Ludacris

Ok - when it was all said and done yesterday -- I think it was yesterday -- I went almost 30 hours straight at work.
When I started falling asleep in a meeting with my boss right across the table, he sent me home.
Where I napped. For 3.5 hours. Before I came back.
It is now, 5:38 -- so I have been here again for over 12 hours. Since Sunday, I have racked up more than 40 hrs here.
Wow.
I am an idiot. A sleep deprived, looking like ass, idiot.
Good times.

Insane

It's 1:23 AM.
I am at work.
I have been at work since 7 AM -- on Sunday.
I had a one hour break around 1:30 to go home and shower and another 1.5 hour break for dinner around 6.
This is why I get paid the big bucks.
oh wait, no I don't.

Now Listening: To a conference call with a bunch of engineers that can't figure out why a website won't come up.

Bad President

When I was Christmas shopping earlier this year I bought a few calendars as little gifts. And they had one of those, BUY 3 GET THE 4th FREE!!! deals plastered all over the store.
My first thought was who buys 3 calendars at a time.
Then I realized, in fact, I was holding three calendars.
Thus my purchase for myself -- which is generally counter to my Christmas shopping method, but hey -- that's ancient history at this point.
I got myself one of those desk calendars that you change every day. Mine was called "Bad President" and has a countdown of W's tenure in office along with insane, make you shake your head quotes - and a picture or two with some imagined, snarky caption. I would like to share with you some of my favorites. Most of these are only funny if you think about the title that they gave them. They are all funny in a, I-can't-believe-this-is-the-leader-of-the-free-world-and-he-is-totally-clueless sort of way...
I present Bad President:

However, I have No Idea Why It Didn't Work With Me
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test"
-George W. Bush, Feb. 21, 2001

Apparently World History is Another "Theory" That We Can Ignore
"My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because, for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific"
-George W. Bush, Tokyo, Japan, Feb. 18, 2002

While I Terrorize All Of You With My Syntax
"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself."
-George W. Bush, Jan. 29, 2003

To the Critics of NAFTA Who said We'd Lose Jobs I Say, "Go to Nebraska"
"You work three jobs? Uniquely American isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that."
-George W. Bush, to a divorced mother of three in Omaha, Feb. 4, 2005

And I think this one **might** be my favorite....
We Like You Better After President
"I like my buddies from west Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them when I was middle-age, I liked them before I was president, and I like them during president, and I like them after president."

Now, I know you are all reading these torn between two emotions:

• Utter and complete hysterics because these were in fact, public statements of a complete idiot.
• Total terror and fear that generations of future Americans will look back on just a little slice of this stuff and give a collective, WTF?

That's how I feel anyway.

Now Listening: Tourist by St. Germain

Really Done -- Like Well Done

-10 degrees
That was the actual temperature this morning when I woke up.
The HIGH today is going to be 7.
SEVEN!!!!!

Check the weather pixie -- her nose hairs are frozen. At least mine were when I went out to lunch this afternoon.
I hate Iowa.
I hate winter.
I hate cold.

Of course, check back in 6 months, I will be lamenting the 100+ degree weather with 8000% humidity.
Word.
Now Listening: Supreme Beings of Leisure by Supreme Beings of Leisure

Manic Monday

When you have to set your alarm for 7 AM on both Saturday and Sunday -- it makes Monday really crappy. And it is already so my not favorite day of the week, so this is like insult to injury.
Oh, and it snowed all day yesterday. And all the slushy goodness froze overnight. And today we have arctic -- not kidding, wind chill is -10 -- winds blowing all the snow around.
I am SO over winter.
I have officially given up on shoveling my driveway. I don't have a city side walk so, no worries on getting a ticket for that. And for some reason the driveway gnomes haven't been keeping up on their end of the work load. Same for the invisible boyfriend. He really needs to start pulling his weight.
In lieu of either one of those things actually getting my driveway clean, I am going with Plan C:
Just going to plow over the snow with the bug and take my chances on my ability to get in & out of the garage.
At the rate we are going, it will be May before I see the driveway.

We had our Baby Brunch for Martine on Sunday -- weather be damned. We had a good time and of course, I have lots of leftovers, so if you are craving brunch for dinner, my house, tonight, after 6:30 --- I will get pictures posted tonight of yesterday's activites. Does that make sense?

No news on the dating front.
I am getting a little peeved at the Executive Iowa peeps -- I mean, for all the $$ that gets spent on a membership, I would have thought to have had at least a date by now. Haven't had a single email. Meanwhile, every other commercial on TV is for another online service. Coupled with some poignant story about this uber-cute couple that can't keep their hands of each other.
Gack.

I think I need to just win the lottery, move to Ireland and find myself a cute irishman named Seamus or Ferghal or something and live in a cute cottage.
Now, if I could only get the inside track on the next set of lottery numbers, I would be in good shape.
Details.

Ok, I need to get back to work. One of those days where I have a ton to do, and can't seem to get motivated to do any of it.
Good Times.

Now Listening: Let It Die by Feist

Valentines Day +1

I made it. I know that there was a real concern among you all to see if I would in fact survive my least favorite holiday.
I say that independent of my relationship status, never been a big fan of "having" to have a day to tell people you love them.
Hallmark created holiday.
Anyhew -
In spite of (or in support of?) my dislike of the day, I got not one but two calls from the front desk at work for flowers. The first one caused me to pause -- WHO would be sending me flowers on V-day???? Gary has been not just quiet, but pretty much out of the picture, no way would he send them... and no, he didn't.
My dad did.
**collective AAAAWWWWWWW from back row***
And before I could get those unwrapped, the front desk called AGAIN -- more flowers. Now at this point I got really worried.
Heather and Sebastian sent me some.
Yes, I have good friends.
I had a romantic dinner of Subway --
And then met some friends for some vino.
Yum.
And that was my V-day.

In other big news --
My cousin Chris and his wife Kara had their second little girl yesterday. Huge congrats to them. Seems Ms. Sophia decided she needed to be a valentine present. A 7 lb Valentine.
For whatever reason, I didn't get the picture mail until like, 3 AM this morning. But she was born yesterday afternoon. Mom and baby are all doing well. So now we are just waiting for Martine and Nate and then the baby boom will be done for a bit.

OK - back to it. We have Martine's baby brunch this weekend, so I have to do some menu planning and shopping this weekend.
Oh, and clean my house.
Good times.

Now Listening: St Elsewhere by Gnarls Barkley

Happy National Pancake Day

Yes - bust out the syrup and get the fry pan heated up...

It's national pancake day.

In honor of such an esteemed day (or one created by IHOP --details, whatever)

I haven't had a single pancake.

And probably won't.

Moving on to other more relevant news....

BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!!

This isn't a newsflash. This is a statement of fact.

I do, in fact, have babies everywhere. And for some unknown reason -- their parents seem to think that I will be a good spiritual advisor for their children.

I question their logic -- but willing to give it a try anyway.

In the course of 2 days, I have been asked to be the godmother of two mini-munchkins.

The lil' nutter herself -- Ms Samantha -- whose pictures can be found on the flickr link.

Julie and Scott caught me in a moment of emotional rollercoaster and the question was asked, causing MORE tears --- awesome. But turbo charged about it.

And then last night, my cousin Dan asked me to be the godmother for his little one -- Miss Maggie.

Who I don't have pictures of -- yet, but trust me when I say she is cute as cute can be.

So, add that to the Noah mix and yes -- that is 3 little ones that Aunt Meghan gets to spoil.

Conviently enough Sam and Maggie are only 2 weeks apart, so keeping track of b-day's etc, should be easy enough.
My biggest issue will be keeping track of the appropriate religions --

So, here they are....

Noah

Sam

Maggie

This will be fun. The day I send a dradle to Noah for this birthday in like June -- will be the day you know I have lost it.

Actually my advice should be easy -- Golden Rule -- lets keep it there.

What else?

Still no news from the love guru's.

Shocker I know. One of these days I am actually going to get a match that might, well, match. Until then, not turning blue holding my breath if you know what I mean.

Now Listening: LCD Soundsystem by LCD Soundsystem

Cannonball!!

**SPLASH***

That resounding splash is not due to my exceptional cannonball ability, but me jumping back into the dating pool.

**Glub, glub**

That is the sound of me sitting at the bottom of the dating pool weighed down by rocks of self-doubt, fear and the growing belief that I will never meet anyone in Des Moines. And if I do, it will be some momo with 6 kids and 3 ex wives that feels that the best meal is town is the Valentines Day special dinner at the bowling alley -- which I didn't make up, my bowling alley is offering a "intimate dinner for two" with the cacphonous sounds of bowling behind you, nothing screams romance more.

You've all missed me and my wonderful self loathing haven't you???
I have been a little lax the last week. Just been moving pretty fast and at the end of the day, firing up ye olde computer just has not held a lot of intrigue.
That and I seemed to be out quite a bit last week. So buzzed and or drunk blogging is not that cool. Oh, and one night I fell asleep watching the State of the Union Address.
So, now that we have all the apologies out of the way, lets get back to my previous topic.
The dating world.
I took a few peeks around the various sites, match.com, cupid.com and there might have been another one -- who knows.
Anyway, this is what I noticed.

One -- on both sites, I did in fact see more than 2 people that I personally know. THAT is how small Des Moines can be. Which weirds me out just a little -- I mean, what if they stumble across my profile, how awkward is that?

Two -- I was blown away by the number of people that had pictures with their kids on them. I mean, in no way should you hide that you have children, but blasting their images out on a dating service just seems a little --- well, creepy.

Three -- I noticed more than a few people that were out there when I was looking TWO YEARS AGO. Not a reassuring feeling.

Four -- Pictures with your skinny-ass ex-girlfriend with only her face blurred out, not really gonna compel me to give you a chance.
With all those out there.... I shot a email off to the really pricey executive matchmaking service that I joined eons ago and have 1/2 a subscription left.
And get this -- nothing yet. That is one investment I may never see a good return on.
New pictures up on the Flickr site -- including the Smith's girls night out, the state capital and some candid's from bowling the other night. Enjoy them -- I did!
The only other little story I have to share with you all happened this morning, to start off my Monday as only a Monday can start out in my world....
A few of my ground rules for Monday -- it tends to be (barring a major catastrophe) the one day I go in at 8 and rarely leave after 5, just don't have it in me to make it a long day.
So, after snoozing the alarm more than 2x this morning, I finally got out of bed. Headed to the bathroom and flipped the switch. Except no lights. I thought maybe I was just so tired, I didn't actually flip the light. Tried again.
No light.
Looked around, clock -- nothing, no lights in bedroom.
Head downstairs
We are a hard down people.
Nothing. No power. And then I notice its a little chilly in the casa.
It snowed a good part of the day yesterday and rained ice last night...
Head to the basment, breakers all check out. Start looking out windows, no lights on around the neighbors houses.
Hm, me thinks. Could be an outage.
Yep -- call the power company, and get a recorded voice telling me there are wide-spread outages all over the metro area.
So then I think, well, I didn't really do much yesterday, I could just go casual to work and basically look like crap. Which was my plan ---
Until I ran into a very large problem.
My garage is detached from the house. And the only way to get into the garage is through the actual garage door -- not a side door, the actual garage door. Which has a garage door opener attached to it. Which is PLUGGED into a power outlet.
Yep - couldn't get to my car.
So I am stuck in my dark, cold house and can't leave.
It rocked.
Power went back on around 8:30/8:45 and I had missed two meetings by the time I got to work at about 9:30.
GREAT way to start a Monday.

Now Playing: Speak for Yourself by Imogen Heap