of vacation and sick time I have between now and the day the little leprechaun makes his big arrival.
It really pleases me to no end.

So, yes, work has been a little loco lately.
The only other question I have is, is it too early to start cashing in on any carbon credits that I might have? The reason for my inquiry is simple, we are now the owners of the SUV of strollers. No, its not gas powered, so I don't have to worry about that. But it is, in a word: huge.
Like, I don't think it will fit into my car huge. So the first hit against the aforementioned carbon credits? Yep, new car.
And the list grows and grows from there.
So I will continue to bank as much as I can between now and January. But, I have a sneaking suspicion, it will be used up really quickly.

Went and saw the new Batman movie last night. It lived up to the hype. In a big way. One of those movies that I would probably spend another $10 to go see again. And yes, $10. Ugh.
Just bitching to bitch, but that seems like a lot. Or maybe not. Maybe my perspective is all out of whack.
Grr.
Alright. Mucho to do at the salt mines, so I should get back to it.

Now Listening: Narrow Stairs by Death Cab for Cutie

Maybe it's just me...

I was leaving work last night and had to make one more stop at the ladies room - it's what I do. I use the bathroom about once an hour -- maybe every 2 on a good day.
Anyhoo -
Heading out for the day, walk into the bathroom and hear someone talking. Which in and of itself is not that odd. Except for the fact that there is only one set of feet in the stalls. Which leads me to the following conclusions:
1) either the person that she was talking to was keeping her feet ABOVE the door line for some odd reason.
2) that she was talking to herself
or
3) yeah, there is no three.

No, as it turns out, she was talking on her CELL PHONE. In the bathroom. At work.
Am I the only one who is really off put by this entire experience? Does it not seem wrong? What if you were on the other end?
"What's that noise?"
"Oh nothing, just the toilet flushing"

I mean, is it THAT important that you can't call back or maybe, just maybe, not answer the phone when it rings and you are in the bathroom?
I know there are those of you that will say not that big of a deal. And maybe you are right -- but I reiterate one point (and this is key) -- IT WAS AT WORK IN A PUBLIC TOILET.
Gross.
That is all I have.


Now Listening: O by Damien Rice

Mmmmn, Ice Cream

Not even sure where to start today. I know its Monday. Which tends to translate to crap work day. This is one of those days, where I have meetings literally from 9 AM to 4 PM. A day when lunch is a luxury. A day where I essentially get nothing done as I am in meetings all day talking about what I should be doing. It is always a joy, lets just say that.


It started this morning with the idiots on the interstate. Now, I know people are not perfect like me. I mean, who can be?? And yes, it has been quite a while since I took drivers ed. Like, 17/18 years. And no, that doesn't make me ancient. I learned to drive in Kansas. In in rural America for years and years, you could get a learners permit at like, 14. Yes - lets hear for those old farm rules that needed kids to run errands into "town" for them. But we took advantage of it. That being said, there are certain things that still stick with me to this day. One of the primary ones concerns interstate driving. If you are on the interstate and coming up where an on-ramp will merge with traffic AND you are in the right lane -- unless there is someone right next to you -- GET THE HELL OVER!
Seems simple.
But they don't. So then I have to slow down, shoot into the next gap, and then slow everyone else down behind me which pisses them off.
Really. Just get over.
Maybe people in Iowa didn't take drivers ed. Or have really bad long-term retention. Or don't care. Or are oblivious. Or stupid.
Nonetheless -- it hurts. And doesn't make me very happy at 8 AM. Which is not a hard thing to do, but making that morning grumpiness worse is never a pretty thing.


Yesterday was a day. Over the last few days I have received several boxes of maternity clothes from co-workers and family -- big thanks to Molly and Kara for the contributions. This has caused me to go - hm, where am I am going to put all this stuff? Which then made me realize that I was going to have to go through all my clothes and do a very late spring cleaning. So piles that will be going to the Salvo (translation: Salvation Army) and piles that will be washed and then put away as they no longer fit. Or are about a week to ten days from being too tight. Which brings me to my bitch of the day. Let's talk clothes, body image and all that good stuff that people spend a lot of time talking about on TV.
As you may have figured out on your own -- being pregnant brings with it a certain expectation for growth. And that growth varies from person to person. So here I am between 13 & 14 weeks and pretty much out of most of my pants. The ones that still fit are tight, so you need a looser shirt over them to cover up the fat rolling over the top of those aka the muffin-top. Conversely, the maternity pants -- and yes, you can just say goodbye to buttons. Nothing screams pregnant like elastic -- are too loose. So then your challenge is finding a shirt long enough to cover the aforementioned REALLY attractive elastic panel on the front of the pant. So your options are -- just to recap: 1) too tight and that looks hot or 2) too loose and baggy which looks equally hot and makes you roughly the size of a house.
So basically, I just feel fat. I don't look preggers. But, look like I have gained some weight. Which is actually odd, as I lost weight at my first appointment and only gained like a 1/2 lb. last month. But optical illusion be damned - I look fat.
Now, my response to all my friends when faced with this situation has always been "But it's ok - you are going to gain weight. You have a good reason to gain weight. And you are not fat. You are having a baby"
Well, I will go on record now, a big plate of crow in my hands and say this to all the women in my life with whom I have had the above conversation --- I AM SORRY.
It doesn't matter.
You feel fat and nothing fits. And that in and of itself, sucks ass.
So on top of maybe still not feeling better or possibly just seeing the light at the end of the morning-sickness tunnel, you are now faced with this harsh reality.
It's the kind of thing that in the past would have drove me to drink. I mean, nothing can't be fixed with a few cocktails on a patio with girlfriends.
My solution to the in-between stage that I currently live in?
Ice Cream.
Yep, you read that right. Nothing helps a little self-esteem/body perception issue like ice cream.
The worst part is this is only the beginning. There is SO much more of this down the road.
I can only hope that ColdStone Creamery sells in bulk.

Now Listening: Viva La Vida by Coldplay

I feel so... stimluated.

I got an official looking envelope in the mail yesterday.
It was notice that my stimulus check was on its way in the next few days.
The same $600 stimulus check that was going to solve all of our woes --
Yeah, like people that are 3 or 4 months behind on their mortgage are going to go "Whew -- $600, MAN all of our worries are over."
I digress.

I open it thinking -- hey, a little extra never hurt. Especially these days. That could be a new crib and changing table (yes, that is how quickly my thought process has shifted).
And I am getting a whole, whopping, big-ass $22.75

Erm.
Yeah.

$22.75 wouldn't get me a half a tank of gas.
Might cover basics at the grocery store (bread, milk, eggs, that sort of thing)

Our mighty federal government at work.
November can't come fast enough.

Now Listening: Frank by Amy Winehouse

Patriot 'Merica

Happy Belated 4th of July to you all.
Hope everyone was able to enjoy a long weekend full of good ole' fashioned American good times.
And yes, that is actual sarcasm dripping off your monitor right now.

Had a full weekend here in fly-over country. Family goodness in Cedar Falls for the 4th. Including my brother getting hit with a firework. And, not talking a sparkler here -- a big-ass firework that didn't really clear the launch tube and made a bee-line for his chest. And then singed his arm.
Suffice it to say, that ended the highly-anticipated fireworks show at my uncle's house. Let everyone know about the little leprechaun. Family was very excited.
I will say this... being on the other end of the drinking spectrum. Mainly - they were drinking and I wasn't, is a whole different point of view. One I suppose I should get used to.

Then high-tailed it back to Des Moines to hit a wedding on Saturday. Which was completely lovely. Best of luck to Sarah & Kirk on their new life together.

Sunday was the big day. The "sunday, Sunday - SUNDAY" of my week. Joe met my dad and both of our parents got together for brunch. Which quite frankly went pretty well. I wasn't expecting Hatfield - McCoy type thing, but you have to admit, it did have some of the makings of a potentially awkward meal. However, the old Bluejay power took over. See, both my dad and both of Joe's parents were at Creighton at the exact same time. So we had a whole lot of "did you know so-and-so" going on. That entire train of conversation kept a lot of bullets away from Joe and I. Not that we wouldn't have been prepared to deal with some of them - but still. It was nice to just have breakfast and enjoy the company.

In closing, all family members now are in the now. Work is clear. Parents have met. And for the most part, feeling pretty good -- with a rare exception this morning. Guess the little leprechaun decided to remind me that yes, he is still there and yes, he is still in charge. I suppose I should just get used to that reality.

I feel like there are 100 other things that I should be reporting back to the masses. However, I am drawing a big fat blank. Pregnancy brain already? That's scary.

So as always, stay tuned.

Now Listening: Change is Gonna Come by Leela James

The most amazing day

Possibly ever.
And yes, I fully understand that I am prone to the "drama" and "exaggeration" but whatever.
We had our first ultrasound yesterday.
And frankly as firsts go, it was a pretty freakin', tear-creating, holy cow inducing of an event.

Of course, all this amazing-ness was preceded by an evening of very little sleep and a TON of completely irrational thought. Key among them was the idea that somehow, I would walk into that room, and they wouldn't find anything there. Like a false alarm.
"Sorry Ms. Smith, but while there could clearly be something wrong with you, there is no baby there"
Yep. Irrational.

But, fear not intrepid readers. In fact, there was a baby. A very ACTIVE baby. Moving all over the place. With all the baby parts that one would expect. And a heart rate of 170 BPM. Sucker was working hard.
It was honestly one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard.
I cried - which isn't all that hard for me these days. Joe got a little misty eyed -- which he tried to play off. Whatever. If there is EVER an opportunity for happy crying, seeing your baby for the first time should be one of them.
So we got lots of pictures. I will have to scan them in to post them, but stay tuned on that one.
Frankly the 3-D ones that they took actually make the kid look more like a blob than any of the others. And there is one that looks like it might have horns. Leave it to us to spawn a Satan baby.
Tammy (our tech) was very enthusiastic. Enough so to tell us that she believed that she could call the sex then and there. I should add, I was tracking at roughly 11.5 weeks when we went in. Based on size and development, she pegged me out at 12 weeks 2 days and adjusted my due date back by 6 days. We will see if the doctor will follow suite and make that official, but anyway - she indicated she knew the sex if we wanted to know.
Her exact quote was "I probably wouldn't bet my whole paycheck, but a good portion of it on it being a ......"
Boy.
Or so says Tammy. We will get the official word out sometime in Sept. when I am further along, but she felt pretty good about it.
Suffice it to say Joe was beaming.
Actually the whole experience had us both beaming, but that one really sent him over the moon.

So I was so excited I came to work and told my boss. I was worried as there are no women in our management chain (another post all together) and some men just get weird about the preggo thing. Like some how I am defective or contagious. Anyway, he was great. Super excited and so that is now taken care of.
And breathe.

Like I said, amazing day. I will get the pictures scanned and posted as soon as I can.

Now Listening: War by U2

Weekend of Firsts

The first time I have cleaned my house in like, weeks. Big shout out to Courtney.

The first time I have been out later than like, 10 PM in roughly 6 weeks. And I enjoyed myself.

The first maternity clothes I have purchased. Eek. Although, I am further going to offer up the next first; they were purchased at a garage sale. I blame Martine. But hey, got some jeans for cheap and I figure, if nothing else, I will wear jeans.

The first conversation about baby names. THAT was weird. Especially as it was started by Joe. And sorta funny in that he was slightly off-put that I hadn't really started thinking about it. But I think we are tracking in the right direction on that one.

The first feeling of odd domestic-ness at my house Saturday. Courtney and I were inside cleaning the house and Joe was outside mowing the grass. It was oddly disturbing imagery.

First run in with a member of Joe's family. It was his sister. She gave me a big hug and was totally cool. So that was a relief. Not that I thought they would brand me with a big A or anything, they are far too good a family for that. But, you never know how that is going to go.

My first trip into Babies R Us as a pregnant woman. And yes, it is still the cash cow, money sucking machine it always was -- but man, the sheer volume of stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. Stuff that we now have to purchase.

And in a carry over of weekend firsts, today my first pair of pants decided not to button up the whole way. Whee. That makes you feel pretty. Let me tell you.

I will offer this up, I fully expect a whole myriad of firsts in the upcoming months (years?) but this seemed like a good place to start jotting some of them down. As I said, Courtney was in town for the weekend. Had a good time, got the house back into a reasonable state -- long overdue. Checked out the Des Moines Art Festival. And had I not just dropped some serious coin on my car on Saturday, probably would have purchased at the Art Fair, but alas, it was not meant to be.
Big week this week around these parts. Today all of Iowa goes non-smoking. And I am THRILLED about it. About time. I know that there are people that claim it is too much government, infringes on personal rights, cripples small business etc.
I say bullshit.
Public health people. Its better long term. And for the record, this passed in a legal, democratic way. Don't like it? Then vote. The fact that I can go into places and not walk out reeking of an ashtray has me more than a little excited.

4th of July this weekend. Will be heading up to Cedar Falls for my uncles annual birthday/4th of July party. Will also be announcing the pending arrival of the little leprechaun. So that should be be interesting to say the least.

Oh, and first ultrasound tomorrow. So will have pictures of the LL. Granted, it will probably look somewhat like a little alien blob -- but its our alien blob, so that makes it pretty freakin' cool.

So lots a goin' on. Oh, and work is like a constant fire-fighting exercise right now. Whee.

Now Listening: Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai