Kingpin I am not

I joined a bowling league.
I did this several months ago. The thought - at the time -- was cool, something different, gets me out of the house (like I need help with that), meet some new people that sort of thing.
I did caveat my joining of the team with the usual "Um, I suck at bowling". But, I was told no worries.
Yeah - I suck.
Two weeks in and I have bowled a 83, 98, 84 & 95 -- SUCKAGE.
All I wanted to do last night was break 100. I had a ball issue.
And no, get your minds out of the gutter.
None of the balls fit my fat fingers. They were all too small. And the ones that did fit, were like the 15 pound balls. So that is what I blamed it on.
On the upside to the "league play" I do get a gift -- I get to either pick shoes, a ball or a bag.
My first thought was shoes -- I mean, who want to wear other peoples shoes?? But then I realized, 1) they disinfect them 2) I wear socks. I do not wear gloves and I don't think they disinfect the balls, so I am getting a neon orange ball. It was ordered last night.
So watch out 100 here I come....

Posted some random new pics on my Flickr site. Nothing too special. The huge spider I found in my house, the deer in my back yard this morning, that sort of thing.
And of course, this is the big Block Party weekend -- fun, games and telling the ex-ex no, I will not be your girlfriend, wife or mother of your children.
Good times.

Now Listening: Van Lear Rose by Loretta Lynn

How Am I?

Everyone keeps asking-- how are you? are you ok? how is your family?
Do you want to know how I am? I am freaking the fuck out.
In a nutshell.
And no, that is not a cry for help. That doesn't mean that I need constant attention or supervision or anything else like that. It just means that things are seriously outside of my control right now. And that is not how I operate.
I have an ex that can't face the fact that he was a total -- and I mean TOTAL -- shit when things got bad. I have an ex-ex that is madly in love with me and if I asked, would move to Des Moines tomorrow and get married next week. I have a make out boy that I have no idea what is going on with, not that I have high expecations. I have work that is chaotic as all hell and I need to be spending way more time there. I have a family that needs me to be around right now.
I have fifty freakin' people coming to my house next weekend for breakfast.
Oh- and my mom died about 3 weeks ago.

To quote -- loosely, a John Hughes movie-- "aside from that I am fucking perfect"
And if you can give me the whole quote and the movie, then you are possibly a bigger geek than me.

So my options are to curl up in the fetal position and ignore the world or deal with this crap one dramatic deal at a time.
I don't have the answers. I am no where NEAR close to the answers. And I read back through that and I think that I must be the most selfish woman on the planet. I have a ton of good in my life right now, friends that have other shit going on in their lives -- and that is important to recognize. And still I am focused on all of MY stuff.
I need a reality check, that is how I am.
How to get that, well that is a whole other story.

Now Listening: Bittersweet: The Very Best of Nina Simone by Nina Simone -- not that my listening choices have anything to do with my mood right now.

The fun never ends

Not even sure where to start.
Weekend that was SUPPOSE to be quiet, was of course not. Had two separate sightings of Joe, both times he either left or went and hid rather than see me. But he did buy my beer the time we stopped into his bar.
That's a manly thing to do.

Got another email from the ex-ex confirming that he is still thinking about me, how much seeing me made him miss me and just laying it on -- even going so far as to say,

"I don't want to seem needy but...."

Ok, if you say that, odds are good that YOU ARE NEEDY.

Work is freaking insane. Nothing is going right. And everyone went all high maintenance on me.

Saw make out boy this weekend.

And I have killer cramps right now. I am sure you all wanted to know. Deal with it.

And coming in under the title, of sealing the deal, discovered tonight that I have ants in my kitchen.

At some point it has to stop. I mean, what do normal people do? I will grant you, I am not really the dictionary definition of normal but at some point this has to all slow down, right? Shouldn't I be able to just spend a few days not freaking out about something? The worst part is, I just really want to talk to my mom about all this, and I can't. I mean, she would have simultaneously pissed me off and made me feel better, but it would have been her.

And, I am suppose to go out of town this weekend for the block party. The same block party that my dad invited Gary to. The same block party that I basically told him, as my father invited you, if you want to come, you can. And he took me to task on that one. So my dad is all, Come on down, spend the weekend relaxing, etc. I was like Dad, you sorta made me relaxing this weekend about impossible.
Here is where I am at. I am ok with having him in my life. As a friend. I am not ok with being his girlfriend, fiancee, mother of his children and so on. If he can handle that, then fine. If he cannot handle me in his life without one of those labels, then the answer to me is obvious.
It's not there for me. It's like I said earlier, I closed that chapter of my life.

On the upside -- yes, there are good things in my life -- I had 44 people sign up for the Race for the Cure and like, another 4 or 5 that didn't quite make the deadline (slackers, you know who you are) but will be joining us anyway.
So, now I just need to plan a breakfast for 45-50 people. Should be fun. Not sure where everyone is going to SIT, but it will be fun.

I need a deserted island. With a cabana boy. And a kicking bikini body. And a winning lottery ticket to make all that happen.

Now Watching: The Daily Show
Now Listening: to Boris ( my cat) howl at air.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Drama Installment #8,741
Do you ever feel like you have lost all control of your life? That if this was a reality series, you would be like, no way that is really happening?
I have those thoughts.
daily. at least this week.
Last night.
ooh, last night. So, as was mentioned earlier this week, the ex-ex has been making noises about being interested in me and re-connecting. He actually called me on Wednesday night when I had a few people over at the house, so I let it go to voicemail.
Well, I called back last night after work - I am a big girl, it seemed to be the right thing to do.
Holy crap.
We talked for about 35 minutes. Actually he talked a lot. I listened.
The conversation, in a nut shell, went something like this:
I love you. I have always loved you. I compare everyone to you. I want to spend time with you. I want to get married and have kids and the only person that I only think of when I think about the future is you. I am sorry for all the things I have done to you in the past.
And so on
And so on
And so forth.
And basically every possible iteration of the above message that you can think of.
My first reaction was -- you think the week after my mom's funeral is really the ideal time for this conversation?
Really?
Just think on that for a minute - or seven years.
And then of course, he mentions that he talked to my dad. I was like, I know. He mentioned the block party, again, I knew the invitation had been extended. And he wanted to know what I thought about him coming down for that.
Ok- you just dumped a shit storm on me and now you want to plan a weekend? How about you give me a little time to digest all of this.
Say maybe seven years.
Who effing knows?
I don't. Clearly.
Well, scratch that. I do know that at no point last week when we were catching up was I like, man, I miss him or I can't believe I am not with him. And then there is the fact that in the intervening seven years, I have grown up a little bit. I am not some wide eyed 24 year old that needs someone to help them in the big bad world. So, honestly I am not sure who he is so madly in love with. Some previous version of me?
Jeebus.

Now Listening: Little Plastic Castles by Ani DiFranco

PS: for a great laugh (thanks Danielle) check out this link, especially all my coastal readers.

Back to life, Back to reality

I have been told that people have stopped reading, as my posts have been too sad lately.
Well, back diving head first into the ramblings that you all love. Because surely I cannot just have a few days without anything happening. Oh no. That would be to easy. So I finally made it back to Des Moines late Monday morning. I had to stick around the house and we finished off the last of the thank you cards -- I hope we got them all. Should you be a reader and did not get one, well, chalk it up to the organized chaos that was the last 10 days of my life. That said, a HUGE thank you to everyone. The outpouring of support from every nook and cranny of my life has been amazing. It truly is the silver lining in all this.
Ok - back to the good stuff.
So Monday night a few of my girlfriends decided I needed a night out. Like I hadn't consumed enough alcohol in the last few days. Whatever. So we went for sushi. And it was awesome. I think that was the most food I have consumed in like, 2 weeks. Of course, at Taki, with sushi comes sake bombs. I think we did 3 or 4. And then, we decided to go to another bar for "one drink". And for the record, we did only have one drink. And a few shots, but we never specified about shots.
What am I? Like, nineteen? Anyway.
During the course of the pool game, a question came up about make-out boy. As in, where is make out boy, have you talked to him? I hadn't, so a text message was sent and the response was, been a crazy weekend/week, if you want to stop by later, feel free. As I have mentioned before, we have a friend in common, Lisa. Lisa who was with me Monday night. Lisa who decided that we ALL should go over to Make-out boys house. Um, no. Of course, I hadn't driven that night. Smart move, Very smart move. So we head -- to what I think is back to Lisa's house. Where my car is. And all the sudden, she is giving directions to Make-out boys house, he does have a name BTW - Chris. And then we are there. All three of them get out of the car and head right into the house. I am furiously texting him to let him know he is about to have his house invaded, and all I hear is hysterical laughter coming from inside the house. My only thought at this point, is "Holy shit, I cannot believe this is going down like this.". About 5-10 minutes later, all three girls, plus Chris pour out of the house. I go over, get a hug and I am like, SO SORRY about this. He is laughing as well, so I think no harm, no foul. In the course of like, 2 minutes, all three girls jump into Liz's car and off they go. Leaving me stranded. Nice. Very nice.
So long story short, too late. I had a little slumber party. Get your heads out of the gutter, it wasn't anything that crazy - so yeah.
My insane friends.
Of course, against this little back drop, I have another wave of drama hitting me.
When it rains it pours.
So as I mentioned over the last few posts, my ex-ex boyfriend showed up to my Mom's funeral. Small history lesson. We dated for about 3.5 years and broke up like, 6 years ago -- with the last communication coming in somewhere about 5 years ago. I did in fact, send him an email -- along with some other people -- telling them what had happened. I told him mostly because his mother passed away when we were dating and he had come down to my parents house on several occasions and knew my mom.
So fast forward back to last week. He was great. really. Everything he did was compassionate and very adult. It meant a lot. So since he left the house on Thursday, I have received two emails from him. One that said it was great to see everyone, even under the circumstances, reminding me to not have to be strong all the time -- that sort of thing. The second one came on Tuesday when he basically said he had been thinking of me non-stop and wanted to know what my weekend schedules were looking like as he thought we should meet somewhere or he could come visit. That was then topped off by a phone call from my sister on Tuesday night in which she started the call with "You are never going to guess who Dad is talking to". Given the people that have been turning up out of nowhere the last few weeks, I had no idea. Well, seems Gary had given my dad a call. And they talked about a few things, according to my father, and then Gary invited him to join him at a Nebraska football game. My father then turned around and invited Gary to my parents block party the last weekend of this month.
Um, WTF?
I mean come on, I haven't talked, emailed or sent a carrier pigeon to this guy in FIVE YEARS. And all of the sudden he is like, lets get together, lets see each other, let me hang out with your dad.
Can't deal. I just wanted to come home, get back to normal - or whatever version of normal my life is -- and go from there.
All I need at this point is a drunk, 2:30 AM text message from Joe and the whole thing would be all set.
Narf.

Now Listening: O by Damien Rice

Thoughts that linger

I have been thinking quite a bit over the last week about everything that has happened. It has been a lot.

I remember being totally devastated that I never heard from Joe right after it happened.

I remember saying the Our Father right before they took my mom away.

I remember having a beer with my dad after we left the funeral home and watching Nebraska play the last 5 minutes of their football game.

I remember watching the train-wreck of Brittany Spears on the VMA's on the Sunday after it all happened when I came back to Des Moines for the night.

I remember seeing the flowers from my ex-ex boyfriend at the funeral home.

I remember standing for what seemed like forever during the visitation, waiting for the line to get smaller and it never really did.

I remember getting up and talking, but not really seeing anyone in the church.

I remember my cousins beautiful voice singing the Ava Maria

I remember breaking down the first time I saw Julie when she came into town.

I remember lawn mowers stopping as the funeral procession passed on the way to the cemetery.

I remember turning back in the limo and see an entire almost mile of cars following us.

I remember being more tired than I have ever been on Thursday.

I remember calling my mom's cell phone the day after she died to hear her voice. I have done it a number of times since.

I remember a ton of people who all the sudden told me I looked like my mom.

I remember seeing Nate outside the church and him giving me the biggest hug I think I have ever gotten.

I remember all my friends that came down just for the funeral. Their support is something I will never forget.

There are more. But I will leave you with those.

Passion

I had a number of people that were wanting a copy of th eeulogy I delivered at my mothers funeral.
Here it is.

I have heard over the last few days, well months, really about my mothers zest for life, her joy for everything and her love of life. For me it comes down to one word: Passion.
It is a word that we hear quite a bit, but never really think too much about in terms of ones life. I believe that she was full of passion and embraced everything in her life with it.

She was passionate that that stack of checks in the basement from 1982 were in fact, very important documents that could not be thrown away.

She was passionate that in fact, Ty Pennington and the whole Extreme Makeover crew should just come and raze the house down and start all over.

She was passionate that I was totally off key with any and all political beliefs and couldn’t understand where she went wrong.

She was passionate about my father. And as we have witnessed over the years, that could be good or not so good. But she was. Starting from the fact that she thought he was a total idiot when they first met. And to hear him tell it, it was love at first sight.. And no more was that obvious to myself and my brother and sisters than over the last few months. From them kissing each other in the kitchen when we were younger to snapping at each other over some ridiculous petty thing, their 34 years together is something that we will always cherish as a family and look to as a role model.

She was passionate about her teddy bears and the fact that there was always room for one more in our house.

She was passionate that no matter what anyone says, Sadie is in fact, a well-behaved dog.

She was passionate about children. Having worked in the school system for so many years, I cannot tell you how many times we would be out running errands and she would see one of “her kids”. She never forgot a name, their teacher and we would have to stop and chat for awhile. And in the last few years, as we have gotten older and our friends have brought their children over, the pure joy she had for all of our friends children and our growing family.

She was passionate about shopping. No one could shop like my mom. My father, I belive will back that up. Every day after Thanksgiving off we would go. All I wanted to do was relax and watch some football, but no – she had to get out to the sales.

She was passionate about the disease that took her life. From every Walk For The Cure, to her luncheons that she put on, my mom was not going to let this disease do to other women what it did to her.

She was passionate that in fact, she would need all those stacks of magazines from the entire decade of the 80s at some point. For what, I am not sure we will ever know.

She was passionate that under no circumstances could you possibly have enough Christmas decorations, trees, snow men or Santa Clauses in your home.

And most of all, she was passionate about her friends and family. All of us. To the idea that Patrick could do no wrong – which is debatable, to her and Courtney’s daily routine of “How much I love you”, and her constant worrying that Melissa was doing the right thing and being taken care of. All the visits’ to family – insisting that we see everyone in Omaha for Thanksgiving and in recent years, all the laughs shared around the table in Cedar Falls.
And her friends. There are no words in the English language that will ever begin to express the gratitude and thanks that we have for the wild women walkers. And all of her friends that have supported her over the years, moving all over the world, raising all of us and still being a great friend. Thank you just seems horribly insignificant. My family and I, will be eternally grateful for all of the devotion, love, thoughtfulness and unending generosity that these women have shown. My mother and her friends have showed us that friends are in fact just an extension of family.


And I am passionate about the fact that the hole that has been left in her passing will never be filled. But I know that as I look out at all of you, your stories, thoughts, prayers and continued support will help make each day a little better.

There is a quote that I have had for ever in my cube and that my aunt has on a plaque in her house that I think captures my mom’s journey in every way possible.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO – What A Ride!!”


I will not let cancer define my mother. It showed us her strength, but it was in fact, the ride that made her the woman that we have all loved.

Woo Hoo.

My Surreal Life

I think that yesterday was the hardest day of my life.
We had my mom's funeral.
It was insane. So many people. We did a brunch in the morning before the service and then did our final family visitation before the actual funeral. It was tough. Really, really tough. Just watching them close up the casket sent me into a sobbing fit.
The funeral itself went really well. All the readings we had picked out were perfect. Father hit all the right notes that my dad had talked about in his homily. The music. That is what got me.
My cousin signing the Ava Maria about broke my heart. And then of course, there was On Eagles Wings -- the most cliche funeral song ever, but my dad wanted it. Of course, it was played right before I spoke.
Brilliant timing on my part.
But I did speak. THAT was actually the hardest thing I have had to do. All my sisters and brother came up with me, just to support me. But I got through it... barely in some parts.
We finished up and as I was sitting in the limo waiting to go to the cemetery, I looked up and saw .... my ex-ex boyfriend. Like, I haven't talked to him in something like 5 years.
It was surreal. I mean, really.
Actually the last four -- five days -- have been surreal. But the Gary thing was definitely up there on the list of key contributors.
We made it through the grave yard service without too many issues. I just remember looking back at the cars and the line just went on for ever....
So many people came down from Des Moines, flew in from the coasts..... I have been overwhelmed with people. The level of support and generosity that has been shown to my family is beyond comprehension. And the flowers and plants. We will be writing thank you notes for the rest of the year.
Right now I am just tired. So tired. Gonna hang out at the house for a few more days before heading home.
The whole thing was like a wedding in reverse. You have to say hello to everyone, balance both sides of the family, make sure the friends that travelled get the time with you -- feed and hydrate (or de-hydrate with alcohol, thanks Nate & Sebastian for the crazy wine run) everyone. Just nuts.

The rolodex of my past

We had my mom's visitation last night.
In a word, flowers.
In another word, people.
Lots and lots of people.
People I knew, people I should have known and people I don't know at all.
It was a steady stream for a good 2 hours. We actually had to start the rosary service late because the receiving line wasn't getting any smaller.
I am amazed at the people that I saw. Old high school friends, old high school friends parents, coaches, teachers -- I even saw my 7th grade English teacher. I knew that I knew her face, but could not place her name.
Oops.
Actually that was the theme of the night. I said on more than one occasion, this is what my mom always kept up on -- all these people. I never had to worry about names or anything with her around.
Some friends on my mom's did a video slide show of pictures. It was beautiful.
We are getting ready to leave for the brunch before the funeral, but I wanted to get down last nights events.
I can't believe all the people that told me I look like my mom -- for 32 years I have been told I was my father's daughter. I had sort of made peace with the fact that I was going to look like a tall, fat guy my whole life.
Well, last night it was a steady stream of how much I look like my mom.
It was odd.

Now Listening: to my sister and brother fighting.

It's quiet

And I believe it is the quiet before the storm.
Or so they say.
I have been home since Friday night after work. My mom passed on Saturday morning, so this house has been all things chaotic since then. I decided to get up a little early this morning just so I could collect my thoughts a little bit.
Or a lot.
I was able to get home before she went. That has given me a huge sense of relief. And all of us were here. Everyone seems to think, that she waited for all of us to be around to say goodbye. I don't know if that is in fact the case, but it does certainly seem that way.
Everything since then has been a blur. People, more people, food, more food... and now that we have hit the week days, the flowers and cards.
I am amazed at the tiny corners and recesses that everyone has come out of. It's just amazing.
People I haven't seen or talked to in 10, 15 years are just showing up, calling etc. I suppose that it is really a reflection of my mom rather than anything we have done. That is what we should be focused on.
I have had some questions about times, places etc... so here we go.

Visitation & Rosary (yes, we are catholic -- I haven't felt this catholic or had to dig this deep in the catholic recesses of my brain for a long time) will be tonight, 6-8 PM, rosary starts at 7 at the Davis Funeral Chapel in Leavenworth, KS
www.davisfuneralchapelinc.com

Funeral will be tomorrow at my parents parish church, St Francis De Sales in Lansing, KS. That is starting at 12:30.

I am hanging in there. LIke I said, it all seems a bit of a blur at this point. I think it might stay this way for quite some time. The rest, I am sure, will come.
Now Listening: to nothing. And it's good.

Susan E Smith

My mom died today.
I am for once, without any thing to say.

I have pissed someone off

Are you kidding me? Really.
Kidding.
Someone, somewhere is having a good old laugh at my behalf.
Like I don't have enough going on in my life right now.
I came home today -- today being the only day this week that was not blocked up with something. Today being the gonna sit on the couch, watch some football and maybe just maybe, have a beer.
If I was feeling really ambitious, I would mow my urban jungle, I mean yard.
No, instead, I came home to water.
Lots and lots of water.
Water in my kitchen.
Water in my dining room.
Water in my hallway.
Water completely soaking the rug in the hallway -- and luckily preventing the water from getting into the rooms with carpet.
Water dripping from every possible seam, joint, and whatever else you call them, in my basement.
Water all over the basement.
Like 2 feet of water that had collected in the washing machine tub.
My house was a swamp.
For the second time in 6 months.
The culprit this time around?
Well, you won't believe this one. As I was walking out the door this morning, I turned on the dishwasher. Why? It was full from the night before as I hosted book club last night.
Turns out that handy little hose that connected the dishwasher to the water line decided to separate. So water was shooting out of it all day long.
All day long.
8 hours.
Freakin' swamp.
You have all heard that old adage "God only gives you what he thinks you can handle"
Ok - news flash.
He, she, it, whomever -- pick a Deity for all I care -- I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!. It's official. I am tapping out. Hit maximum capacity. Filled to the brim.
Don't care.
Done.
So I managed to get the main floor cleared up.
Wait...
I hear lightening. Yes, it is raining. Meaning the rug I had laid out to DRY is now being rained on after sitting in the swamp that was my hallway all day.
Awesome.
I think I am just going to call it a day.
Seriously, not sure what sort of cosmic cleansing I need, but more than willing to listen to any suggestions that anyone has at this point.

Now Watching: Thursday night football.

Normal? What is normal?

We hit critical mass the other night.
Massive breakdown
Reading in bed, listening to the radio as I often do before I fall asleep. Didn't have the iPod plugged in so was listening to a local station when "In The Arms of the Angels" by Sarah McLachlan came on. Not sure what the tripping point was, but the floodgates opened and didn't end for a good 20 minutes. I was like a 2 year old after a temper tantrum. That hiccup-y, sobby heaving that accompanies a good, solid, bawl your eyes out cry.
So there it is.
I am confident that it will not be the last.
Mom unit is ok. Things are pretty much changing daily. Just when you think you have a handle on the latest normalness -- and I use that term VERY loosely. NOTHING about this is normal. Something else shifts. She clearly is spending more time in bed, more time sleeping and not as engaged as she was with other people. But we take it day by day and keep doing what we think is right.
Some days are good, some are not. I have days where I will just stare at the computer, trying to get work done -- knowing that there is massive amounts to do, but just can't get focused. Other days, rock star. It sucks. But, I try to remind myself that there is in fact, a world that continues to revolve. Other people have things going on in their lives and I do need to focus on the good. And there is a lot of good right now. The good is good, and the bad, well it is bad.
Funny -- I don't have a little curl on my forehead, but whatever.

Now Listening: Wincing The Night Away by The Shins

Dog Days of Summer

It's September.
That just seems insane to me. Where in the hell did my summer go? It wasn't at the pool, on the boat, at the lake or plopped in a beach chair reading trashy magazines -- so where is it?
WHERE HAS MY SUMMER GONE?!?!?!?!
Oh, there it is.
In a cube.
Split between meetings and conference calls. Deadlines and budgets. And with the exception of an occasional lunch-time online check of People.com, not a trashy magazine in sight.
Go ahead. Envy me.
In honor of Labor Day - I chose not to labor. Was down at my parents house for a little bit. Came back up to DSM on Sunday so I could have one day at my house where I do more than just sleep in it. So I went out to the Court Ave Street Party on Sunday night with the headlining performance by Reel Big Fish. Hadn't heard some of their stuff since college, so that was cool. Had some cocktails, met some new friends, avoided ex-boyfriends, all in all, a solid Sunday performance. Even traded some digits -- GASP.
We shall see on that one. You never know how that is going to go when you meet someone in a bar.


Yesterday was spent in dedication to two things -- 1) sleep. 2) my house.
I did better at #1
Although, I did get quite a few things done around the house. And got my mom's b-day party invitations finished up. Just not mailed. So if you didn't get an invite via the mail and you think that you should, rest assured, it will be there shortly.
That then translated to a day of laundry and watching mind numbing, brain cell killing television. And I think it is fair to say that I found my place. Vh1. Rock of Love. Bret Michaels, yes of Poison fame, looking for "true Love". With 20 year old strippers. But I love it. I love it for its trashiness. I love it for its bull shit drama. I love it for the train wreck that is the whole show. Check it out. I PROMISE you will not be disappointed. Think groupies who still think that "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" is still the uber-power ballad of all time. Which it very well may be -- but that is not the issue here.
This of course took me right up to that part of the night that got interesting. When the phone started ringing with text messages. From the boy that I had my little make out session with a few weeks back. Over the course of a few text's back and forth, I was invited over to come watch a movie. So I did. And we hung out. And had a good time. And yes, we made out a little bit more. Sometimes a little making out is good for the soul. Martine says I had a date. I don't think so. I think we just hung out for a little bit.
On another note, I just tried logging into my messenger client and for the life of me CANNOT remember my password. And of course, the "security question" does not seem to be doing the trick.
Grr. I just want to do a little IMing.

Now Watching: the daily show